Identity: false
by JorixBade
Summary: Jade and her father have always seemed a regular family, but they aren't one, they are not even family at all. They also seem regular american people, but that's part of their facade too. What if Jade wasn't who she says she is? Being a spy is hard and secrets can't last forever. Jade's apparent normal life might be at risk when Beck and her friends get too close to the truth.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey!**

**So my other story, Family holidays, is going to be over soon so I decided to post this one now! ;)**

**It's really on the more fictional side because I've been really into russian spies movies and stuff, so I thought it'd be fun to adapt the story to Victorious and I hope you enjoy! :)**

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The Cold War was over but the resentment would never be; the KGB was dismantled and new organisms, some known and some unknown, emerged from it. These institutions were in charge of the intelligence and security of Russia. The TA-12 program was created as a long term strategy to infiltrate russian spies in Western societies and strike at any point if needed.

The TA-12 program recruited babies and young children from orphanages all over the former Soviet Union and put them through rigorous training until they became teenagers. By the time they reached the age of 12, they were expert fighters, assassins and spies ready to take over their new lives impersonating citizens of enemy nations. These children were usually placed alongside an adult ally, either directly or indirectly, to ensure they continued their training and grew up to fulfill their missions.

**File 00035- Assignation fulfilled. **

Birth Name: Alexandra Romanova

Age: 12

Placement: Los Angeles, California.

Mission Name: Jade West

Assigned Caretaker: Alek Petrov

Age: 38

Mission name: John West

Subjects:

John West

-Age: 40

-Occupation: lawyer

-Current status: single father (Late wife passed away during the birth of their daughter). No family and few friends, he recently moved from Washington to California to take on a new job.

Jade West

-Age: 11

-Occupation: home schooled.

Exchange process:

John West was contacted by a Russian agent to assist a case in Ukraine on behalf of an american citizen. On November 22nd, the planned accident took place; John West and his daughter passed away during the car crash.

Alek, who'd previously undergone extensive plastic surgery to resemble the subject, was sent to the hospital instead.

Alexandra's resemblance to Jade West was natural, but she was too sent to the hospital after the crash and a fake medical report was made to justify her facial changes, by claiming plastic surgery had been done on her after the accident.

On January 15th Alexandra Romanova and Alek Petrov landed in Los Angeles, California and successfully replaced Jade West and John West respectively.

**Current status- 6 years in mission. **

Alex Petrov (John West)

He became a judge four years after arrival and has continued to provide extensive training to his assigned TA-12.

Accomplishments include:

-Seven high priority cases dropped.

-Imprisonment and extradition of two Russian defectors.

-Assassination of two CIA agents.

-Outstanding performance of his TA-12.

-Access to crucial Pentagon's files.

Alexandra Romanova (Jade West)

She's currently 18 years old and studying in a local high school called Hollywood Arts. She continues to excel among her peers, both in school and in the program.

Accomplishments include:

-Assassination of two defectors.

-Assassination of governor's son.

-Assassination of anti-Russian senator.

-Delivery of key confidential information (Obtained from high profile politicians).

_**Mission**: ongoing_

_**Next target:** TBD_

"Hey" Jade said as she stepped into the kitchen and saw her 'father' reading the news.

"How was school?" He asked and put the newspaper down.

"It was alright" She responded and he nodded. "I'm gonna need you to come to a play in a few of weeks"

"Okay, anything else?" He asked.

"You know the deal, we don't get along, you don't pay enough attention to me, blah blah blah" Jade commented. "The last time you went to my play, they completely fell for it" she added and he nodded.

"Good" He said and took a sip of coffee. "Hey, what ever happened to that boyfriend of yours? I haven't seen him around the house"

"That's because you are usually out when he comes" Jade responded. "He is fine"

"I still don't think it's a good idea to have a boyfriend" He commented and she rolled her eyes.

"I do it to seem normal, he is harmless" Jade affirmed.

"Are you sure he doesn't suspect anything?" He asked and she smiled.

"You don't trust your very own creation?" She asked back.

"My creation must know emotional attachments only weaken you" John commented and she sighed. "Do you have feelings for him?"

"No" Jade said but she was lying, she just couldn't admit to him that she actually loved Beck because she was aware of the danger she'd put him in. "You trained me well, I know what I'm doing and he is only an asset, if someone ever suspected me they'd have to do research into my friends and boyfriend and they are all clean, it makes me seem clean too"

"That's what I want to hear" John said and put the coffee down. "Anyway, it's time for training"

John and Jade went down to their basement, which they'd turned into a military-like training facility with sound proof walls. They had a shooting range, all sorts of guns, knives, ropes, chemicals and many other things. It was a place John used to constantly improve Jade's skills as a spy; he'd made her a professional sniper, he'd taught her how to injure and kill during physical combat, he'd taught her how to make bombs out of basic substances, he'd taught her to throw and use knives on her victims, he'd taught her how to poison, he'd taught her how to escape from a hostage situation, he'd taught her how to seduce her targets and he'd taught her how to read and deceive people. He'd made her unbreakable and he'd taught her the most important lesson of all: _trust no one_.

"Remember the first time you fired a gun?" He asked and she nodded.

"Crystal clear" Jade responded, she'd learned to shoot when she was around seven years old. "It's been a long time"

"I have always been curious, when did you kill for the first time? How was it? I know it happened when you were in the mansion" John commented referring to the place Jade had lived in as a child.

"I was ten years old" Jade responded. "I shot him in a place just like this" she added as she looked at the range.

"Interesting, was it hard?" He asked and she looked at him.

"No, I'd been trained for it" She commented. "We all had"

"How many people did you kill there?" John asked.

"We had many lessons and we had to do well in all of them" Jade explained and thought about it. "It must've been four or five" she said and he nodded.

"Really? I thought your body count would be higher" He said and she laughed. "It came to you quite easily when we arrived here and I brought you that homeless junkie, you didn't even hesitate"

"That was rather the point, wasn't it?" She asked as he handed her a gun and he smiled.

"That's right" He said and they quickly turned to the side as they shot at the range several times; both of them getting perfect results. "Perfect, as usual"

"As always" Jade corrected and smirked.

"You can never be too prepared" He said and took the gun from her hand, he went back to the table and grabbed a machine gun for her. "By the way, I think we might get a new job for you soon"

"You got a message?" Jade asked as she grabbed her machine gun.

"Yes, it wasn't clear but we are expecting instructions so don't make a lot of plans in the upcoming days" He said.

"I have to practice for my play" Jade commented.

"That's fine, just keep the rest of your day flexible" He said and she nodded as she got in position to shoot. "Mind your elbow…it'll help with precision" John commented as he adjusted the position of her arms on the machine gun. "Now" He ordered and she started shooting.

She finished the whole load and put the gun down to look at the results, most of the bullets were on point but there were two shots outside the head boundaries on the image, so she sighed annoyed.

"You failed" John said coldly and she rolled her eyes.

"I can see that" She responded.

"Go again" He ordered and she walked to the table to reload the machine gun. She got in position and started shooting again but she missed one shot, so she had to do it yet again. She finished three whole loads before all of her shots were perfect.

"Done" She said proudly.

"Didn't you say you were always perfect?" John asked and she rolled her eyes.

"I get it" She responded annoyed. "But it is perfect now, I missed three shots out of dozens"

"Those three shots could be the ones you need to complete a mission or to save your life, there is no room for mistakes" John affirmed coldly and she sighed. "You have to do better tomorrow"

"I will"

They trained for three hours as they did every day and went back upstairs, he reviewed papers of his current cases and she did her homework, then they had dinner and went to their rooms. Jade would text Beck goodnight and take a shower before going to sleep, while John would write some notes for his next case at court and watch some TV before going to sleep as well. It'd been another successful day in the life of the West and no one even suspected who they really were.

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**I hope you guys like the premise and the first chapter of the story! **

**PLEASE REVIEW! :)**


	2. Chapter 2

Jade walked into school the next morning and saw her friends standing by the stairs so she approached them. "Hey" Beck said nicely and gave her a kiss.

"Hi" Jade simply said.

"You look nice today" Tori complimented.

"Are you saying I don't look nice other days?" She asked back just to mess with her.

"Amm no, I just…I like your outfit" Tori said nervously.

"Leave her alone" Beck said to Jade and she simply took a sip of coffee as he put his arm around her shoulders.

"Anyway, did you guys learn your lines?" Andre questioned.

"Yes!" Cat exclaimed excitedly. "I can't wait to do the play"

"I should've gotten the lead" Jade commented.

"You got the villain" Robbie said.

"You get to make Tori miserable on stage, you should be happy" Andre added and laughed while Tori rolled her eyes.

"We need to rehearse our fight" Tori commented and Jade smiled.

"That's right" She said enthusiastically so Tori stared at her nervously. Jade wanted to scare her but the truth was she always enjoyed stage fighting, she was a very skilled fighter and it was the only thing she could do at school that made her feel like herself without actually exposing her true identity.

Alexandra had been living as Jade West for six years and she'd really developed a like for it, sometimes she wished her life were that simple and easy, but it wasn't. She went to school, hung out with friends and had a boyfriend she loved but she also had to train daily, look over her shoulder every minute of every day and be on call whenever she was needed.

When she was in school she sometimes lost sight of the reality and felt some peace but it never lasted, she had John, as she called him, to remind her who she was and whenever she got a new target, all the distractors vanished and she was immediately brought back to the ground. She was a spy and an assassin, nothing more.

"Alright girls, careful" Sikowitz said and Jade got in position so Tori took a breath and did too. In the scene Jade was supposed to attack Tori from behind, to which she would respond by hitting her face and kicking her back; Jade then had to pull her in and put her hand around her neck to strangle her.

They were doing just fine until that moment but when time for the next move came, something happened; Tori pushed Jade's hands away from her as she was supposed to and tried to reach her neck but in the heat of the moment Jade didn't properly measure her strength and let her instincts guide her. She stopped Tori's hands and in one sharp precise move she put her hand around her neck and smashed her against the mat.

"Wow!" Andre said surprised and Tori stared at Jade scared because she was actually having trouble breathing, she started hitting her arm and Jade realized she'd made a mistake so she moved her hand back.

"What the hell was that?" Sikowitz asked.

"Stage fighting" Jade said.

"That wasn't staged" Tori said as she stood up holding her neck. "You hurt me"

"You are exaggerating, I just let myself go" She responded. "And it worked, didn't it? I'm supposed to win this fight anyway"

"Yeah but not like that" Sikowitz said. "Don't come up with new moves, just stick to the choreography"

"Whatever" Jade simply said and went back to her chair, so Beck looked at her.

"You never told me you had fighting classes" He commented.

"Why do you think I did?" Jade asked.

"You don't just improvise a move like that, why didn't you tell me?" Beck asked and she looked to the side, she felt so stupid for having opened that door in his head. "You wanted to take me by surprise?" He asked and laughed so she smiled.

"I guess you could say that, I had them as a kid…part of one of those stupid summer camps but it came in handy today" Jade said.

"Cool, just try not to kill Tori next time" He said.

"I'll do my best" She responded with irony, so he laughed and she gave him a kiss feeling relieved, her secret was still safe but she knew she had to be more careful. A good agent could never be distracted and she knew that if John had been present during the fight, she would've been in a lot of trouble.

She arrived home later that day and found John in the study so she joined him, he was typing on the computer and he looked at her as soon as she walked through the door. "Hey" He said.

"Hi John, any update on my next target?" Jade asked.

"Not yet but it should be soon, I expect it to be a big fish" He commented.

"How big?" She asked.

"Don't worry, nothing you haven't handled before" John clarified and she nodded.

"Great, I'll go freshen up before training" Jade said and turned around.

"Jade, it's the 30th" He said and she turned back to him, it was true and she'd forgotten so she sighed in resignation. "Don't take long, I'll meet you downstairs"

Ten minutes later Jade went to the training room and found John already there, she didn't want to go in, but she had no choice, it was part of her preparation. The last day of each month they had a special training session, those were the days where her resilience to pain was tested and she had to endure different kinds of torture. High tolerance to pain was key in her job because they couldn't risk any of their agents talking too much if they were caught and tortured by the enemy.

"You ready?" He asked and she nodded as she walked towards him.

"Yes" She said as she put her hair in a ponytail.

John tied Jade's hands behind her back and she got on her knees in front of a full bathtub they had in the corner of the room. She looked down at the water and saw her reflection so she stared at it for a few seconds, she couldn't even recognize herself because she didn't know who she really was. She saw Jade but she also saw Alexandra, that was the constant duality in her life, she was both of them in a way but in that moment only Alexandra was there, she had to be because Jade wasn't prepared for what was coming.

"Their job is to make you think they'll kill you, you'll feel you're about to die but you must remember that's not true" John affirmed as he leaned next to her. "Your body might give up, you might feel the water in your lungs and the pain on your chest, but pain is a dream, only that, a dream and you can always escape in your mind" He said.

"Pain is a dream" Jade repeated and he nodded.

"Yes, pain is a dream, only that" He affirmed. "Your mind is strong and your mind will resist, you will not give up no matter how hard it gets"

"Pain is a dream" Jade said again and he grabbed the back of her head, she simply took a breath and he pushed her head into the water.

"Come on, resist it, resist it" John said loudly as he held her inside until she started shaking her body desperately, he waited a few seconds and pulled her out so she gasped. "They won't stop here, their job is to break your will, but your will is stronger" He affirmed and put her in the water again.

Jade could feel the oxygen leaving her body and every time he pulled her out, she took as much air in as she could but then he would proceed to leave her under water for longer and longer, until she finally couldn't take it any longer, she was almost drowning so he let her out.

"There you go" John said as she coughed out water and took deep breaths to recover.

"How did I do?" Jade asked.

"You lasted a couple more seconds than last time, but we still need to improve those numbers" John commented. "The ideal scenario would be to make them believe you drowned even if you didn't, you need to control your body spams, only then you'll be ahead"

"Okay" She said and nodded as he untied her hands.

"But other than that, it was very good…You've improved a lot" He said and she smiled.

"Thanks"

"Alright, take a few moments and then go to the chair" John ordered and she closed her eyes in frustration, that was the worst of the tortures. They could only practice those that wouldn't leave any visible marks for her friends to see, so they usually involved water or electricity.

"You're gonna fry my brain one of these days" Jade said coldly.

"You always fail this one and believe me, it's one of the first they'll try" John responded. "Get on the chair"

Jade simply sat down on the chair and took a breath as he strapped her to it, he made sure her legs, arms and torso were perfectly still and then he connected the cables to her head. "Okay, we'll start low, tap three times if you need it to stop, but remember that means giving up and giving up means dying in the hands of your enemy as a traitor, there's no worse dishonor"

"I know" Jade said nervously.

"Pain is a dream" He said.

"Pain is a dream" She repeated and he put something in her mouth to stop her from biting herself. She simply closed her eyes and felt the pain going from her head to the rest of her body, so she screamed as much as her voice allowed.

John stopped the shocks after a few seconds and Jade looked down trying to be strong, but she hated that, she much preferred to be drowned or starved as sometimes it was the case. "Are you giving up?" He asked and she shook her head. "Good" He said and turned it on again, so she closed her eyes in pain and tried to resist.

"Pain is a DREAM!" John exclaimed as he saw her struggling until she couldn't take it any longer and she started tapping with her hand, so he stopped and she started crying. "You gave up…again" He said disappointedly and removed the straps of her arms, so she took the thing off her mouth and started breathing heavily.

"I hate this" Jade said and tried to recover.

"And you think they care? They'll find what your weakness is and that's why you must have NO weaknesses" John responded coldly. "If you had been caught today, you would have confessed and all your brothers and sisters would be at risk" He said upset and she looked down.

"I'm sorry" Jade said.

"Look at me!" John demanded and she looked up at his face. "There's no place for potential traitors in our country and you know it"

"I'm not a traitor" Jade responded.

"You just selfishly chose to stop your pain instead of protecting your nation" John said and she looked to the side. "If you were in enemy hands right now, you would be telling them all you know and for what? Just so you can stop feeling? You think that will save you?" He asked.

"No" She said. "I wouldn't tell them anything"

"Yes, you would but I have news for you, not even that would stop them from torturing you more" John affirmed. "You'll tell them everything, but they'll assume you're hiding something, always, and they'll continue to torture you more and more and more until your body can't take it anymore and you'll die anyway" He commented. "Your best chance at staying alive and minimizing your pain in the long run is to resist, no matter how hard it gets, you ALWAYS must resist"

"I know" Jade responded. "I'm sorry" she added ashamedly because she knew he was right.

"Look at me, Alexandra" He demanded and she looked at him again. "You need to beat this test, it's the only thing stopping you from being unbreakable" John affirmed.

"I will" Jade affirmed.

"You will what?" He questioned. "I want to hear it, because this is not a game and you're not a child anymore, your opportunities to make mistakes are coming to an end"

"I know" Jade said and took a deep breath. "I will be unbreakable"

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**I hope you liked the chapter!**

**PLEASE REVIEW! :)**


	3. Chapter 3

John and Jade went upstairs after training and had lunch together, then she took a shower and left to go meet her friends. They would hang out at Tori's house and play cards as always, that was the nice part of her day, she liked to be Jade and she cherished the moments she spent with her friends.

"So, pizza or sushi?" Tori asked.

"Pizza!" Cat exclaimed.

"Yeah, pizza is fine" Beck said as he brought a cup of coffee for Jade and one for himself.

"I'm tired of playing cards, we should do something else" Andre suggested.

"Like what?" Robbie asked.

"I'd rather watch a movie" He responded.

"We are not watching anything Disney or crappy romcoms" Jade informed.

"I agree" Beck said.

"We aren't watching horror either" Cat said and Jade rolled her eyes.

"That's fine, we can watch something in between" Tori said. "My dad recently bought a spy thriller, that sounds fun right?"

"Spy thriller?" Beck asked.

"Yeah, about Russians and stuff like that" Tori said.

"They still make movies about that?" Jade asked. "Isn't that like super old fashioned?"

"Yeah but they are fun" Andre responded and Jade stared at him emotionlessly, _fun_ wasn't the word that came to her mind when she thought about her life.

"We can watch that" Beck said and looked at Jade to see her opinion.

"Sure, whatever" She simply said and they went to the living room; Tori simply played the movie and they all watched it, most of them were entertained but Jade found it laughable, the movie was completely based on propaganda and stereotypes. The Russians in the story were the villains and they were portrayed in a cheesy way, which made them seem incompetent and inherently evil, even the language was wrong and Jade just kept cringing inside whenever they tried to speak Russian.

"Do you guys think something like that could happen today?" Robbie asked.

"Of course not, this is total bullshit" Jade responded.

"Yeah, Robbie, it's a movie" Beck added.

"It happened back in the cold war but we had less technology then, now it'd be so easy to catch a person who's pretending to be someone they are not" Andre affirmed and Jade only sighed as she stared at the screen and smiled inside, it was fun for her to play them even if she didn't always admit it.

"Yeah, that makes sense" Robbie said and they continued watching; there was a scene of an American CIA agent interrogating a Russian spy, who had a very strong accent, so she rolled her eyes again. She knew those movies were meant to be easy to follow and enjoy for Americans, but she found it annoying that people like her were portrayed as idiots. However, that also gave them an advantage because no one would ever suspect her, or any of her 'siblings' for that matter.

Jade was watching the movie but then she felt her phone vibrating, so she looked at it and saw a text from John, which said to come home and she knew that he meant _right away_, so she stood up.

"Where are you going?" Beck asked.

"My dad wants me home, I forgot he has this dinner with his colleagues and he needs me there" Jade said annoyed. "I'll see you at school on Monday" she simply added.

"I can drive you" Beck offered.

"That's fine, I brought my car" Jade said and smiled, she simply kissed Beck goodbye and left the house.

She drove back home and found John in his study with a special detector, he did a sweep in the whole house looking for any potential microphone or camera every day, but it always turned out to be clean and he was just finishing a second check because he and Jade needed to talk about sensitive matters.

"What happened?" Jade asked as she stepped into the room.

"Where were you?" He asked and she sat down in front of his desk.

"Watching a movie about us" Jade said and laughed. "I forgot how dumb we are made to be, it was funny" she added in a fake Russian accent and he chuckled.

"Good" John said.

"So, what was the rush? I had to say you had a dinner tonight" She commented.

"We have your new target" John informed and she leaned forward on the desk a little.

"Who is it?" Jade asked. "There's been so much secrecy around it, I'm excited to find out" she admitted.

"There you go" He said and turned around the laptop to show her the screen. There was a photograph of a couple coming out of a black van, they looked about 37 years old and they seemed important because there were guards around them.

"Who is he?" Jade asked.

"A senator but he is not your target, his wife is" John informed and she nodded.

"When do I hit?" She questioned and he chuckled.

"No, you don't get it, you won't kill her…You'll seduce her" He explained and she smiled surprised, that was a change. Jade usually only seduced men, then she drugged them and she got what she needed from them, she usually only had to go that far but some of her targets were harder, so Jade had actually had to sleep with some of them. When that was the case, she made sure to have proof of it and then blackmailed them into giving her the information she needed, by threatening to make the affair public and go to the police, she'd been doing that since she was fourteen so she'd been underage all those times and she could claim rape. All the men were high-profile politicians, so they ended up giving in, and when they were too dangerous to let loose, she simply finished them right there.

"Wow, that's new" Jade said.

"I know, I figured you'd be excited, you like a challenge" He responded and she chuckled. "And we know she's got a taste for younger women with your physique, so you'll meet her and you'll make her fall for you"

"Okay, what for?" Jade asked.

"Her husband is in charge of a national security program that could affect us, it's not public information but we know he shares it with her" John explained.

"I'm not complaining but, why don't I seduce him instead?" She questioned.

"You should be able to respond that question, think" He demanded coldly and she thought about it for a few seconds.

"He is a public figure involved in anti-Russian laws, having an affair with him could put me on the radar of the government if we are caught" Jade explained and he smiled. "Having an affair with his wife gets me the same info with less exposure"

"That's right" He said and she nodded. "But you shouldn't have even asked that question"

"I was distracted" Jade simply said.

"You've been a little slow lately" He affirmed and she rolled her eyes. "You need to be on top of your game all the time, Jade, remember there's no time for distractions and no room for mistakes, especially not in a mission like this, Katherine is not an idiot and she'll see through you if you're not careful"

"I will be careful, you don't have to worry about it" Jade responded and he nodded.

"This is gonna take longer than your usual targets, so get to it starting tonight, she'll be at a bar looking for a girl to hook up with as she always does" John explained. "She usually goes for one night stands only but you have to make sure she can't stop seeing you after tonight, we need her to trust you and you need to maintain a relationship with her, this is an evolving process and we need all the details as they come"

"Got it" Jade said with a smirk and he handed her an envelope.

"Here's all you need, get ready and get to work"

Jade dressed up and went to the bar she'd meet her target at, she took a table and simply sat down waiting for her. Minutes later she saw the woman walking into the place as well, she was blonde, tall and slender; she was attractive and it was clear she was known in the place because the bar tender gave her a drink before she even asked for it.

Jade knew Katherine had to approach her first because that would guarantee her trust later on, so she didn't make any move at her, but she walked over to the bar, asked for another martini and started looking into her purse. Jade was really attractive as well, so she'd caught Katherine's attention right away.

"Damn it…" Jade muttered as she looked into her things.

"Is there a problem?" Katherine asked and Jade smiled on the inside, _bingo!_

"Sorry for the disturbance" She responded and chuckled embarrassedly. "I can't find my wallet"

"Don't worry, I'd be the same way" The woman responded and stood up to get closer to her.

"I must've forgotten it in the restaurant or something" Jade said and smiled as she shook her head. "What an idiot" She added.

"Your martini, Miss" The bartender said as he handed her the glass.

"I'm sorry, I think I won't be having it" Jade said ashamedly. "I lost my wallet"

"Oh nonsense, she'll have it" Katherine said and grabbed the glass for her. "Take it, it's on me"

"No, you really don't have to" Jade responded.

"I know but I want to" She said and Jade sighed as she took the glass pretending to be embarrassed.

"Thank you, I'll pay you back I promise" She said and sat down so the woman did too.

"Don't worry about it, it's my pleasure" Katherine commented and smiled so Jade smiled back. "Tell me about you, what do you do?"

"I am an artist" Jade informed.

"Really? What is it that you do?" She questioned.

"Singing, acting and writing, a little bit of everything really" Jade said and the woman nodded.

"And what about your free time? You hang out with your boyfriend?" Katherine asked and the answer was yes but Jade only laughed.

"No, I don't have a boyfriend" She lied.

"I can't believe that, a beautiful girl like you must be popular with the guys" The woman commented.

"Yes, but let's just say they're not my 'type'" Jade said and Katherine smirked.

"What's your type then?" She asked.

"I think it's my turn to ask some questions" Jade responded and the woman chuckled.

"Alright, go ahead"

"What do you do?" She asked.

"I'm an assistant" Katherine said and Jade knew she was lying, probably to avoid a gold digger.

"Are you married?" She asked.

"I guess you could say that but I'm free" The woman explained and Jade looked at her confused. "My husband and I don't get along"

"I'm sorry to hear that" Jade said.

"Don't be" Katherine said as she put her hand on Jade's arm and stroked it softly. "I'm not" she added and smiled so Jade smirked a little.

"Any children?" She asked.

"No" The woman said and Jade nodded, that was true. "You have beautiful eyes"

"Thank you" Jade responded and looked down blushing. "So do you" she added.

"Thank you" Katherine said and put her hand on Jade's leg as she leaned forward a little. "Would you like to talk somewhere else?" She said closer to her face and Jade smiled, she looked down awkwardly and thought about it for a few seconds.

"Sure" She finally said.

"Great" The woman responded and they stood up, Katherine left some money on the bar and they walked out.

"Where do you wanna go?" Jade asked.

"I have an apartment nearby, I used to live there when I was single and it's my safe place now" Katherine commented. "Let's go there"

Katherine drove Jade to her apartment and it was indeed a very nice place, it was obvious an assistant wouldn't be able to afford it but Jade didn't want to seem intrusive, in the end she already knew Katherine was a CEO married to a high profile politician.

"Wow…nice view" Jade said as she looked out the gigantic window.

"I know, it's my favorite thing about this place" Katherine said as she joined her next to the window and put her hand on Jade's waist. "Come, I'll make some drinks" she said as she made her walk to the kitchen island and Jade took a seat.

"So, you usually bring strangers into your house?" Jade asked curiously and Katherine laughed.

"Not really but I wanted to get to know you better, I have a feeling we'll get along" She commented and Jade smiled. "Here, cheers" the woman said as she gave her a glass of champagne and Jade grabbed it. "You tell me now, do you usually go to strangers' houses?"

"I don't get invited by beautiful strangers often, so no" Jade responded and the woman smiled before they both took a sip of champagne.

"A lucky night for both of us then" Katherine said and Jade smirked. "Let's go to the sofa, it's more comfortable" She said and they walked to the long comfy sofa with view of the city.

"So, tell me more about you" Katherine said as she rested her head on her arm and stared at Jade, who was right next to her.

"I love hot baths, playing the piano and…talking to beautiful women" Jade commented as she looked at the woman's lips and Katherine sighed as she looked at her seductively.

"We have that in common" Katherine simply said and leaned forward to kiss her, so Jade kissed her back and held her face softly.

The slow kiss turned into a make out session and Katherine slowly made Jade lean back on the sofa, she moved her hands down Jade's body and stroked it as she unbuttoned her shirt. Jade was just letting the moment flow and thinking about what she'd do next, that part of the job was easy for her at that point and it wasn't the first time she'd done it, but part of her always felt guilty because she was cheating on Beck.

They continued kissing and then went to the bedroom, Jade took Katherine's clothes off as well and the woman pushed her back on the bed so she smiled excitedly. Jade had learned how to be a formidable lover with men and women, she knew exactly what to do and she did it; she made sure that after that night, Katherine wouldn't be able to live without her.

* * *

**This is a very "adult" story, so...don't be too surprised at anything Jade does, she is supposed to be a spy after all. **

**I hope you enjoyed the chapter!**

**PLEASE REVIEW :)**


	4. Chapter 4

Katherine and Jade continued the affair, they usually met up for drinks or dinner and then went to the apartment to spend more time together; most of the time they ended up in bed but other days they just talked and that's exactly what Jade wanted, she needed to get the information and the clock was ticking.

Their relationship had evolved very quickly and Katherine trusted Jade after all those weeks, so she gave her a key to the apartment. "Hey babe" Jade said when Katherine stepped inside.

"Hey" She said not so enthusiastically and Jade walked towards her with a chocolate strawberry.

"I made some snacks" Jade commented and put the strawberry in her mouth, she ate it and Jade kissed her. "What's the matter?" She asked as she put her arms around Katherine's neck.

"It's Brandon, he's making some stupid choices and dragging me with him" Katherine commented and then smiled as she stroked Jade's face. "These moments are truly the best part of my day"

"What did he do now?" Jade asked as they walked to the sofa.

"Remember the new policy I told you about?" Katherine asked, at that point she'd already confessed the truth to Jade and she could talk without reserves.

"Yeah, any problem?" Jade asked and she took a breath.

"He is not handling it the way he should, we need to be tougher" Katherine commented. "The danger is real, governments like North Korea, Iran and Russia are a threat and we can't take it lightly" she said.

"How do you know they are threats? Has something happened?" Jade questioned.

"Yes, and that's why I'm upset" Katherine said. "A Russian defector showed up at the CIA today and confessed to being a spy, he said he was part of the TA-12 program and that there are hundreds of them infiltrated in the country" she informed and Jade felt her heart beating faster, she hadn't seen that coming.

"Oh my god, are you serious?" Jade questioned faking shock. "But how is that even possible?"

"This guy told them they are trained from infancy and then they take over the lives of American citizens" Katherine explained.

"That sounds…difficult, I'd never heard of something like that" Jade commented.

"I know it sounds improbable, but I firmly believe it's true" Katherine affirmed. "And my stupid husband didn't take it seriously, he said the guy was selling smoke, he doesn't understand that the Russians are a plague and we can never be too careful" She responded upset and Jade just stared at her nodding but laughing inside, that woman had no idea who she was talking to.

"So, what happened? Did they let him go?" Jade questioned, that was a real concern for her.

"No, he is still at the office because he asked for protection, but they'll let him loose because they don't believe him" Katherine said.

"And why don't you get other names out of him? He must know other agents, that way everyone will believe it" She commented.

"He told them they don't have access to other spies, he said he once bumped into one he recognized from their time in Russia but that's it" The woman informed.

"And did you go find him?" Jade asked.

"It's a she, he said her name was Alexandra Romanova" Katherine informed and Jade felt her blood going cold, only one thought was in her mind: that man was dead. "But Brandon didn't buy it, he says the guy is just looking for a meal ticket and he won't dig deeper into it"

"What's the guy's name?" Jade asked curiously.

"Here it's David Woods but he claims to be named Petro Chekav" Katherine said and chuckled. "Brandon says he just looked up Russian names online to sell the story"

"You shouldn't worry too much about it, maybe he is right" Jade commented. "Those names certainly sound like something you'd find on a cheesy spy novel" she added and laughed.

"The names are not relevant, the facts are!" Katherine exclaimed. "I believe he is telling the truth, he was terrified in the tape Brandon showed me"

"And what do your husband's colleagues think?" Jade asked.

"They just follow his lead, at least that's what he says but I haven't spoken to many of them recently" The woman commented.

"And you don't think your husband knows what he is doing?" Jade asked.

"He is an idiot, he is there because of me and now he won't listen to what I have to say" Katherine said. "He is too soft for the job, he thinks that the the policy is okay as it is, but it needs to expand, it needs to include other threats such as this, I'm sure those snakes are walking among us even if he refuses to believe it"

"Well, try not to think about it for now" Jade said and smiled as she got closer to her. "It's just you and me tonight, forget everything else" she added and removed the robe to reveal her naked chest, she leaned forward, put Katherine's hand on her breast and started kissing her, so Katherine kissed her back and they went to the bedroom.

Next day Jade arrived in school straight from the apartment and found her friends by the sodas machine, so she approached them. "Morning" Beck said and gave her a kiss on the lips. "You smell good, I hadn't sensed this perfume in you before" he added and she knew Katherine's sent had impregnated her clothes when they made out that morning.

"It's new" Jade said and smiled.

"I like it" He said and kissed her again. Jade had never been in touch with her emotions because she'd been trained not to feel anything for anyone, therefore lying right to his face wasn't hard. However, that didn't change the fact she actually loved him and even though she lied to him 90% of the time, she didn't want him to leave her, she knew it was unfair to him but she refused to let him go, he was the only person who made her feel she belonged somewhere and he'd shown her that life could be more than murder, sex and lies.

"So, the theatre is gonna be closed for renovations for the show, can we rehearse the play at your house? It's the biggest one" Tori said to Jade.

"Today?" Jade asked.

"Yes, and tomorrow and basically every day until opening night" Andre responded and she sighed annoyed.

"Can it be somewhere else?" She asked.

"Is there a problem at your house?" Beck asked back.

"Yeah, I don't like people in it" She said sincerely.

"Please, it's the biggest one and we have space to practice everything" Cat commented. "Please!" she added and Jade rolled her eyes, she knew John wouldn't be pleased but she didn't have any real excuse.

"Fine" Jade simply said, they'd been to her house before but never for too long and she knew their presence would disturb her work with Katherine if she wasn't careful.

"Yay!" Tori said happily and Jade rolled her eyes.

"Let's go to class"

Jade arrived home later that day and her friends came with her, John was in his study reading as usual but as soon as he heard the door opening, he stepped outside because he needed to talk to Jade about Katherine.

"Hello" John said when he saw the gang.

"Hey dad, we'll be rehearsing a play for a few weeks" Jade informed and he nodded.

"Very well" He said and turned around.

"Dad, can I talk to you?" Jade asked, she needed to tell him about the defector.

"I don't have time now" John responded and the gang looked at each other. "It'll be other day" He said and went into his study expecting Jade to follow him, they just needed to keep up the act for the gang.

"Just go to the garden, I'll meet you there" Jade said and waited for them to be outside, then she sighed and went into the study as well.

"What the hell? We can't have your friends snooping around the house" John commented.

"I had no excuse and they are harmless, relax" Jade said. "We have bigger problems right now"

"What happened?" He asked worriedly.

"A TA-12 defector" She said and his eyes wide opened. "Katherine told me her husband didn't buy it but she is confident he was telling the truth, she is determined to make the security policies harder on us"

"And you think she'll convince Brandon?" John asked.

"Maybe, he is there because of her and her money, she knows his colleagues and she is going to keep pushing until they listen" Jade said. "This is not good for us"

"Fuck" John said worriedly.

"And that's not all" Jade said and sighed so he stared at her confused, she seemed concerned.

"What else?" He questioned.

"The bastard told them about me, he must've seen me somewhere and he told them my real name" Jade informed and John took a breath as he thought about it and tried to stay calm.

"Okay, this is not good but we can still fix it" He affirmed. "As long as he doesn't ID you, we are safe"

"We need to stop him before he gets the chance" Jade responded.

"Name?" He questioned.

"David Woods, formerly known as Petro Chekav" She informed and he nodded.

"Don't worry, he won't be a problem for long" John said. "I'll make a plan"

"Good"

"Is that all for now?" He asked.

"Yes, we talked about that and then I made her feel better, it's better for us if she is in a good mood" Jade said and smirked, so he chuckled.

"Well done" He said and sat down. "Go with them and don't let them out of your sight" he said referring to the gang and she simply walked out of the study.

The gang rehearsed the play outside and later that day Jade went to see Katherine again, she was her full-time mission and she couldn't lose sight of it. They had a nice meal but the woman had to go home to her husband, so Jade returned home too and found John in the living room.

"Any news?" He asked.

"No but I expect to have some tomorrow, she must be trying to convince Brandon as we speak, that's why she didn't sleep with me tonight" Jade said and sat down next to him. "You?"

"Yes, I have found our little friend David" He said and she smiled.

"That was fast" Jade said. "So, what's the plan?"

"I believe he might want to talk to you, in the end he remembered you so we'll make sure you 'bump' into him again" John explained. "You'll be happy to see him, you'll say how sick you are of this job and make him trust you, get all the information out of him and then make sure it looks like suicide"

"Easy" Jade said.

"This is a trained agent just like you" He commented.

"I'm better, you made me better" Jade affirmed and he nodded.

"Yes I did, but you still have to be careful, he is like a scared rat right now so he'll be alert and you need to be quick" John said and she smiled.

"Don't worry, he'll be dead before you know it"

Jade went to school next day and joined her friends in Sikowitz's classroom, they were chatting as usual and Beck smiled as soon as he saw her. "Hey" He said.

"Hi" Jade responded and gave him a peck.

"Everything okay with your dad? He didn't look happy yesterday" Andre commented.

"He is never happy, at least not with me" Jade simply said. "But it's fine, I don't care"

"Can we still rehearse at your house?" Tori questioned nervously.

"Yeah" She responded. "But not today"

"Why not?" Cat asked.

"My dad has guests coming over" Jade lied, the truth was she needed to take care of Petro.

"That's fine, so we have all day" Beck said as he put his arm around her shoulders. "What if we go to the movies?"

"Yeah!" Tori exclaimed.

"I can't, I have to be with them today" Jade informed.

"You have to be with your dad's guests?" Beck asked confused. "Since when?"

"Since he is writing an article for a magazine and he wants to keep up appearances" Jade responded and rolled her eyes. "It's stupid but he told me to be there and I can't exactly say no"

"You've been really busy for a few weeks now, we barely hang out" Beck commented.

"I know and I hate it" Jade said and she was being honest about that, she much preferred to be with him than with Katherine but she didn't have a choice. "But this is a big deal for him so he wants everything to be perfect, including me"

"What do you mean? Is that why you've been busy?" Beck questioned and she nodded.

"Yes, he is preparing me for the world to see" Jade said with irony.

"But you're his daughter, why doesn't he just show you as you are?" Tori asked.

"Because I'm not what he would like me to be" Jade simply said. "He wishes he had a stiff and boring daughter who would follow in his footsteps and become a lawyer, so he could brag about how smart his kid is and how she is going to be just like him" She added annoyed.

"Yeah, that's not you" Andre commented.

"I am aware" She responded.

"So, he is making you act like that now?" Beck asked.

"Yeah, he's been lecturing me about laws and history and all the stuff I'm supposed to say at the interviews to impress those mummies" Jade said and Cat giggled.

"Mummies…" She whispered and Tori chuckled as well.

"That's what they are, a bunch of old boring men just like him" Jade said. "I even have to talk about the univiersities I'm supposed to attend because I love the idea of being a judge like my dad" she added sarcastically.

"That sucks" Robbie said.

"Yes, your dad shouldn't be making you do this" Beck said annoyed and she sighed.

"Yeah, well…you can't choose your family, can you?"

* * *

**I hope you enjoyed the chapter ;)**

**PLEASE REVIEW! **


	5. Chapter 5

Later that day Jade went to the mall where her target had seen her and immediately spot him in the food court, he was all alone eating a burger and looking around nervously. She simply walked to a shop near him and waited for him to approach her, which didn't take long.

"Alexandra?" He said as soon as he saw her but she didn't look at him, they were trained not to respond to their real names and she knew that he would be suspicious if she reacted too quickly. "Alexandra" David said and grabbed her arm, so she turned around and her eyes wide opened.

"P…Petro?" She whispered surprised and he smiled.

"You remember" He said and she walked aside so he went with her.

"What are you doing here?" Jade asked.

"I have lived here for years, I left two years after you did" He informed and looked around. "We can't talk here, let's go somewhere else"

"You know we can't interact" Jade whispered. "It's nice to see you but we can't be seen together"

"Please, it's important" David said and she sighed.

"Alright, where do you want to go?" Jade asked and he grabbed her hand.

"Follow me" He said and she went him, he took her to his apartment, which was nearby, but it wasn't anything like her house, it was a small place.

"This is where you live?" She questioned.

"I left my other house, they would find me easily" He said and she looked at him confused.

"Who's they?" Jade asked knowing the answer, they had found him anyway.

"The people who raised us" He responded.

"Why are you hiding from them? Are you a traitor now?" Jade asked confused and upset and he sighed.

"There's a lot you don't know" He said. "We are in danger, all of us…The TA-12 program had always been a state secret but that changed"

"What are you talking about?" She questioned.

"You think we are the only spies in the world? No, the Americans have spies in Russia too and they found out about the program" David informed. "And they did not like it, they made a deal with someone in our government and they have been hunting us down for months, three of our brothers are dead"

"What?" Jade asked genuinely shocked. "You mean our own government gave us up?"

"Not all of it but some people did, they sold us out" David informed. "I saw the reports, they've been digging and they have found some of us, it's only a matter of time before they get us all, that's why I went to the CIA, I wanted protection"

"But why didn't you tell your agent instead? They can track down the traitors in Russia" Jade commented. "You came to the people who want us dead!"

"No, you don't understand" David affirmed. "These killings are out the record, it's not an official matter…These are private contractors on behalf of the government who made a deal with some Russians in exchange for names of American spies as well, a life for a life"

"So, what you're saying is that these mercenaries will get to kill us by giving up the names of their own people to the kremlin?" Jade asked and he nodded.

"Yes, the traitors gave us up for a bigger fish, they need to eliminate the threat at home" He said and Jade looked down worriedly. She had not seen that coming.

"I don't get it, what's the point of all this? Why not just let us all go? That way neither side would really lose" Jade commented.

"We are just puns in a chess game, Alex, they don't care about us and we are a liability" He affirmed. "It doesn't matter that we and the American spies die, what matters is that the threat will be diminished on both sides"

"Are you sure about this?" She asked.

"Yes, my bet was to tell the CIA everything and hopefully save my life, but they didn't believe me, or maybe they are in on this too" Petro commented.

"Oh my god" Jade said pretending to be shocked.

"I committed treason and our government won't overlook it, now it's not just the mercenaries, I have our people against me too" He said and looked down. "It's only a matter of time before they kill me, but I needed to tell someone else what I know, you may still have a chance"

"A chance at what?" She asked.

"At a long peaceful life, a life where you don't have to look over your shoulder every second of the day in case someone wants to kill you, a life where you can marry and have a family, a simple life" David commented as he sat down on his bed and she sat down next to him.

"You know we could never have that life" Jade responded but deep inside she shared that wish. "We are what we are and that won't change"

"I can't have it, I had to leave my girlfriend because she was in danger" He informed sadly "But maybe you could" He said as he looked at her and sighed. "Wouldn't you like to be in peace? I know I would" He added and Jade felt bad for him, part of her wanted to let him go but she refused to fail, she had never done it and she wasn't willing to let her feelings get in the way of her mission.

"I know" Jade said as she put her arm on his shoulder to comfort him so he looked down sadly, she'd previously uncovered a tiny needle on her ring, which would immobilize him. "You'll be in peace soon" she said and he immediately looked up but she quickly put the needle in the back of his neck and he stared at her shocked, he tried to stand up but he realized he couldn't, he couldn't move at all.

"This isn't personal Petro, but a traitor is a traitor no matter the circumstances" Jade said coldly as she stood up and looked in his room for the gun she knew he had. He could only move his eyes, so he was staring at her fearfully. "Don't worry, I'll make sure your sacrifice is worth it…Our brothers and sisters will be safe" She added and found the gun strapped to the bed, so she grabbed it and charged it.

Jade simply put the gun in his hand and made him aim it at his head, she placed him on the side of the bed staring at the window and sighed. "I'm sorry" She said sincerely as she stared at him but she didn't stop, she simply put her finger over his and pulled the trigger, the body dropped on the bed, the blood on the wall started streaming down and she moved back to examine everything about the scene; it did look like a suicide so she nodded to herself.

Jade had been wearing gloves the whole time and she'd made sure no one had seen her, so she simply left the apartment and went back home. It had been yet another successful lie to her friends, another successful mission, another successful day as nothing but the assassin she was. However, Jade thought a lot about what the guy had said and she couldn't help to be afraid, she didn't want her current life to be over but she didn't want her friends or Beck to get hurt because of her.

A few days later they were all rehearsing the play in Jade's living room as usual and John wasn't home so Jade had the whole house for her and her friends, but that also meant being more careful because she had to keep track of all five of them at all times.

"Let's do the fight again" Beck said. "But be careful" He added and looked at Jade so she smiled to herself.

"Sure" She said sarcastically to scare Tori.

"Seriously, don't do what you did last time…it hurt" Tori said nervously.

"Stop crying and get in position" Jade responded and Tori took a breath to relax, they were in the garden so all the others took a seat in the chairs and the fight began. They practiced it three times in a row and they were good, but they still needed to make it faster, so they drank some water and decided to do it again.

"I'm going to the bathroom" Cat informed but Jade and Tori were fighting so Jade didn't hear her and she went inside by herself. The closest bathroom was down the hallway so went there but when she came out, she realized the door in the corner, which was usually closed, was slightly open.

Cat was curious so she opened it and saw a staircase leading to what seemed to be a basement, she walked down carefully but it was dark, so she kept touching the wall until she found light switch. She turned the lights on and saw another door made of metal, so she got confused.

"What is this?" She asked herself as she examined the big door and tried to open it, it was really heavy so it took her a few seconds, but she finally did it and caught her breath once she was inside, but as soon as she looked around her mouth dropped and her eyes wide opened.

The place was unlike anything Cat had ever seen before, there was a shooting range with dummies of people, there were lots of weapons, there was a square mat for physical combat with some tools in it, there was a bathtub in the corner, a bed and a sofa in the other corner, there was a chair with cables and a monitor next to it, there was a mannequin with several marks on its body pointing to lethal spots and there was even a special smaller room with lots of different chemicals in it. The whole place seemed taken out of a horror movie and Cat didn't know what to do, so she just froze.

"That was better, you just need to do the drop faster" Andre commented when the girls were done.

"Great" Tori said and caught her breath.

"Hey, where is Cat?" Jade asked as soon as she realized her short friend wasn't around.

"She went to the bathroom" Beck informed and Jade looked to the side worriedly.

"Oh okay" She said casually. "I'll go get some more water" She said as she grabbed her glass.

"Can you bring me some, please?" Beck asked and she nodded as she went back into the house, but she simply left the glasses on the table and started looking around.

"Cat?" Jade said as she made her way to the nearest bathroom but when she arrived, the door was open and the lights were off, so she got confused. "Cat?" She said louder but she got no answer and when she turned around, she realized the door to the basement was open so her eyes wide opened.

"No, no, no…" She whispered and immediately ran downstairs, Cat had left the metal door open so Jade walked inside and saw her just standing there.

"What the hell are you doing down here?" Jade asked upset as she grabbed Cat's arm aggressively and turned her around to face her.

"Awww…" Cat said in pain and Jade looked at her hand grabbing Cat's arm, she simply let go of it and took a breath to remain calm.

"I asked you a question, what are you doing here?" Jade asked again.

"I…I wanted to see the basement" Cat responded nervously.

"You shouldn't have come, the door was closed for a reason" Jade responded coldly and Cat looked around.

"What are all these things? Why do you have them in your basement?" She asked confused.

"It's my dad's, he likes guns…and stuff" Jade quickly lied. "I'm not allowed in here, let's go back to the garden before he comes home" she said and grabbed her hand but Cat didn't move.

"Is he gonna shoot me for coming in?" She asked scared and Jade rolled her eyes.

"No, of course not" She said.

"Oh, thank god" Cat said in relief but Jade realized she had to make sure her friend didn't open her mouth, so she sighed and looked down faking concern.

"I mean, I hope not" Jade said and Cat stared at her terrified. "Listen Cat, my dad is a very…reserved person, he doesn't like it when people come into his private spaces"

"But I…I didn't know" Cat responded.

"I know but that doesn't make any difference to him" Jade commented. "I don't think he would hurt you, but it's better if you don't say a word about this place, just pretend you never saw it" she said and smiled at her terrified friend.

"He is gonna kill me, right?" Cat asked as some tears streamed down her cheeks.

"He doesn't have to know you were here, I won't tell him, I would be in trouble too" Jade commented. "So just promise me you won't say a word about this to ANYONE" She demanded. "Because I won't tell him, but we don't know if someone else might…"

"Like who?" Cat asked as Jade wiped her friend's tears away.

"I don't know, Cat, anyone…that's why it's better not to say it" Jade said and smiled nicely.

"Not even to our friends?" She asked.

"Especially not our friends" Jade affirmed. "You wouldn't want to put them in danger too, right? Imagine if they ended up dead because of you" she commented and Cat's eyes wide opened.

"Dead?" Cat questioned.

"Yeah, can you imagine?" Jade asked back faking mortification. "What kind of friend would you be if they died because you couldn't keep a secret?" She asked and Cat thought about it scared as she looked down so Jade smirked satisfied.

"I won't tell anyone" Cat affirmed and Jade nodded.

"You promise?" She asked.

"I promise"

* * *

**;)**

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	6. Chapter 6

Cat kept the secret because she was scared of what Jade had said and things remained calm for a few days. However, one day Jade was about to take off to school when she saw a note on her car. It read _Hello Alexandra _in Russian and as soon as she saw it her blood went cold.

"No, no, no" She said nervously and went back into the house with it. "John! JOHN! " She shouted and he walked out of the kitchen confused.

"Weren't you leaving?" He asked and she showed him the paper.

"They found us, they know who I am" Jade said nervously and he checked the note. "It was on my car"

"Okay…" He said and then noticed she was really nervous. "What's our number one rule?" He asked and she sighed.

"Fear is an emotion, and emotions always get in the way of intelligent thinking" Jade said and he nodded. "But you can't tell me this doesn't concern you"

"Don't worry, we'll have whoever wrote this in the training room today and they'll sing like a bird" John commented. "Go to school, I'll take care"

"No, I wanna be here" Jade said

"No, go to school, we don't need suspicions" He ordered and Jade rolled her eyes but she knew he was right so she simply left. She arrived at school and the classes went by normally but she couldn't help to be anxious, she knew that when a spy's cover was blown everyone involved with them was in danger.

"I'm so hungry" Cat commented as they walked to the cafeteria.

"Me too" Tori said and they put their things on a table. "I want a burrito"

"Let's go" Andre said and they started walking to the shop while Jade sat down.

"Do you want anything?" Beck asked.

"Coffee" Jade said and he nodded as he walked away but he bumped into a young man.

"Sorry" Beck said casually and continued walking but the man simply stared at him and then turned to Jade.

"привет Александра" The man said and Jade immediately looked up at him; he looked about 30 years old and he was tall and strong. "I'm glad to see you still remember your name and your language"

"Who are you and what do you want?" Jade asked coldly.

"We don't have a lot of time before your friends and your boyfriend come back" The man said and looked around. "Pretty good cover you got here, uh? Who could ever suspect a high school student in art school?"

"What do you want?" Jade asked coldly again.

"Hey, no need to be so defensive…I'm on your side here" The man said. "There are people after you and they'll find you just like I did, it's a matter of days"

"Nice touch, leaving the note on my car" Jade said and he looked at her confused.

"That wasn't me" He said and chuckled "It looks like they found you too" He commented.

"And your point is?" She questioned.

"You need to be ready" He said.

"Who are you?" Jade asked.

"The friend of an old friend of yours" The man responded. "David Woods or as you may remember him, Petro" He said. "He is dead now, courtesy of your government" He commented and Jade realized he didn't know she'd done it.

"How can you be so sure about that? How do I know you didn't kill him yourself?" Jade questioned.

"You don't, you'll have to trust me" The man said. "My name is Robert by the way"

"Is that your real name?" She asked and he laughed.

"Right, I forgot you people can choose" He said. "Yes, it's my only name…and I'm not Russian if that's what you're thinking, I do know a few words though"

"Then what are you? Why are you doing this?" Jade questioned coldly.

"I'm a concerned citizen…who also happens to work within the intelligence community" Robert said. "I know you're TA-12 and I know about your past, you're a threat to this country"

"You want me dead" Jade said with a slight smirk.

"I want to offer you a new job" He said. "My colleagues think you all need to be exterminated as the plague you are"

"Good to know" Jade said as she pulled down the lock of the gun inside her bag and he smiled.

"I think differently" He added and discreetly moved his jacket to the side revealing a gun as well. "But if you insist, we can make this a scene no one will ever forget" He threatened and she stared at him coldly. "That's not good for either of us, so just listen" He said and covered his gun again.

"Be quick or I might lose my patience" Jade responded.

"You are inside the kremlin and you know how they operate, what they will do and how they'll do it, we could use that information" He commented. "I think you could be a really valuable asset to us"

"And what's in there for me?" Jade asked. "Treason is paid with your life in this business"

"Your own people sold you out to us" Robert commented. "Your options are dying by my colleagues and the Russians or joining me, proving you can be on our side and live"

"You can't hide from us, I can't either" Jade responded and saw the gang coming back. "Thanks for your help"

"I'll be in touch" He said and handed her a little card as he walked away.

"Who was that?" Beck asked as he sat down next to her and put the coffee on the table.

"A producer, he said he saw me on that TV show we did years back and he'd like me to audition for a commercial" Jade said and read a text on her phone, it was from John and he'd found the person behind the note.

"Cool!" Tori exclaimed.

"Anyway, I'm going now…I have a dentist appointment" Jade said and stood up. "Bye"

The gang had to rehearse the play and Jade hadn't cancelled it that day, so after school they all went to her house. They knocked on the door, but no one came so they looked at each other

"It looks like they are not home" Tori said and then grabbed the knob to see if the door was open, which it was. "Oh!"

"Or maybe they didn't hear us" Andre said and they walked inside slowly.

"Hello?" Tori said loudly.

"Jade, we are here!" Cat exclaimed but there was only silence in the house.

"They are not here, we should go" Robbie said.

"Maybe she is in the bas…" Cat started and looked around nervously. "Basement" she whispered and they looked at her confused.

"Why do you whisper?" Tori asked.

"I can't tell you" She responded nervously and looked down.

"Uh?" Robbie said.

"It's a secret" Cat affirmed.

"Why would a basement be a secret?" Beck questioned and she looked at them debating whether to tell them or not. She didn't want to put them in danger, but she also wanted them to know too and neither Jade nor her dad were home, so she felt it was okay.

"You have to keep the secret" Cat responded and they looked at each other.

"Sure" Beck simply said and she nodded.

"Come, I'll show you" Cat said and they nodded, they thought she was making things up as usual so they followed her all the way downstairs and saw the big door.

"Well, this door is unusual but it's Jade's house so…" Tori said and they chuckled.

"Open it" Cat said and Beck simply pushed the door open, it was heavy but it wasn't too hard for him. They were all expecting to see a dark empty room or something similar that would've scared Cat, but as soon as they saw what was inside, their mouths dropped.

"Oh my god, what is this place?" Tori asked confused as they stepped inside and looked around.

"Jade said it's her dad's" Cat responded.

"Why would he need this? I thought he was a judge" Andre commented and sighed as he stared at all the weapons. There was one on the table and he grabbed it. "Damn…" he said.

"Leave that there" Tori ordered and took it from him to put it back.

"I think we should leave" Beck said, he also found the place unsettling and he didn't want to be in it when Jade arrived. "We are not supposed to be here, we'll call Jade later"

"Yeah, I agree" Tori said nervously as she looked around and embraced herself because it was cold.

"Sh, sh" Robbie said and they all remained quiet for a few seconds, only to hear steps approaching.

"Oh god" Andre said scared.

"What do we do?" Cat whispered terrified and Tori spotted a closet across the room, so she ran towards it and opened the door, it was full of more strange looking tools but it was big so they all got inside and closed the door just in time before John and Jade arrived.

"Come on, Daniel, don't make us ask you again" John said as he and Jade dragged a beaten-up man into the room and put him on the shooting range floor, on top of a big plastic mat.

"I already told you everything" The man said and the gang looked at each other confused; the door of the closet had folding curtains in it so they were watching everything.

"Liar" Jade said and leaned down next to him. "Who else knows it?"

"I can't tell you that" He said and they laughed.

"Sure you can" She responded and the man looked down so John punched him. "You do understand that your life is on the line here, right?" she asked.

"My life? No, it's yours…It's about time everyone knows the fraud you are" The man said and Jade kicked his face so Cat covered her eyes.

"You and your friends are not going to blow my cover, you can bet your life on it" Jade commented and the gang looked at each other confused, they didn't understand anything.

"We already have! That boyfriend of yours, what's his name again? Right, Beck" The man said and chuckled. "He'll be the first to know, when he turns up dead, who do you think they'll blame for it? You'll end up in the dark hole where you belong, you murderous bitch" He said angrily and she hit his face with a whip.

"You are not to go near him or any of my friends" Jade ordered and grabbed the back of his head. "Now tell me what I want to know" She demanded but he chuckled and spat on her face.

"Get away from me, you Russian trash" Daniel said and she simply moved back, she cleaned her face and grabbed a small knife from her pocket. She looked at him for several seconds as she played with the knife and then put it through his cheek.

"AAAAAAH" The man screamed in pain and Tori covered Cat's mouth because they knew she'd scream too.

"I want names, all of them and I promise this will stop" Jade said calmly and twisted the knife around, so the gang closed their eyes disturbed. That was a very gruesome thing to watch, there was blood all over his face and on her hand. "I just need the names and then we'll let you go" She said.

"You can't run from them, they are just like you…Cold blooded assassins, ghosts" The man said between heavy breaths and the gang looked at each other disconcertedly, they needed answers.

"Let us take care of that, names!" She demanded.

"I'll give you a name we all know very well: Alexandra Romanova, a Russian girl trained from birth as a weapon; lethal, deceiving, heartless…a girl designed to do all the dirty work, a murderess, an impostor" He said and smiled. "Sounds familiar, Alexandra?" He asked and she chuckled.

"My name is Jade West and I'm only a high school girl, I have no idea what you are talking about" Jade said cynically and dug the knife deeper, so he screamed. "Come on, I'm waiting for the names"

"Please stop!" He cried.

"Names" Jade said and smiled as she tortured him, all while her friends watched her appalled. They could see her face and it was clear she was used to that kind of violence, she even seemed to be enjoying it.

"I'll tell you…" The man finally said and she took the knife out.

"We are listening" John said as he held a little notebook and pen, but the man kept crying so Jade rolled her eyes.

"Stop whipping, you pathetic little man" Jade said annoyed but he only cried harder.

"Please let me go" He begged and she simply chuckled as she showed him the knife again.

"I need the information" Jade said. "You just have to tell me everything you know and then I'll let you go, I give you my word" she affirmed as she showed him her open hand. "You'll be free to go home after this, I promise"

"Really?" He asked and she nodded.

"Yes, I don't need to kill you, I just need the names" Jade responded. "Give me the names and this will all go away, we can even help you get away from them, but you need to help us first"

"Please just let me go…" The man said and continued crying so she exhaled annoyed.

"Okay, this is gonna be as hard as you make it" Jade said. "Your tongue doesn't seem very valuable, so the dogs will appreciate it more" she added coldly and the gang covered their mouths shocked.

"No!" The man said scared.

"John, open his mouth" She ordered and John forced the man's mouth open, while she played with the bloody knife in her hand. "You ready?" She asked smiling viciously and put the knife in his mouth.

"NO! WAIT, WAIT…" Daniel screamed scared and John let him talk as he and Jade looked at each other with calm satisfied smirks because they knew they would get the information they needed. "The people I work with are Orlov Tsuka, Bernard Dannel and Kara Vaire" He said and John wrote the names down.

"Three people? Is that all?" Jade asked.

"There are teams for others like you, we can't be too large" The man explained and that fit with what Robert and Petro had told her, so she looked down worriedly.

"You sure?" John asked and he nodded.

"Yes, I swear I don't know anything else" He said. "I swear!"

"I believe you" She affirmed and he smiled as he cried.

"Thank you" The man said in relief and she smiled nicely.

"See? That wasn't so hard, was it?" She asked cynically and stood up.

"No…" He simply said and she nodded with a relaxed smile on her face. "Please let me go now, you promised" The man begged as he cried.

"Of course, I stand by my word" She commented as she walked towards the table to leave the bloody knife on it and John stood up as he smirked, he knew what was coming. Jade simply grabbed a pistol and without any warning, she turned around and shot the man right between the eyes.

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**Yeah, Jade is NO angel in this so again, don't be too surprised at anything she might do, still though, I try to keep it character-accurate. **

**I hope you enjoyed the chapter!**

**PLEASE REVIEW! ;) I love seeing all your thoughts and guesses, this story was super fun to write**


	7. Chapter 7

"He was a crier" Jade said and laughed so John did too, all while the gang stared at her and the corpse with horror in their faces. They couldn't believe what they were witnessing, Cat was crying nonstop into her hand and all the others were panicking, even Beck.

"I'll look these up, if we can have them here today it'd be great" John commented and she nodded as she looked at the corpse but when she moved her eyes up a little, she noticed the closet door was fully closed and she clearly remembered leaving it half open because she'd left in a hurry.

"Yes, go ahead…I'll stay down here for a while" Jade said and he went upstairs.

Jade simply started walking around the body with the gun in her hand and took a breath. "You should've kept your nose out of my business" She said as she looked at the man's still open eyes. "Such a shame innocent people have to die…" She commented as she put her foot on his face to turn it to the side, facing the closet.

"I mean, you weren't innocent but we don't like witnesses, do we?" She asked the dead man and slowly moved her eyes to the closet as well, she started walking towards it calmly and aimed the gun at it as she took a breath.

"You have to the count of three to step outside, I wouldn't like to clean the closet too" Jade commented cynically. "One, two…"

"Don't shoot, don't shoot" Tori said scared as she opened the door fearfully and Jade's eyes wide opened as soon as she saw her and the rest of her friends.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Jade asked confused as she put the gun down and immediately looked at Beck, whose expression perfectly showed his shock.

"Please don't kill us" Andre begged trying to keep himself together and Jade shook her head mortified.

"No, no, I can explain" Jade said nervously. "This isn't what you think" she added but she knew she couldn't excuse herself.

"You just killed a man!" Tori said scared as she looked at the corpse, whose eyes were looking at them, so she looked away disturbed. Jade was panicking so she just put the gun behind her back and stepped in front of the corpse's face.

"Please listen to me" Jade said and looked at her boyfriend "Beck…" She said and waited for him to speak but he was just staring at her appalled, it seemed he was looking at a monster. "I can explain I swear" She affirmed scared, she was terrified of losing him.

"Who are you?" Beck asked confused and she looked at them nervously but then she heard John coming back.

"Hey Jade" John said from upstairs and she looked at her friends nervously, she couldn't let him see them because that would mean losing them.

"Get back inside, don't move and don't speak" She whispered and they looked at each other confused. "Now!" She ordered as she pointed at the closet with the gun and they all went back inside right before John came through the door.

"Yes?" Jade asked as soon as he walked inside.

"I got some info you might wanna see" He informed. "Come on, we'll clean this mess later" He said and went back upstairs expecting her to follow him, she simply looked at the closet for a few seconds and then left the room as well.

"I think they are gone" Andre whispered.

"I wanna leave" Cat said while crying.

"Me too" Andre said.

"She told us to stay" Tori commented.

"She also told that man he'd be free and then killed him" Robbie responded. "I don't think we can trust her, we don't even know who she is"

"But what if her dad sees us trying to sneak out?" Tori asked. "I think our best bet is to stay here"

"I'm scared" Cat said and Andre hugged her.

"We'll be okay, everything's gonna be okay" He affirmed but he looked at his friends mortified, the truth was they couldn't really take anything as certain after the last 30 minutes.

They waited another half an hour and then heard steps coming downstairs so they took a breath to remain calm but Cat and Robbie were trembling, they were all terrified. "So, what do we do with him? I'm sure his friends will want to see him" John commented and chuckled as he looked at the corpse. "Right between the eyes"

"As usual" Jade said.

"As it should always be" He responded and they folded the plastic carpet on the floor, they simply rolled him over until he was covered and caught their breath. "These are so useful, I wish we'd started using them sooner"

"I know" She said and took a breath. "It takes a lot less work"

"Remember the defectors two years ago? I'm surprised we could get the blood off the floor, I mean we had to repaint the walls" John commented and shook his head, Jade didn't want to say anything because she knew her friends were watching and her situation was bad enough as it was, they didn't need to hear her bragging about the people she'd killed.

"Hey, don't forget you have a date with Katherine tonight…make sure she's happy after bed, that tends to loosen her tongue and we need all the info we can get regarding Petro's death" John commented. "You made it look like suicide, but they must know better and they'll be digging to find the killer, they can't trace it back to you"

"They won't, I was careful" Jade affirmed and the gang looked at each other because that sounded like she'd recently committed another murder. "Anyway, take his car and crash it with him inside, make sure it burns, they'll know it wasn't an accident anyway" she said.

"That's exactly what I was thinking" John said and picked the body up. "I'll be back in two hours, work on your aim, when I get back I want to find at least three targets with a perfect shot"

"Okay" Jade said and he nodded, she simply took a gun and started shooting at the range several times while he left. She finished two charges and put on the third one when she heard him leaving but then she stopped and put a silencer on the gun as she turned back to the closet.

"Come out" Jade demanded and the door slowly opened, Cat was hiding behind Andre and Tori and Robbie was behind Beck. They all remained quiet because they didn't know what to expect at that point.

"So…you told them" Jade said calmly to Cat as she leaned her head to the side to make sure she saw her. "What did I say would happen if you didn't keep the secret?" She questioned as she walked towards them with the gun in her hand.

"Please don't hurt us" Tori said scared but Jade ignored her and grabbed Cat's arm.

"Leave her alone" Beck ordered and tried to get her hand off Cat but Jade simply pushed him back and abruptly dragged Cat away from the group.

"Awwww" Cat said in pain but Jade didn't care, she dragged her closer to the shooting range and let go of her arm.

"Please don't hurt her" Andre said but she ignored him.

"So, what did I say again?" Jade said as she leaned down a little to be on Cat's eye level.

"Please don't kill me" Cat said scared and tried to avoid eye contact by looking to the side but Jade put the gun on her cheek and moved her face back to see her. The rest of her friends were too scared to say anything, they really felt they were with a stranger.

"Look me in the eye when I talk to you" Jade ordered and sighed as she watched Cat cry quietly.

"I'm sorry" She said terrified and tried to look down, but Jade put the gun on her chin and made her face her again.

"I said look me in the eye" Jade said coldly as she kept holding Cat's chin up with the gun and she cried her eyes out, she felt Jade would pull the trigger at any point and she'd just die right there.

"I'm sorry" Cat said again.

"You had one simple job, just one" Jade commented disappointedly "What was it?"

"To keep the secret" Cat responded and she nodded.

"Well, you clearly didn't keep your word so, what do you think is gonna happen now?" Jade asked almost cynically, and Cat cried even more. "I told you what the consequences would be if you opened your stupid little mouth, didn't I?" She said annoyed and the gang looked at each other terrified, Jade did not care at all, she was being extremely cruel. "Answer me!" She ordered angrily.

"Yeah…" Cat said as she trembled terrified.

"So, you understand, right?" Jade asked and Cat sobbed even harder.

"Please don't shoot me" Cat said as she bawled her eyes out and Jade stood up again while looking at the gang. She simply grabbed Cat's arm and pushed her back to them, so Tori hugged her and they all stepped away from Jade.

"Go on, take a seat" Jade said calmly and dragged a chair while they looked at her scared. "Take a seat, use the sofa" she ordered and they obeyed, they walked to the corner and sat down on the long leather sofa, Jade sat down in front of them and took a breath.

"I know you have many questions so ask away before we run out of time" Jade said coldly and they looked at each other nervously, they knew what she meant and they were terrified because they were sure they'd die.

"Who are you?" Beck asked coldly and she sighed.

"Here, Jade West but back in Russia my name was Alexandra Romanova, you heard it" Jade informed, and they looked at her shocked. "You can't tell from my accent because I learned English before my own language and I've lived here for years but I'm actually Russian" she added.

"Why are you here?" Tori asked.

"I'm part of a program called TA-12, I'm an orphan and I was trained from an early age to become…a new person, which turned out to be Jade" Jade commented. "Don't get me wrong, though, she did exist but she died long ago and I was sent back here to take her place and live her life, which I have done successfully for around six years" she added.

"Oh god" Andre said still not believing it.

"You're a spy" Tori said and Jade chuckled.

"Good one, Sherlock" She responded sarcastically. "Not nearly as dumb as the one on the movie, though" She said in a thick Russian accent and laughed but they weren't amused at all.

"You are a killer" Beck added coldly and Jade's smile slowly dropped.

"And many other things" Jade commented. "You don't want to know"

"Is he really your dad?" Robbie asked.

"No, he is another agent but he had plastic surgery to look like the real Mr. West" She informed.

"Did you have surgery too?" Tori asked.

"No, I didn't but the medical records say I did, Jade looked a lot like me, so it wasn't shocking to see few changes after the supposed surgery" Jade commented. "She seemed nice on the photos, I would've liked to meet her"

"How did she die?" Andre asked.

"They went on a trip to Ukraine and had a car crash" Jade informed.

"But you said that man had plastic surgery; that is not so quick, they would've noticed" Tori commented and Jade laughed.

"He had the surgery long before the West's went to Ukraine" She said.

"But…" Tori said confused.

"I never said the car crash had been an accident" Jade commented and their eyes wide opened. "They were targets, they didn't go there by chance, we needed to cover certain profiles"

"Oh god…" Beck said as he covered his face, each new thing she said was worse than the other. "This can't be happening"

"You didn't need to know it" She said.

"You were really planning on hiding your true self for the rest of our lives?" Beck asked upset.

"That's what I was trained to do and you would have never noticed" Jade said. "You never did until now and only because Cat couldn't keep her mouth shut" she said as she glared at her friend and she hid behind Tori's arm.

"How many people have you killed?" Beck asked coldly and she sighed. "Answer me"

"You don't need to know" She said "At the end of the day, I have killed and that's all you really care about"

"And how many of those murders have happened during our relationship? I mean, if that's what you wanna call your 'cover'" Beck commented.

"What difference does it make?" Jade questioned.

"Tell me" He demanded and she took a breath as she thought about it.

"Around...seven" She said. "I was an active agent when we started dating, I had work to do but our relationship has never been a cover for me"

"And what else do you do in your 'work'? Why do you have a bed in a training room?" Beck asked coldly.

"What I do for the mission has nothing to do with how I feel, I have never cheated on you on purpose" Jade said.

"On purpose? Oh my god, are you even listening to yourself?" Beck asked angrily. "You are unbelievable"

"Sex is part of our training, I have to use all my tools but I have never felt anything for any of them" Jade responded. "It's just work, it's like acting"

"No, it's not" Beck said coldly.

"Katherine is your current affair, isn't she?" Andre asked and she nodded.

"Yes, but I don't feel anything for her either" Jade affirmed as she looked at Beck.

"I'm not surprised about that, can you even feel?" Beck questioned disgusted and she looked at him emotionlessly.

"You were never supposed to find out" Jade said sincerely.

"Of course not, you wanted to keep fooling me like you've been doing all these years" He responded upset.

"No, it's not like that" She responded "I love you, Beck, I really do"

"Stop talking" He demanded.

"I'm serious, I know you must be thinking I'm a monster and maybe you're right, but I never lied about my feelings for you" Jade affirmed "You are the only real thing in my life"

"There is nothing real about you" Beck responded and she shook her head.

"I'm still the person you know, I haven't changed" Jade said.

"We just saw you ruthlessly torturing and killing a man while you laughed!" Beck exclaimed full of rage and confusion, he still couldn't quite cope "But you're right, you haven't changed, I just never knew you before today"

"That's not true, everything we've had is real I swear" Jade affirmed. "You have to believe me, I never felt at peace with anyone or anywhere until I met you" she said sincerely.

"You tricked me" Beck corrected "I had no idea who I was dating, otherwise I would've never come close to you"

"And you honestly think I don't know that?" Jade asked sadly. "I am aware, Beck, I know I have no place in the world with you or anyone, but Jade does, so why can't I keep it?" She asked and he looked at her coldly.

"Because you are not Jade"

* * *

**;)**

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	8. Chapter 8

"Because you're not Jade" Beck said and Jade looked down, she actually felt sad to lose him and all of her friends but she knew he was right to feel that way.

"I thought that if you realized I was being honest you'd understand" Jade commented sincerely. "I shouldn't have said any of that"

"What?" Tori asked nervously and Jade stood up with the gun in her hand.

"I talked too much, I'm sorry" She said.

"Don't pretend you weren't going to kill us from the beginning" Beck said upset. "You are a killer, it's what you do and we know you don't hesitate"

"I'm sorry" Cat said in panic as she cried her eyes out. "Please don't kill us" she begged as Jade stared at her emotionlessly.

"You are the one to blame for this, remember?" Jade said coldly. "Stop crying, you brought this on yourself and everyone else"

"We won't tell anyone" Tori affirmed as they all stood up. "Please Jade, don't do this, please!"

"Don't beg her, Tori, she is trained not to feel empathy for her victims, she doesn't care about us, she never has" Beck commented and she stared at him upset but then her phone rang.

"Not a single word" Jade ordered and picked up. "Hey Katherine" she said nicely. "Of course I'm coming, don't forget the ice cream...I have a surprise for you" She added seductively as she aimed the gun at them just in case. "You'll love it, I tried it on yesterday and thought of you" she added and giggled quietly, while keeping a dead cold stare on them.

"I don't wa-" Cat started whispering as she cried and Jade aimed the gun at her so Tori covered her mouth.

"I'll see you soon, love you" Jade finished and hung up while Beck shook his head smiling disappointedly.

"Poor woman" Beck said and Jade laughed.

"Katherine? Oh no, believe me…I make her very happy" She commented.

"Until you kill her one of these days" Beck said and she shrugged.

"That's not in my current plans but you might be right, one never knows" She said coldly, she could finally show herself as she truly was because she knew he wouldn't forgive her anyway. "Orders come from very high places in my government, I simply follow them"

"You really don't care about any of this, do you? It's hard to believe I spent all these years ignoring the fact you're a fucking psychopath" Beck commented coldly.

"I'm not a psychopath, I just do my job" She responded.

"Do you realize what you're saying? You've KILLED people! How fucking sick do you need to be to do what you just did and feel nothing?" Beck asked confused and angrily, he wanted her to have a human response, he needed her to show that she cared but she remained stoic. Jade could understand that he was right _in theory,_ but she couldn't bring herself to empathize with his shock, she was used to it and she never really felt anything when she was working, so she didn't know what to respond to make him feel better.

"It's nothing personal" Jade simply said.

"No? Then what are you waiting for? Shoot us and get this over with" Beck said. "It's okay, 'it's nothing personal'" He added quoting her.

"Beck!" Andre exclaimed upset because he was testing her.

"What? You really think she was planning on letting us go?" Beck asked Andre. "She will kill us just like she killed that man"

"No, I won't" Jade informed and they all looked at her confused.

"What? Really?" Tori asked surprised.

"Yes" Jade said and put the gun down "But you better not go to the police, that wouldn't be a smart move" she threatened seriously and they looked at each other.

"We won't" Robbie affirmed and she nodded.

"I know you won't, I trust you're smarter than Cat and that you'll keep her in check" Jade said as she glared at Cat, who simply looked down nervously.

"Don't worry, we won't say anything" Tori affirmed.

"Good, I'm glad we are on the same page" Jade said and smiled at them cynically, she needed to scare them even though she felt sad to lose them. "But just keep in mind that if you even think about betraying my trust, I'll know it and you'll be dead, you can't hide from me" She affirmed and they nodded nervously.

"We won't" Andre said and she nodded.

"Go now before John comes back" Jade said and stepped out of the way so they started running to the door but Beck stayed behind, he was just standing there staring at her and trying to process all the new information he had. He looked at her and he couldn't recognize her.

"What are you waiting for?" Jade asked but he didn't say anything, he just kept staring at her coldly so she sighed sadly. "You think I'm a monster"

"I'm just trying to process everything" Beck admitted as he looked at her.

"I don't expect you to forgive me, but I want you to know that what I said is true" Jade responded. "I love you and I always have, that wasn't a lie, my feelings for you are real"

"Please stop talking, I don't want to hear any more of your lies" He said coldly and she looked down. "You know, out of all the things you said, only one is true" Beck commented.

"And what's that?" She asked.

"You have no place in the world" He said and walked out of the room as well. Jade simply stood there all alone in the middle of a training room, with a gun in her hand and a couple of tears streaming down her cheeks: that was her reality, it had always been. His words hurt her because she knew he was right, she was as alone as she had been all her life and she no longer had the refuge of Jade's life to comfort her.

The gang immediately went to Tori's house and locked all the doors, they were terrified after what they'd experienced, and they didn't know how to manage it. Beck was still in shock and a slight denial, he felt he was a in a dream and that he'd wake up to realize Jade was still the person he used to know.

"I can't believe this is happening" Tori said sincerely.

"We've been hanging out with a Russian killer for years" Andre added and shook his head. "What are the odds?"

"So Jade is not Jade, right?" Cat asked sadly.

"I mean, she's the only Jade we know but yeah, that's not her name, it's the name of a girl those people killed so she could replace her" Tori commented disturbed.

"I can't believe she let us go, I thought we would die right there" Robbie commented.

"Maybe she felt guilty" Andre said.

"Or maybe killing us would've been a bigger problem for her, she doesn't need any more attention right now" Beck commented coldly. "She is a psychopath, the farther away we can be from her, the better"

Next day they showed up at school and expected Jade to miss class, but she was already there when they arrived. "Hey guys" She said casually and they looked at her nervously. "Hi babe" She said as she kissed Beck and stood next to him.

"Hey…?" Tori said confused.

"You call yourself an actor? You need to be more believable" Jade said discreetly with a calm expression and looked around to make sure no one was watching them.

"What are you doing?" Beck said and stepped away from her.

"Going on with my life, what else could I be doing?" Jade asked back and grabbed his hand. "You are free to hate me all you want but like or not, you are part of Jade's life and I can't afford to lose you all at once, it doesn't look good" she commented and smiled like nothing was happening.

"You are insane, stay away from us" Beck said and tried to move his hand back, but she kept holding it tightly and got closer to him again.

"Beck, I really don't think you realize what's at stake here" Jade whispered in a warning tone. "It's not just my life on the line, my supervisor wouldn't be pleased to know there are five loose ends in my cover, get it?" she asked annoyed.

"Are you saying we are in danger?" Tori asked scared.

"If you keep looking at me like that, you will be" Jade responded and Tori looked at her friends nervously, so Jade rolled her eyes. "What I need you to do now is to pretend you didn't see anything, you don't know anything" She demanded. "I'm still Jade and we are still friends, make it clear"

"You can't ask us that after what we saw, we can't just chill and treat you like before we found out you are a killer" Beck said.

"I feel you still don't fully understand this" Jade said sincerely. "If my supervisor, who is not an idiot, realizes you don't talk to me anymore he'll know you are aware of the truth now and that's not going to be well received" She informed. "So, here's the deal: you either put up the best performance of your lives or you die in a tragic accident in a few days, take your pick" she said and their eyes wide opened in fear.

"Oh my god" Andre said scared and she rolled her eyes.

"Relax, you are making it easier for them by acting scared" Jade commented. "Only I know that you know and I'd like to keep it that way so stop crying and pretend nothing's wrong, we'll keep doing what we used to, not a single change and maybe in a few weeks we can slowly work things out and pave your way towards freedom but it needs to be coherent" she commented and they looked at each other. "Did I make myself clear?" She asked Beck and he nodded so she gave him a peck and he put his arm around her shoulders.

"Okay" Tori said and took a breath.

"Let's go to class" Jade ordered and they all walked away.

Two days later Beck was at the mall just walking around because he wanted to distract himself, the previous days had been awful and he didn't want to think about it. He hadn't even told his friends to come with him because he wanted to be alone, he wanted to decide what he would do about everything. Part of him wanted to go straight to the police and tell them everything he knew, but he also didn't want to put his friends' lives in danger and he didn't want to betray Jade, she was threatening them but she was also the person he'd loved for years and he couldn't wish her harm, it was a strange feeling.

He spent around two hours just wasting time and then decided to finally go home so he headed back to the parking lot, he was distracted so he didn't really pay attention to his surroundings but before he could get in the car, he felt someone jumping at him from behind.

"GET OFF ME!" Beck screamed but then two more people joined and he couldn't stop them, they shoved him in the trunk of his car and took off. They drove him to an abandoned factory outside the city but Beck couldn't see anything, he only knew he'd spent around an hour in the trunk and then they'd tied him up in a chair but his eyes remained covered.

"Who are you?" Beck asked because he could hear their voices.

"Relax, we just need to talk" A man said and removed the tie around his eyes, so he finally saw them; there two men and one woman, all wearing black clothes.

"Who are you?" He questioned again as he looked at them.

"We need to ask you a few questions" One of the man, whose name was Bernard, said.

"What kind of questions?" Beck asked nervously.

"How long have you known Jade?" A man asked and it was clear from his accent that he was Russian.

"Three years" Beck said and the man, whose name was Orlov, nodded. "What do you want from me? Who are you?" he questioned, he knew exactly what they wanted but he was playing dumb.

"We just wanna chat" The woman, whose name was Kara, said. "We are not your enemies, Beck, on the contrary…We want to help you, your girlfriend is not who she says she is and you're in danger"

"What are you talking about?" Beck questioned upset. "Let me go"

"Her real name is Alexandra Romanova and she is Russian" Bernard said.

"What? That's ridiculous, I know my girlfriend" Beck responded.

"No, you don't, she is a killer, in the last two weeks alone she's killed two people" Kara informed. "One of them was our colleague"

"You are mistaking her for someone else" Beck affirmed.

"Listen, we just wanted you to know the truth" Kara responded. "Soon everyone else will too"

"Please let me go" He demanded and they looked at each other.

"Of course, but first you need to call 911 and tell them everything we just told you" Bernard said as he grabbed Beck's phone and dialed the numbers.

"I won't do that, it's a lie" Beck responded.

"You're not getting it, hon, you either do it willingly or we can make you and I swear, it's not pretty" Kara threatened as she leaned down to look at his face. "You really are something, uh? I can see why Alexandra chose you" She added and gave him a peck, so he glared at her coldly.

"Go to hell" Beck said and they chuckled.

"You don't need to resist this, Beck, we are not your enemies" Kara commented. "Do this little something for us and we'll let you go" She added but as Beck listened to her, he could only remember Jade saying the exact same things to the man in her basement before she killed him. He knew he couldn't trust them because they were just like her. "I'm gonna press call and you'll say what you were told, okay?" She asked nicely.

"And then what? You're gonna kill me and make it seem like she did it?" Beck asked angrily and Kara smiled as she stood up and moved the phone away.

"You did not deduce that from the tone of my voice" Kara responded with irony.

"Maybe you're not a total idiot after all, you know more than you're telling us" Bernard commented and Beck looked to the side, those were the dead man's teammates and he knew exactly what they wanted to do.

"It looks like tonight might be more fun than expected" Orlov said as he played with a knife and walked closer to Beck, which just continued to trigger his memory of the event at the basement. Everything felt the same, but this time he was the victim.

"Tell us everything you know" Kara ordered.

"What for? So you can kill me faster?" He asked.

"No, so you can avoid all the pain we are about to inflict on you" She responded. "This country doesn't appreciate traitors, Beck, if you side with that killer you are against us and you'll receive the same treatment as her"

"I'm not a traitor but I know you will kill me either way" Beck affirmed. "And I won't let you use me to get her"

"Love really is blind, uh?" Bernard said. "Pity she doesn't feel the same way about you"

"Right, you're just her boy toy which makes this bravery even more stupid, she doesn't deserve it" Kara affirmed and Beck deep inside agreed with her, but he wanted to save his own life and he knew that doing what they requested would only make him useless faster, his best bet was to resist as long as possible.

"I don't know anything and I won't do anything for you" Beck said.

"Alright, we'll do this your way" Kara said in a threatening tone with a vicious smile, which reminded him of the smile Jade had on her face while torturing her victim, so he felt his blood going cold. "Let's play"

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	9. Chapter 9

"Let's play" Kara said and took the knife from Orlov's hand, so Beck tried to prepare himself for the torture that was coming. In those moments, all he could think about was his life a few days before and how much everything had changed, part of him even wished Jade had killed him herself because now he would have to go through a lot more pain and he knew they'd kill him in the end anyway. They wouldn't hesitate, just like Jade hadn't, they were the same kind of people.

"I agree, let's play" Jade suddenly said and they all turned around to see her, Beck's eyes wide opened because he hadn't expected to see her there but he felt relieved, he felt a strange sense of safety and fear. He trusted that she was there to save him but at the same time he couldn't help to fear for her life, because she was outnumbered and he didn't want her to die.

"Well, well…look who's here, the one and only Alexandra Romanova" Kara said. "I've been meaning to meet you in person"

"Well, here I am" Jade said cynically as she opened her arms and then looked at Beck. "I see you got my boyfriend, what a dumb move"

"Dumb? Please, he is your damsel in distress and here you are now" Kara said and Beck rolled his eyes, he didn't like to be seen as bait.

"You really think I care about him?" Jade asked and laughed.

"You are here" Bernard said.

"What would your supervisor say if he knew you came to rescue your little boyfriend?" Orlov asked.

"I'm not here to rescue him, he is a liability at this point" Jade informed. "I really don't care if you kill him but he led me to you so, as I said, it was a dumb move on your part" she commented cynically. "But then again, I expected you to do it so thank you, I guess" She added and Beck stared at her disappointedly, he actually believed what she was saying and it hurt him more than he'd expected, because even after finding out the truth, he loved her.

"And you think we'll believe that?" Kara asked. "We've seen you, love birds"

"I honestly don't care what you believe, you can kill him right now and it'll make no difference to me, as far as everyone else is concerned: he got mugged and resisted it so he was shot dead, nothing links me to his murder, he didn't even make the call you wanted him to do" Jade said calmly and they looked at each other annoyed, while Beck looked down disappointedly. "The important thing is that I found you" she added.

"You're bluffing" Bernard said.

"Yes, and we are not falling for it, sweetheart" Kara affirmed. "But it's good that you're here so you can watch your boyfriend die" she added and Jade chuckled.

"Don't worry, I'll save you the trouble" Jade said as she grabbed the gun from her coat and suddenly shot Beck so he fell back and they looked at him surprised, they hadn't seen that coming and Jade used that one moment to shoot each one of them as well.

Jade killed the three of them in matter of seconds and then walked towards Beck, he was on the floor but he only had a scratch on his arm. However, he was still panicking because he hadn't expected her to shoot him, he was just trembling and trying to cope with what had just happened.

"You okay?" Jade asked as she helped him up and checked his arm. "Sorry about this, it'll heal quickly"

"You…you shot me" Beck said nervously.

"I had to" She responded.

"You could've killed me!" He affirmed scared and she smiled.

"No, don't worry, I knew what I was doing" Jade said and took a breath. "But I'm sorry you even had to be here"

"Are you?" He asked and she looked at him confused.

"Yes, of course" Jade responded.

"How did you even find us?" He questioned

"I followed you, I wanted to make sure you were okay because I knew these people were still out there" Jade explained.

"Was it that or was I your bait?" Beck asked and she looked to the side because she knew he wouldn't like her answer.

"Both, I guess" Jade admitted. "I wanted to make sure you were okay, but I also knew they were after you and I had to get rid of them, so it was a double win"

"Good to know I was useful" Beck said coldly and she looked down.

"I know you must be thinking that what I said is true and that I don't care about you, but it was just a lie to distract them" Jade affirmed.

"Everything about you is a lie, so I'm really not surprised" He commented sincerely. "As far as I'm concerned, you don't feel anything for anyone because you're a psychopath, just like them"

"That's not true and deep inside you know it" She said as she stared right into his eyes. "I love you, Beck, I really do and even though I understand you don't want me around, I need you to believe that what we had was real because it was"

"STOP SAYING THAT" He demanded angrily with tears in his eyes and looked away, but she grabbed his face to make him look at her.

"No, I need you to believe me, please" Jade said, almost begging as her eyes filled with tears as well. "I love you, Beck, I wasn't supposed to feel this way but it happened, you're the only person I've ever felt safe with, you're the only real thing in my life, I mean it" She admitted as a couple of tears streamed down her cheeks.

Beck could see she was being honest and part of him wanted to give in, but then he looked to the side and saw the three corpses, the three people she'd killed without hesitating just like she'd done with the man in her basement and all her other victims. He couldn't just accept that, those three dead bodies and the fact she felt nothing after killing them proved she was empty inside. He looked back at her and all he could see was a coldblooded killer, so even thought he loved her, he couldn't forgive her.

"I just want to go home" Beck said and she sighed sadly as she looked down and moved her hands away from his face.

"Okay, I can drive you, I'll come back for my car later" Jade said.

"No, I want to be alone" He responded and he could see she wanted to speak so he interrupted her. "I need to be alone, so please don't follow me"

"I understand" She said and simply watched him walking towards his car, she waited until he drove away and then she dragged the corpses to the garden of the factory. She simply dug a huge hole in the ground and put them in it before covering it up again.

It took her several hours to fix the scene and then she went back home, she arrived at sunrise and found John drinking coffee in the kitchen but as soon as he saw her, he walked out. "What the hell happened to you?" He asked because she was covered in dirt.

"I found the other three…or they found me" Jade lied, she couldn't tell him that Beck had been involved.

"And?" John asked.

"They are dead and buried" Jade responded.

"What did they tell you?" He questioned.

"Nothing much, they just talked about my days here being over and they wanted to kill me, so I killed them first" Jade informed. "I didn't have time to question them" she said and he sighed as he thought about it.

"Not ideal but given the circumstances, I get it" John said coldly. "The important thing is that you made it out and they are gone"

"Yeah, until the next ones come along" She responded annoyed.

"We're ahead now and we'll figure out a way to stop them, you don't need to worry" He affirmed. "As for now, keep working on Katherine, she is your priority"

That morning Beck missed school because he needed some time to get over the shock of what had happened, he'd felt close to dying two times in matter of days and one of those had been at the hands of his girlfriend. Everything was overwhelming for him because he loved Jade, he couldn't erase all his feelings for her overnight, but he also felt threatened by her and whenever he remembered what she'd done, he felt stupid for not being able to hate her.

"Beck, it's us…open the door" Tori said as she knocked on his RV.

"We are worried because you missed school" Cat added and Beck sighed, he simply opened the door and they immediately saw the bandage around his arm.

"Hey" He said.

"What happened to you?" Andre asked confused as he and the rest of them stepped into his RV.

"Jade shot me" Beck informed and their eyes wide opened.

"What?" Tori asked shocked. "Are you serious?"

"Yeah" He said and laid down on his bed again, he simply grabbed a little ball and started throwing it and catching it while they looked at him expecting more information.

"But why?" Robbie asked.

"She didn't mean to attack me…I think" Beck commented and looked at them. "Three people kidnapped me yesterday, the ones working with the man Jade killed in her basement"

"Oh my god" Tori said appalled. "And what did they want? What did they do to you?"

"They wanted me to call the police and tell them about Jade" Beck responded. "Probably to kill me and frame it on her"

"But she was there, right? She stopped them" Andre said and he nodded.

"Yeah, she showed up and said I had been bait and that she didn't really care if they killed me" Beck said coldly and they looked at him mortified, they could see that had hurt him "But they didn't buy it, so…she shot me" He explained.

"Just like that?" Robbie asked and Beck thought about it as remembered that moment.

"Yes, it happened so fast…but I remember seeing it like it was slow motion" Beck commented. "I saw her taking the gun and aiming it at me and I felt…I felt I was dead, but then I heard more shots and all the sudden she was untying me"

"Wow…" Andre said trying to process it.

"Well, yeah…that doesn't sound like she wanted to kill you, right?" Tori admitted. "But still, what if she'd failed?"

"I don't want to think about it" Beck said sincerely and looked down. "I just want this nightmare to end"

A couple of weeks passed and the gang had been trying to treat Jade like nothing was wrong, it got to a point where they even got used to it, they didn't feel scared around her and when they were alone they could have normal conversations with her about her actual life. It felt surreal but she hadn't shown any sing of violent behavior towards them, apart from shooting Beck, so they trusted she wouldn't hurt them.

"I just ordered the pizza" Tori informed and went back to the table where they were playing cards.

"Pepperoni?" Cat asked and she nodded. "Yay"

"So Jade, how's work?" Andre questioned trying to be nice.

"We don't need to talk about that" She responded.

"What about your dad? Does he suspect anything about us?" Tori asked.

"No, you've done a good job" Jade said sincerely. "Just keep it up and we'll be fine"

"You won't be until you catch all the bad guys" Andre said and she chuckled.

"So, I'm not the bad guys anymore?" Jade asked and they looked at each other.

"There's no good side here, they are bad and so are you" Beck responded and she looked down for a moment but then she acted like it didn't bother her.

"But you've been like this since we met you, we just didn't know it" Tori said. "You are still you…kind of, we just know more now"

"And you wouldn't hurt us, right?" Cat asked nervously so she rolled her eyes annoyed.

"No, just relax" Jade said annoyed.

"Do you expect us to smile when we know we are next to a killer?" Beck asked.

"I expect you to know you're safe with me" She responded. "I know you are scared and this has all been new to you but you have to trust me, I don't know how many more times I have to say it for you to believe me" she added.

"I just want this to be over" Beck said and she sighed.

"Don't worry, I'm already working on some ideas to get you away from me without raising suspicions" Jade said and faked a little smile, she was sad to know they'd be out of her life but that was for the best. "You'll be free from me before you know it"

"But…what if someone comes after us? You have made enemies and they know we are your friends" Tori said nervously. "I mean, those people kidnapped Beck"

"He was a target and those bastards are dead" Jade affirmed. "You will be fine"

"But…even if we stop being friends, maybe the people who hate you now will come for us later on" Andre commented and Jade thought about it.

"Yeah, we are in danger" Robbie added nervously.

"Listen, I don't think this will be necessary but for the sake of your mental peace, I can teach you some things, just in case" Jade said and they looked at each other.

"What kind of things?" Beck asked.

"Skills you'll need if someone tries to hurt you, I can even get you some weapons you can keep in secret for emergencies" She responded.

"Really? You would teach us?" Tori questioned surprised.

"If that will make you all feel better, sure" Jade simply said and they nodded.

"Yes, please" Andre said.

"Do you really want to learn how to kill someone?" Beck asked their friends. "We are not killers, we are not like her"

"When it comes down to saving your own life, everyone is 'like me'" Jade responded and he looked at her coldly.

"The man you killed in that room was not threating your life, you killed him because you wanted to" Beck commented. "We are not like that"

"I never said you were, but we are talking about a situation where you are in danger" Jade said. "If I hadn't been at the factory, you would be dead right now"

"That is true" Tori said.

"I wouldn't have been there if it weren't for you in the first place" He said to Jade and she sighed as she stared at him emotionlessly, she knew he was right.

"That is true too" Tori added.

"I know but we can't change that now, and I want you to be prepared in case it happens again" Jade responded.

"I could never kill anyone" He said and she chuckled.

"That's a lie, would you really stop to think about the other person if your life were at risk?" She asked and he thought about it. "Don't think about it, the answer is no and that applies to me, to you and to everyone, it's about survival"

"Why would we even be at risk? You already killed those people" Beck said.

"I have many enemies and whether you like it or not, you are part of my life and you could be targets, even if we stop seeing each other" Jade responded.

"Exactly, Beck, let's do this…it's for our safety" Tori added.

"And we know she is capable, I mean…she shot you on the arm without even thinking about it, you told us" Andre commented and Jade smiled a little "We could use some of those skills"

"Fine, when?" Beck asked.

"John left on a trip, he comes back in two days so we can do it tomorrow, the training room will be available" Jade said.

"Okay, we'll see you there tomorrow then" Beck said coldly and she nodded, that would be, in a way, their first step towards freedom and it was clear they were happy about it, they wanted her out of their lives.

"Good" She simply said.

Jade didn't want to lose them but she knew they were with her against their will, they talked and hanged out but it was only because she'd threatened them, she could see the fear in their eyes whenever they looked at her and it hurt her, so she felt letting them go was the right thing to do, even if that meant leaving her life even more empty than it already was.

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	10. Chapter 10

Next day the gang showed up at Jade's house and she took them to the basement again, they felt unsettled to be back in that place but the circumstances were different, they were no longer the victims and they wanted to learn some of Jade's skills.

"Alright, first we are doing combat, some easy moves you can use to escape an assault" Jade said and they followed her to the mat. "Beck, come here" She ordered and he simply walked towards her. "Embrace me from behind, as tight as you can…Try to immobilize me" She said and he felt weird about it but he did it.

"Now what?" He asked as he held her tight.

"Okay, if someone attacks you from behind, they'll try this because it's the easiest way to take you" Jade said to her friends. "So, what you do is this…You hold on tight to his arm" She said as she grabbed Beck's arm. "And you lean down quickly, take all your weight down with you and try to go back between his legs, it needs to be fast because if they realize what you're doing, they can stop you" She said and they nodded.

"Can you show us?" Andre asked and she nodded, she simply did the move and projected Beck over herself right on the mat.

"Ah…" He said and they all stared at him surprised.

"That looks easy" Tori said.

"It is but you need to consider these are trained agents, just like me and they are used to this, it's nothing to them and you will not win a fight with them so you have to neutralize them as quickly as you can" Jade explained.

"How?" Robbie asked.

"They will be on the floor for two or maybe three precious seconds, and you need to make sure they never get up because if they do, it's over for you" Jade affirmed. "So, you have to kick his ear or neck as hard as you can, that will make them dizzy and it'll give you the chance to quickly twist their neck but ignore what you've seen in movies, it's bullshit" She informed as she grabbed Beck's head. "Pay attention, this is how you do it"

"Be careful" Beck said nervously.

"Relax" Jade said and put her hand on his chin and the other on his head. "You twist it like this, to the upper side, using all your strength and remember to be quick, it's important" She said and did the motion slowly to avoid hurting him. "If you do it correctly, you'll break their neck and it's game over, problem solved!"

"Yeah, problem solved…" Beck said coldly as he moved her hands away from his face, he wanted to learn but when she explained it, he felt disturbed because she really talked about killing people as if it were nothing important.

"Okay" Cat said as she nodded.

"Can we see it again?" Tori asked and Beck rolled his eyes but he stood up and they did it again. After that, she watched them all trying it and taking turns on the side of the aggressor so it wouldn't always be Beck. They spent around two hours doing that and other tricks she taught them and then moved on to the shooting range.

"I'm nervous" Cat admitted when it was her turn and Jade put the gun in her hand.

"It's okay, there's nothing to be scared of" She said and put Cat's arms in position. "Just keep your eyes on the target, don't tremble and shoot" She instructed on her ear and Cat nodded. She started shooting but she closed her eyes, so Jade stopped her. "No!"

"Sorry" Cat said.

"It's fine, try again but don't close your eyes" Jade responded so Cat nodded. "Now"

They all tried the shooting range and none of them got very good results, Beck came closest but even he missed the target, so they were all frustrated. "This is so much harder than it looks, I thought it'd be easy" Tori commented as they drank some water.

"Easy?" Jade asked and laughed. "Of course this isn't easy, I didn't expect you to get it right today…but it's a good start, at least now you've held and shot a gun"

"How long did it take you to master it?" Robbie asked.

"I started shooting when I was seven" Jade informed. "But I was terrible at it, it took me at least two years to be on a decent level"

"Oh my god, that's so young" Tori said.

"It's a key skill" She responded. "We all had to master it, we had to master everything"

"And what happened if you didn't?" Andre asked and she stared at him emotionlessly for a few seconds, but she didn't want to think about that.

"Anyway, let's try it again" She simply said ignoring his question and they looked at each other disconcertedly. "Tori, you're up"

"Okay" Tori said and Jade grabbed a gun for her so Tori took it, but then she heard noises.

"Wait" Jade said and they looked at her confused, she walked closer to the door and they all remained quiet, but they could feel their hearts racing just by looking at her because she was nervous as well.

"What's happening?" Cat whispered scared and Jade shook her head as she ordered them to remain quiet. She grabbed the pistol she had on the back of her pants and looked outside carefully, so she saw the lights on upstairs.

"Jade, where are you?" John asked and she felt her blood going cold, she quickly walked back into the room and looked at her terrified friends, she couldn't let John see them.

"Go in the closet now, don't move, don't speak, don't even breathe" She ordered whispering and they nodded scared as they ran into the closet with their backpacks in hand, Jade simply closed the door and looked around the room to make sure there was no trace of them.

"Jade" John said again as he came downstairs and Jade stood in front of the range to pretend she was shooting, but all the targets on the wall had terrible results so she rolled her eyes annoyed, she knew he would notice. "I called you"

"Oh, I didn't hear you" Jade said as she took the shooting earmuffs off. "What are you doing here anyway? I thought you'd come back tomorrow"

"We finished before so there was no need to stay there longer" John said and looked at the targets. "You shot that?" He asked confused.

"I was trying to do it with my eyes closed" Jade lied. "I guess need to work more on my blind aim"

"Clearly, but that's more for targets in movement so this is fine" John commented. "We'll practice that some other time, it's all about the noises and paying close attention to your environment"

"Why don't we go and try it today in an open space?" Jade suggested.

"Are you forgetting what day it is?" John asked and she realized it was the end of the month, so she looked down and sighed.

"You're right, I forgot" Jade said and he nodded as he loosened his necktie.

"We can try the shooting tomorrow" He simply said and she nodded, she completely regretted bringing her friends that day, she didn't want them to witness what was about to happen.

"I'm gonna drink some water" Jade simply said and walked to the side to grab her bottle, she was facing the closet and John was behind her, so she looked right at her friends and put her finger on her nose. "Sh…" she mouthed and took a breath as she turned back to her father. She saw him bringing out a special table they had and she immediately knew what was coming so she looked down, her friends would have to witness a horrible scene.

"Ready?" John asked and she put her hair in a ponytail.

"Ready" Jade said and he nodded, they carried several buckets of water and put them next to the table, then she got on top of it and nodded at him. John tied her hands behind her back, she laid down and he strapped her feet and the rest of her body to the table so she wouldn't move. After she was all set, he adjusted the inclination of the table to have her feet above her head and she took a breath.

The gang had no idea what was happening and they could see Jade wasn't happy about it but she didn't complain, she was just doing it. "Okay, you're gonna be on a table just like this surrounded by your enemies, you'll be beaten, you'll be hurt and this is what they're gonna do next because…what's their job?" John asked as he stood next to her with a heavy towel in his hand.

"To make me feel I'm gonna die" Jade responded.

"And what's yours?" He asked.

"Not to believe them" She affirmed and he nodded.

"What are you going to feel?" John asked.

"Pain" Jade said.

"That's right, pain, a lot of pain…You'll feel you are going to, in fact, die, the pain will be so bad that you'll feel the need to give up, but you have to remember this, what's pain?" He questioned coldly and she gulped.

"Pain is a dream" She affirmed.

"Say it again" He ordered.

"Pain is a dream" Jade repeated and he nodded, he simply covered her face with the towel and started throwing the water on it so she felt she was drowning.

The gang looked at each other completely shocked but Jade had told them to stay quiet so they couldn't do anything, they could only see her getting tortured. "You're gonna give up now?" John asked as he momentarily removed the towel so she would breathe and she gasped but she shook her head, so he covered her face again and continued doing it.

"I know it feels like you're dying but you won't give up, your mind is stronger than this" John said as he tortured her and she shook her body desperately. Her friends couldn't even watch because it was too disturbing.

He waterboarded her for around thirty minutes with small breaks in between so she wouldn't asphyxiate and when he was done, he simply removed the towel and she gasped desperately to try and get as much air in as possible, but even breathing was painful so she started crying.

"I can't br-" Jade muttered in pain.

"It's fine, it's over, you did great" John affirmed as he removed the straps and helped her up, she sat on the side of the table and he made her lean forward a little so she would breathe more easily. "One more bucket than last time and you didn't pass out this time, impressive" He admitted as she struggled to take in air.

"I know it hurts but it'll pass, just keep it slow and steady, you'll be fine" John affirmed as he rubbed her back and she nodded trying to breathe. "The important thing is you resisted it" He said and wiped her tears away.

"I…did" Jade said smiling so her friends looked at each other confused, that whole thing was terrifying in itself but the fact she simply accepted it and even felt happy afterwards was beyond their capacity to understand. Jade slowly recovered her breath and then they put the waterboarding table back in its place.

"Can we stop now?" Jade asked, she needed to rest and she didn't want her friends to keep witnessing her torture training.

"You won't get to rest if they catch you and last month we skipped the most important test for you, don't you remember?" John responded coldly and she knew what she meant so she looked down. "Get on the chair" He ordered and she looked at him scared but she couldn't complain, so she simply walked towards the chair and sat down.

"Remember what we talked about the last time you were here, right?" John asked as he strapped her.

"Yes" She said and he leaned down with his hands on her arms and his face right in front of hers to look right into her eyes.

"This is it, Alexandra, this is the test and you better resist because I didn't raise a weak traitor" John affirmed.

"I'm not a traitor and I'm not weak" Jade said coldly.

"We'll see that when this is over" He responded and stood up. "When you even consider giving up, when you think the pain is too much and that you'd do anything to stop it, think about all your brothers and sisters, think about your nation, think about the things that really matter and remember nothing is more important than the mission, not me and not you, if they take your life so be it but you won't say a word, there's no worse dishonor and you won't die a traitor, do you understand?" John ordered and she nodded.

"Nothing is more important than the mission" Jade affirmed.

"That's right, pain is a dream and your mind is a palace you can escape to, nothing they do will ever be enough to break your will if you don't allow it" John said, he had to repeat the same things over and over, he'd been doing it for years and it was a crucial part of her training, those words had to be ingrained in her. "You are doing this not for yourself, but for the millions of people who stand behind you, this is war and…"

"And I'm a soldier" Jade finished and took a breath, she even forgot her friends were there because she needed to focus on resisting.

"Ready?" He asked.

"Pain is a dream" Jade affirmed and opened her mouth, so he put the special protector in it. The gang knew what was coming because it was obvious but that didn't make it any easier when John hit the button, they couldn't believe what they were watching, it was brutal and sad and disturbing, and the fact that horror was part of her training was just appalling for them.

"Oh my god" Tori whispered because the screams noises coming out of Jade during the torture allowed them to speak.

"I can't see this" Beck muttered and looked down but they could hear it and even if they didn't want to, they kept glancing back to check how she was doing only to see her shaking and crying desperately.

John continued lowering and intensifying the shocks expecting her to give up as she always did but this time she didn't, she resisted it until she finally passed out. "Oh no" Tori whispered scared when they saw Jade's head falling back and they looked at each other terrified, they thought she was dead.

John simply stopped the shocks and checked her pulse to verify she was alive, then he removed the straps and injected something on her arm to make her react. A few seconds later, she opened her eyes and slowly moved her head back up confused.

"What happened?" Jade whispered and John smiled.

"You beat it" He said proudly and stroked her cheek. "You did it, Alex, you resisted until the very end"

"I did?" She asked surprised and he nodded.

"I knew you could do it" John affirmed. "You just had to believe it and you did, you're finally unbreakable!" He said and she smiled proudly while her friends looked at each other trying to understand her, but they couldn't.

"I did it" Jade said and he kissed her forehead.

"I'm proud of you" John affirmed and she took a breath, she tried to wipe her tears away but she couldn't move her arms.

"Oh no, it's happening again" Jade said worriedly, when they used the chair she usually had paralysis on some of her muscles for a few hours. "I can't move my arms"

"Legs?" He asked and she moved her feet, so she exhaled in relief. "It's just the arms then, that's okay, let's go upstairs…We'll get you in a warm bath to soften your muscles and I'll go to the grocery store for soup and more medicine, come on" John said as he helped her to stand up because she felt weak and shaky.

Jade and John walked out of the training room and locked the door so the gang exhaled in relief, but they were still trying to process what they'd seen. "God, that was horrible" Tori said.

"I know" Beck added, he couldn't get the pictures of Jade being electrocuted and waterboarded out of his head, they kept playing on loop followed by the sound of her pain even though she couldn't scream.

"She never told us he did this to her" Andre commented.

"I mean…it makes sense, she is a spy and it sounded like he is preparing her in case she gets caught" Robbie said. "But still, how can he do it? How can she agree?"

"Well, it didn't seem like she had much a choice" Andre commented.

"I hope she is okay, that seemed painful" Cat added sadly.

"She couldn't move her arms and she passed out so that didn't go too well" Robbie said.

"But her dad was so happy about it, it's disturbing" Tori commented.

"Of course he was, she resisted it and it sounds like it's the first time she beats this test" Beck responded. "So, we know she's had to do it more times, it's fucking sick" He added as he shook his head upset, he felt angry and sad. He wanted to protect Jade but at the same time, he felt unsettled by her willingness to do it and her happiness afterwards; everything about her and her life was sickening to him.

"And what do we do now? She didn't look well, she won't be coming back any time soon" Tori said worriedly. "We are stuck here until she gets better and we can only hope he doesn't find us first"

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	11. Chapter 11

"Yes, as long as her father doesn't find us, I think we are good" Andre said nervously.

"At least we have a gun" Robbie added and Tori looked at the pistol in her hand, she'd forgotten about it.

"We are not so good with guns, though" She responded. "But I guess we could shoot him when he opens the door, it might give us time"

"Yeah, keep it ready just in case" Andre said and she nodded, but then they heard noises so they remained quiet and Tori aimed the gun at the door scared.

"Oh no" Cat whispered nervously and stood behind Tori, a second later the door opened and they expected to see Mr. West but it was a very pale and still wet Jade.

"What the hell are you doing?" Jade asked confused when she saw Tori aiming the gun at her. "Put that down, you're dangerous with it" she ordered and Beck grabbed the pistol from her hand.

"I'm sorry, we thought you were him" Tori said.

"Don't put your finger on the trigger if you can't see your target, you could kill someone by accident" Jade said annoyed and took the gun from Beck's hand.

"You can move" Cat said confused and she nodded.

"Yes, but I needed John to leave the house so I lied, you can't stay here" Jade responded as she unloaded the pistol, but she was still a little shaky.

"Are you okay?" Tori asked worriedly and Jade nodded.

"Yeah" She responded but she had little muscle spams all over her body and her hands were trembling a little, she didn't feel strong enough to hold anything and keeping the pistol in her hand was hard so she just dropped it once it was unloaded.

"But…you're shaking" Cat said confused and Jade grabbed her left wrist with her right hand trying to control it but it was involuntary so her hands kept trembling.

"This is normal, it happens every time" Jade explained and took a breath because she felt dizzy.

"That was horrible" Beck admitted and she looked at him mortified.

"I forgot it's the last day of the month, I shouldn't have brought you today" Jade responded. "You didn't have to see that, I'm sorry"

"The last day of the month? So, this is a monthly thing?" Tori asked shocked and Jade looked at their appalled faces.

"This is part of my training, the most important part actually…it needs to be consistent" She explained.

"So…you do exactly this every month?" Andre asked.

"Not exactly, it varies from time to time…but it's usually something that won't leave a visible scar, I mean, when did you ever suspect I did this?" Jade asked but her voice was still shaky, so they were looking at her sadly. "If it's a weekend, it can be a little longer, though"

"What do you mean longer? How can he do this to you for longer?" Tori asked.

"I mean: longer" Jade said as she stepped back and looked down, so they did too and they realized there was a different pattern on the floor, it was some sort of door.

"What's in there?" Andre questioned confused.

"Me, usually…and sometimes, someone we need to get information from" She informed. "It's the size of a coffin"

"He locks you in there?" Tori asked and Jade nodded.

"No food or water, it's freezing, it's sound proof and it's dark" She commented. "The more time that passes, the tighter it feels, it's like being dead…except you feel you're suffocating the whole time" she admitted as she thought about it, she hated that one as much as she hated the chair.

"Oh my god" Beck said truly horrified as he covered his face.

"I know you don't get it and that's fine, I promise you won't have to see anything like this again" Jade affirmed. "Now please go, I need to be upstairs as soon as possible because I might pass out again" she said impatiently.

"But Jade…" Tori said concernedly.

"Go!" Jade ordered as she pointed to the door and they walked out of the room, she closed the door and followed them because she needed to make sure they left the house.

"I can take you upstairs before we go" Beck offered worriedly but she shook her head.

"No, leave now" Jade demanded as she opened the front door and checked to make sure it was clear outside. "Go and make sure no one sees you" She ordered and they simply walked out of the house, so she closed the door and rushed back to her room, she felt weak and she just wanted to be safe in case she collapsed as she sometimes did after being on the chair.

John came back some time later and took care of Jade for the rest of the day, he was satisfied with her performance in the training room and even though their relationship had to be mostly professional, he had raised her as his own child and he cared about her, he just didn't always show it.

On Monday she showed up at school and she looked like nothing had happened, so her friends stared at her and wondered how many times they'd seen her act normal after being tortured for hours. "Hey" Jade said casually.

"Hi" Tori said nicely.

"How are you feeling?" Beck asked concernedly.

"I'm fine, why wouldn't I be?" Jade asked back and he looked at his friends, who were just as worried as he was.

"You know why" He responded and she sighed as she grabbed his hand and took him into the janitor's closet so the rest of the gang followed them.

"What are we doing here?" Tori asked.

"You all need to stop acting scared and shocked every time you see me doing anything 'new' to you" Jade said. "I know it was hard for you to witness…that, just like when you saw me killing that guy, but I can't afford to have you freaking out over it in public" She commented sincerely.

"You could've died" Beck affirmed. "How can you be okay with what he did to you?"

"John knows what he is doing, I trust him and what you saw is something I've had to endure all my life, it's normal" Jade admitted. "I know it's shocking for you and believe me, it never gets easier for me either, not even after all these years but I have to do it and it's okay, I'm perfectly fine now"

"Are you?" Cat asked worriedly.

"Yes, I am" She responded. "So please stop looking at me like that"

"We are just concerned because we are your friends" Tori said.

"Don't lie, you've made pretty clear you don't want me in your lives" She responded trying to hide the sadness in her voice and they looked at each other because it was true, so they simply sighed and she looked down "And I understand, you'll be free soon enough"

"That doesn't mean we don't care about you" Beck affirmed.

"Oh, so you no longer think I'm a monster?" Jade asked coldly and he looked to the side, he couldn't really deny that.

"No one deserves to be tortured, not even you" He responded and she nodded slowly.

"Not even me…" Jade said and chuckled, she knew he thought the worst of her and she couldn't even blame him. "Are you sure about that? What about an eye for an eye?" She asked.

"What?" Beck asked confused

"I've tortured countless people and you've witnessed it" Jade said coldly.

"Yes and we also saw you killing one, but even after that, even after everything you've done, we don't want you to get tortured, why is that so hard for you to understand?" Beck questioned confused. "We care, Jade, we do" He added and she looked at him surprised, she hadn't expected them to feel anything for her other than fear.

"If you really care about me, you'll stop this and you'll act like everything is fine" Jade responded. "Because if you don't and someone sees even the slightest crack in my cover, I could end up in some dark dungeon and what you saw yesterday would happen to me nonstop until I die" She affirmed and they looked at her worriedly "And you know what's even worse? You will be there too because you'll be suspects, and I can assure you that you won't handle it" She said and they looked at each other nervously because she had a point.

"I'm sorry" Tori said. "You're right…"

"Of course I'm right" Jade responded. "This is not a game, I have a target on my back all the time and for now, so do you, so we need to be careful"

"I don't want them to hurt us too" Cat added scared and Jade sighed.

"I know and I don't want you to ever experience it either, so please just…help me out, okay? Don't make it easier for them to catch us" Jade commented sincerely, she did care about them and they could see she meant it.

"We won't"

A couple of weeks went by and Jade hadn't been approached by Robert again, he'd just come that one time to give her the warning and then he'd vanished, so she didn't know what to believe. However, she was glad that her life seemed to be returning to routine, she could go to school and hang out with her friends, then she'd train and go see Katherine, she remained Jade's ongoing mission and it was going okay but she'd barely shared any useful information, so Jade basically only met with her for sex and rants about her work.

"Hi honey, I made us dinner" Jade said sweetly when Katherine stepped into the apartment.

"I could not wait any longer to see you" Katherine said and she hugged Jade from behind as she prepared the table, so Jade turned around to kiss her.

"I missed you too" She said. "But we are together now so we can enjoy the pasta I made…and then, we'll see" she added with a smile as she bit her lip and Katherine kissed her again.

"Oh Jade, I can't stay tonight…" Katherine said sadly. "It'll have to be just the dinner, unfortunately"

"Why?" Jade questioned.

"Because Brandon and I need to finish planning a meeting for tomorrow, it's really important" Katherine said. "But after that, he will have to listen to everything I have to say"

"What's the meeting about?" Jade asked.

"I'll tell you after it happens, right now it's all kind of up in the air" Katherine responded and smiled at Jade. "Let's have that pasta now, it smells delicious"

"Yes" Jade said and gave her a peck, they sat down and had dinner but then Katherine had to go home so Jade did to. She arrived a couple of hours later and found John in his study as always, he was on his desk writing a little note and he looked up as soon as she walked in.

"Hey" She said.

"I'm glad you're here early because we got an emergency call right from Moscow" John informed. "We need to take care of it right away"

"What are you talking about?" Jade asked slightly nervous, she didn't know exactly what he meant.

"There's a meeting tomorrow and it's happening here in Los Angeles" John started. "Several ambassadors, senators and Russian defectors are going to be there discussing things this government doesn't need to know, this will go public and we can't let it happen"

"That must be the meeting she was talking about" Jade said and shook her head annoyed.

"What?" John asked.

"Katherine didn't spend the night with me because she and Brandon are planning a big meeting tomorrow, it can't be a coincidence" She explained.

"No, it can't…He is probably going to be there, maybe she will be too" John said upset and hit the desk "Fuck!"

"So, what do we do? Do you want me to go in and kill the defectors?" Jade asked.

"Yes, but that's not all" John said. "You need to retrieve a suitcase, we don't know exactly which one but it's very important, the documents in it are extremely sensible"

"Okay, so I kill the defectors and take the briefcase" Jade said and looked down nervously thinking about it. "I think a hit like this needs more planning" she added.

"We are on the clock here" He responded. "We also need to make sure Katherine isn't there, you've spent a lot of time cultivating this asset and we can't lose it"

"What about her husband?" Jade questioned.

"We can't pull him out too, he'll have to be there" He responded. "As for her, I'll give her an emergency to take care of in her business, so she misses this" He said as he walked towards her and she took a breath but he could see she wasn't convinced. "What is it?" He questioned.

"I'm not sure this is going to work, we should've been tipped off about this long ago" Jade commented.

"This meeting hasn't been in planning for long and this is exactly why, those sneaky bastards didn't want us to have time to prepare" John commented and sighed "This is a one in a lifetime mission, Alexandra, failure is not an option…You either get the briefcase or you die"

"And what if they get me?" Jade asked and he slapped her so she held her cheek regretting her choice of words.

"Excuse me? Get you?" He asked coldly and she turned back to him ashamedly.

"You're right, it won't happen, I was trained for this" Jade affirmed and he nodded.

"That's right and, in any case, as I said: you get it or you die, you are not walking out of that building without the briefcase" John ordered and she nodded. "We don't have time for more planning, so we are just going to go over the maps and photos of the defectors we know about, make sure those bastards die knowing it was us who took them out as the filthy traitors they are" He demanded.

"I will" Jade said.

"I won't sugarcoat it, Alexandra, this is a strike unlike anything you've done before and chances of you getting caught are 80%, what does that mean?" He asked and she looked at him nervously, she knew what he expected her to say, it was exactly what she'd been raised for.

"That there is an 80% chance I'm dying tomorrow" Jade said trying not to show the fear she felt.

"And why is that?" He asked because he could see she wasn't okay with that.

"Nothing is more important than the mission, not even my life" Jade affirmed confidently and took a breath, he nodded and slowly handed her a little cyanide pill.

"What are you?" John asked, he felt concerned for her as well even though he wasn't supposed to, but he wasn't going to show it. She needed to be in the right mind space for that mission and that mind space meant suppressing all attachments to life, she needed to be prepared for anything and fear nothing.

"A soldier" Jade said as she looked at the pill she'd crack in her mouth if she were to be caught, the pill that would end everything: _a way out actually_, she thought, and suddenly dying didn't seem as bad anymore, she was tired and the thought of ending everything, all the pain and loneliness, was comforting. In the end, she'd been raised to die for her nation at some point and she knew it.

"Are you ready?" John asked.

"I'm ready"

Jade studied the whole plan and the next morning she went to school as usual, the meeting would take place later in the day and she wanted to keep her façade but most importantly, she wanted to see Beck and her friends one more time.

She walked into Hollywood Arts and felt strangely overwhelmed by the ordinality of it; all the students and the teachers having another regular day, worrying about tests, grades, taxes and mundane stuff, having friends, laughing, talking and simply living. The smell of the hall, the sound of life and the colorful surroundings. Everything. Jade loved it, she really did and it broke her to know it could very well be the last time she'd every step into the school.

"Hey, what are you looking at?" Tori asked curiously as they approached her because she'd been standing in the middle of the hall just lost in her thoughts.

"Nothing" Jade said and sighed. "Let's go to class"

Jade spent the whole morning trying to enjoy every second of her life as Jade, she kept thinking about how much she'd miss it but whenever she felt overwhelmed, she remembered she wouldn't really miss anything, either she'd be back the next day or she'd be free from everything. At that point, she didn't really know exactly what she wanted, she just knew living as Jade was the best thing that had happened to her and she wanted to cherish it.

"So, are we hanging out tonight?" Tori asked Jade during lunch. "It's our normal cards and pizza day"

"I'm not coming" Jade responded.

"Why not? Are you gonna see Katherine tonight?" Andre asked.

"No, I won't…In fact, I might not see her…or you again" She informed, she expected them to be relieved if she died, which was sad but at the same time, it gave her some peace to know they'd be free as well.

"What? Why?" Tori asked disconcertedly and Jade took a breath to think of the right way to say it.

"Yes, what do you mean we won't see you again?" Beck asked confused.

"Well, I have a…mission tonight, it's big and I was not expecting it, John told me about it last night" Jade informed and looked down because it was hard for her to say her next words, she didn't want to see the relief in their faces, she knew it would be the normal reaction but it hurt her deeply to imagine them feeling glad about never seeing her again.

"And?" Tori asked because they could see she was sad and conflicted, Jade simply took a breath and looked back at them.

"And let's just say, there is an 80% chance I won't be successful, which means there is an 80% chance I'm going to die…tonight"

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	12. Chapter 12

"And let's just say, there is an 80% chance I won't be successful, which means there is an 80% chance I'm going to die…tonight" She said emotionlessly and their eyes wide opened.

"Oh my god, are you serious?" Tori asked shocked.

"Yes, I am"

"If it's so dangerous, why do you have to do it?" Cat asked and Jade chuckled but then she realized they were all thinking the same thing.

"You still don't get it and that's fine, you probably never will" Jade commented. "I was born for this"

"No, Jade, you weren't" Beck responded. "No one is born to die for some stupid politics, you can't do it"

"I'm not asking you for permission" She simply said.

"Why doesn't your fake dad do it? He is older, I'm sure he can manage, it doesn't need to be you" Tori commented.

"He is a judge, Tori, he is a public figure" Jade explained. "People know him, and he can't disguise as easily as me, no one ever suspects a woman" she added and they looked at each other. "Besides, he needs to stay where he is, he helps us on a higher level, I do most of the field work but he helps me from the outside"

"So, you have to go die because you're less important than him? It doesn't seem fair" Andre said.

"Life isn't fair" She simply responded. "Anyway, if things go well, I'll be here tomorrow as always but if they don't, then…you'll know" Jade commented, and they looked at each other.

"You'll be dead" Robbie said sadly and she nodded.

"On the bright side, you'll be free from me and all of this" Jade added and smiled at them. "I should've never dragged you into my problems, so I guess this would even things out"

"We don't want you to die" Beck affirmed sincerely, he had conflicting feelings about her but he knew he didn't want her to die, he wasn't even sure if he wanted her out of his life.

"There is also 20% chance I'll get it right, so maybe tomorrow I'll be here and it'll be like nothing happened" Jade said calmly. "But I needed you guys to know the two possibilities just so you won't be shocked if things go wrong"

"But I mean, even if they catch you, maybe you'll just go to prison" Tori commented and Jade raised an eyebrow at her.

"It's funny how incredibly naïve you all are" Jade commented with a little laugh. "They won't have the chance to take me to prison" she said and she put one of her fingers into her mouth and tapped one of her teeth a little. They didn't really understand what she was trying to say at first but then it hit them, and they looked at her even more shocked.

"You…really?" Andre asked completely unsettled. He had heard about criminals who committed suicide to avoid conviction and they'd seen it in the movie, but it sounded like something from the last century, not something one of his classmates would do.

"Yeah, not everything in that stupid spy movie is bullshit, you know?" Jade commented. "This is much better than letting those people torture me for the rest of my life"

"But no, you can't do that" Beck said worriedly. "Come on, it's suicide!"

"It's death, people die all the time" Jade responded.

"No Jade, please don't do this" He begged. "Your life is worth more than any mission, you can't kill yourself, please don't do it"

"I am prepared to die, no need to make a drama out of it" Jade responded. "I hope I can pull this off, but I wanted to say goodbye just in case" she admitted trying to hide the sadness she felt.

"You can't be serious about this, please don't do it, it's not worth it" Beck insisted.

"What's the matter? I thought you'd be relieved" She said.

"Relieved to know you'll die?" Tori asked confused.

"You'll be free" Jade responded. "Isn't that what you want?"

"Not if the cost is your life" Beck affirmed.

"Exactly, we are not monsters" Tori added.

"I know you're not, but I am" She said and smiled sadly. "But it's nice to know you worry about me, I am aware I don't deserve it"

"Please don't go" Cat said sadly but Jade simply stood up.

"I want to apologize again, for everything and if I don't come back tomorrow, then I hope you can forget this phase of your lives and move on" Jade said sincerely, and they shook their heads.

"No, Jade, stop this madness" Beck demanded.

"I can't" She simply said. "But I want you to know being Jade and having this life, even if it was a lie, was the best thing that ever happened to me" she admitted. "Anyway, I have to go now" she said and tried to turn around, but Beck grabbed her arm and stood up.

"Please don't go, please don't do this" He begged.

"I don't have a choice" She responded sadly and pulled her arm away. "Bye guys" Jade added and walked away so they stayed there looking at each other confused and sad, they didn't know how to process the news, but Jade didn't have the time nor the strength to make them feel better. She needed to be prepared for the biggest mission of her life yet.

The time came and Jade showed up to the mission determined to fulfill it, she was disguised as a secretary and given how many assistants there were, she didn't have a hard time sneaking into the building after knocking out one of them and taking her place. It was time to prove herself to John and her country, she was prepared and she didn't fear anything, not even death but she wanted to be successful, she didn't want to die as a failure.

The meeting took place in an office down in a secret basement below a government facility, it was a place so secret that not even the people who worked in the building knew about it, but Jade did, she and John had studied the place carefully and set up several contingency plan, she hoped she wouldn't have to use them but it was a relief to know they were there.

When Jade stepped into the room, she saw seven people sitting on one side of the table with handcuffs and cameras pointing to their faces. She knew those were the defectors so she stared at them coldly but then she looked away because she needed to be invisible in the middle of that crowd, nothing about her could catch anyone's attention.

The ambassadors and senators sat on the other side of the table and all the assistants and security people, including Jade, were standing behind them. "Alright, you all are looking at life in the dark hole where you belong…unless, as you promised, you tell us everything you know right now, we've heard it but we need to hear it again, this footage will go public so you need to think carefully about your words" One of the senators said to the defectors.

"You know that doing this will cost us our lives, so we want protection" One of them responded. They were all young like Jade, there were four men and three women and even though it'd been years, she could recognize them all. Those were the people she'd grown up with, they'd all been through the same horrific childhood and seeing them on the other side made her feel angry but also somewhat jealous.

"We are Russian and we are TA-12" One of the girls said right at the camera. "That means we are part of a government program designed to infiltrate trained agents in enemy nations, we came here as kids or teens years ago and we've been living other people's lives, having that cover has allowed us to execute some missions in behalf of our country" she continued as everyone listened.

"Do you have proof of this?" One of the ambassadors asked.

"Yes, aside from our testimonies about several attacks on this country, we also managed to get several documents that prove what we say is true" One of the guys said. "This took us months to put together but it's all there, all the proofs you need" He added and one of the senators put a briefcase on the table so Jade looked at it, that was the prize she needed to take.

"It's all in here, they are telling the truth" The man affirmed.

"Has someone digitalized those documents?" An ambassadress asked.

"Not yet, this is extremely sensible and we couldn't risk it getting leaked before time" He responded and Jade smirked a little, that was good news.

"Alright, open it then" She demanded and the man uncovered the little screen on the side of the briefcase to dial in the code, so Jade looked at it carefully, she needed that code. She was wearing a blonde wig with bangs, glasses and eye contacts, but not even all of that stopped one of her former siblings from recognizing her.

"What is she doing here?" One of the guys said scared as he stood up and the senator turned to him.

"What? Who?" He asked confused but the young man's hands were cuffed to the table so he couldn't point at her directly.

"HER!" He screamed as he looked at her and all the others looked at her as well "You need the code, don't you? That's why you are paying so much attention to his hands" He commented and Jade stared at him confused, she needed to play it cool.

"Are you talking to me?" Jade asked in a fake British accent and they all turned to her.

"She is TA-12 too, her name is Alexandra Romanova" The guy said and all the other defectors' eyes wide opened.

"Oh my god, it's true" A girl added.

"Alex" A third guy said and Jade felt her heart beating faster, it was over.

"I don't know what you're talking about" Jade said nervously as all the eyes turned to her.

"You are here to retrieve the suitcase, right? There is information about you and your dad in there and you know it" The first guy said. "A federal judge working for Russia, now that's big news!" He exclaimed.

"What?" The ambassadress questioned shocked and Jade shook her head.

"Identify yourself" The senator demanded angrily.

"I'm Natalia, I work here" Jade lied.

"LIAR!" One of the defectors screamed. "You need to stop her now" He said to the senators but before any of them could react, Jade took a gun from one of the security guards and shot him, then she stepped back and shot all the others as well, she couldn't have anyone with a gun in that room after the revelation.

"AH!" Everyone screamed and immediately stepped away, they ran to the other side and stood behind the defectors, so Jade aimed the gun at them and took another one from one of the corpses.

"SECURITY! There's been a breach, send help now" One of the senators said on a radio and she immediately shot him too.

"Oh my god" The ambassadress said terrified.

"You made a big mistake" Jade said to the guy who had revealed her identity.

"Alex, you don't have to do this" He responded as she grabbed the briefcase from the table.

"You are all filthy rats and you'll die as such" She simply responded and shot them all as well while the senators, the ambassadors and the assistants cried and screamed in the back.

"Please don't kill us, please!" A woman begged terrified.

"Come here" Jade ordered but the woman didn't want to do it. "NOW!" She exclaimed and aimed the gun at her, so she obeyed.

"Please don't hurt me" She said as she cried, she looked around 30 years old and she was one of the assistants.

"What's your name?" Jade asked.

"M…Maria" She responded and Jade simply looked at her from top to bottom, she nodded and then hit her head with the gun so the woman dropped unconscious.

"You are not getting out of here, they'll catch you and crush you like the snake you are" Brandon, Katherine's husband, said and Jade simply smiled at him before shooting him in the face.

"Oh my god!" The ambassadress exclaimed in panic and Jade shot her too, she shot all the high range people in the room and left only the assistants alive, she knew she had precious few moments to set everything up. She didn't want to use the contingency plan because it was dangerous, but it was the only way to get out and destroy all the evidence.

Jade reached into her bra and grabbed a small device with a button on it, she simply hid under the table and dragged Maria with her, then she pressed the button and immediately heard the noise of an explosion in the distance, followed by the screams of the remaining people in the room. She closed her eyes and a few seconds later felt all the dust and stones falling everywhere but the table was made of steel, so it resisted the hits.

The room's structure was very strong as well, so it wasn't completely destroyed but there were pieces of the ceiling everywhere and she could barely see with all the dust in the air, Jade knew the building on top had collapsed and even though the room was still standing, when she got up she realized some of the ambassadors and the defectors had rocks on top of them.

Jade simply put the detonator in Maria's pocket and shot her on the side of her head, then she placed the gun in her hand and walked to the other side to check if someone was still alive. She saw that three of the assistants' heads had been crushed by rocks but one of them was under the table as well and she saw him moving, so she sighed, she knew what she had to do.

"Pl…please" The guy whispered when he saw her approaching but he couldn't even stand up, so Jade simply grabbed his head and smashed him to the ground several times until she could see all the blood flowing.

She covered herself in his blood, broke her glasses and then she laid down next to him, she even put some rocks on top of her and remained still until the emergency team arrived, but she kept holding on to the briefcase. Jade had avoided killing the assistants with the gun because she needed to make her survival believable and place the guilt on Maria, the scene was designed to show the murder of high level politicians, the unfortunate death of assistants by the explosion and her suicide; that was the story, even if it was only momentary before deeper investigations took place.

"Get them out now!" One guys shouted at the team as they approached and several men rushed into the room.

"No survivors apparently" Another man responded as he pointed at some of the corpses with a flashlight. "They didn't die with the explosion, they were shot" He informed.

"I got the shooter" A guys informed as he pointed the flashlight at the dead woman under the table. "She killed herself"

"Are you sure there are no survivors?" The team leader asked worriedly, he knew the magnitude of that attack would shock the country.

"Not apparently…" One of the guys responded but then he saw Jade, she seemed to be unconscious, but she didn't have a bullet wound on her face as the others did and the rocks on her weren't so heavy. "Wait, let me check something"

The man touched her pulse and realized she was alive, so he smiled and moved the rocks off her body, he saw she was holding the briefcase, but he didn't pay attention to that, she was alive and that was good news in the midst of that tragedy. "I got one woman alive!" He exclaimed.

"Get her out immediately" His boss ordered and the guy simply grabbed her in his arms, the briefcase was placed on her tummy so he took it along with her and she smiled inside, she didn't have to do a lot after that.

The guy rushed out with Jade in his arms and set her on a stretcher next to several other people, there was a line of them on the street and she could see the lights and hear sirens and people all around the place. The explosion had been huge and the whole city was on lockdown because of it, which was good and bad at the same time. It was bad because her hit had attracted a lot of coverage, but it was good because all the chaos allowed her to act without being noticed.

Jade waited until she had a chance to get up and carefully walked away, it was already dark so it was easy for her to go by unnoticed, she went to a park nearby and hid behind some bushes. She simply left the briefcase, took off her assistant clothes and stayed in an all-black plain outfit, she cleaned her face, took off the glasses and put her wig hair in a ponytail.

Jade walked back to the scene and approached one of the members of the security team confidently, she still needed to erase any possible footage from their systems. "Hey, we need to cover the whole area, I want your people in each block, no one gets in or out" She said to the man and he looked at her confused.

"Excuse me, who are you?" He questioned.

"Senator Brandon's security team leader" Jade simply responded, and she seemed so confident that he believed it. "I need the footage of everything that happened in that building, have you retrieved it?" She asked.

"Yes, we haven't had the chance to go over it yet but everything that happened up to the explosion was recorded and it's been saved" He informed.

"I need to see it now, someone crucial to his security might have sneaked into the building and I need to confirm it" Jade affirmed and he nodded.

"It's all in that van, there's no one to show you, though" The man said. "It'll have to be some other time"

"I can manage" She simly said and went to the van, she closed the door and quickly went through all the files, she deleted everything and even plugged in a device to set a virus in the system.

When she was done erasing all the evidence, she simply left the van and calmly walked back to the park, she grabbed the briefcase, the bloody clothes and walked down a lonely street until she found a taxi. She had the evidence, she had killed all the defectors and all the witnesses and no one would even know she had been there. It had a been perfect mission and even though the consequences of her actions were bigger than expected, all she could feel was a deep sense of pride.

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	13. Chapter 13

That day the gang had gone to Tori's house after school because they didn't want to be alone, they were still trying to process the facts and they decided to spend the night together. Everything felt surreal, it was as if they were in a dream.

"Do you guys think she…?" Cat asked worriedly as they sat awkwardly in Tori's living room.

"We don't know yet, maybe we won't know until tomorrow" Tori said.

"Maybe we should watch the news, she said it was a big deal" Beck said, he didn't really believe she would die but only because he couldn't actually accept it. He tried to tell himself she deserved it, but deep inside he didn't feel it. He wanted her to be okay because he loved her, despite everything.

"I agree, if it was such a big hit maybe it got coverage" Tori said and turned the TV on, they didn't really know if they would find anything because it was late but to their surprise, there was news about an explosion in a government facility.

"According to the authorities, the event was caused by an explosive device; it is unknown if the terrorist acted alone or in behalf of a larger organization" The newscaster said as several uniformed people walked behind her in front of what was left of the building. "So far the true identity of the criminal remains unknown, but it's been reported she entered the office disguised as crew and committed suicide shortly after detonating the bomb"

"Oh no" Beck said scared, he couldn't imagine Jade being actually dead, it was such an unbearable concept to him that he just shook his head in total denial.

"Oh my god, look at that place" Robbie said and then the newscaster read a letter someone handed her.

"Well, I've just been informed that we finally have a number on the casualties" The newscaster said. "So far 30 people are confirmed dead and 43 are injured, some critically"

"Do you guys think this was it?" Tori asked nervously and they looked at each other shocked.

"It can't be, she can't be dead…" Beck said and continued watching.

"It has also been confirmed the casualties include five senators and four ambassadors who were attending a meeting here, DNA will determine their identities" The lady said.

"Jesus…" Andre said shocked.

"This has to be it, it can't be a coincidence but…30 dead people, 43 injured, some of whom might die, a whole building burned to the ground" Tori said appalled and took a breath.

"That's…a lot, even for her" Robbie added.

"I know" Tori responded "God, did she really do it?" She asked conflicted, she didn't want to believe it.

"Yes, I did" Jade said as she stepped into the house and they all stood up shocked.

"You are alive" Beck said smiling, that's the first thought that crossed his mind and he said it, he felt happy about it but then the reality hit him, she was alive and all those people weren't because she'd killed them. She hadn't made a distinction between good and bad, she had killed them all indiscriminately.

"I am, I made it out and got this" She informed proudly as she lifted a briefcase.

"What's in there?" Cat asked.

"Papers and information this country doesn't need to have" Jade simply responded and then looked at the news on the TV behind them.

"This has been the biggest attack in our motherland in years" The newscaster said and Jade smiled with a little cynical laugh so they stared at her appalled, they couldn't believe she was happy about it. However, her reaction was no different from the time they'd seen her laugh at the man she'd just tortured, so they felt stupid for even being surprised at her total lack of remorse.

"Oh, my government is so happy about this, I'm a hero in Russia now" Jade said with a proud smirk on her face and bit her lip as she watched the news, she was clearly satisfied with her work and then it hit them again, they sometimes forgot how coldblooded she was because when they were together she was her usual self, but seeing her joy after killing dozens of people reminded them of one crucial fact: she wasn't their friend because if she couldn't feel anything for her victims, she couldn't feel anything for anyone, she was empty.

"A hero? You just killed all those people and you're smiling?" Beck asked coldly and she looked at him emotionlessly.

"It had to be done" She simply responded.

"Oh my god" Beck said as he looked down and shook his head. "I don't even know why I'm surprised at this point" He admitted. "You really are…something else" He added coldly and she sighed.

"If it makes you feel any better, it wasn't supposed to be all of them, things got out of hand and I had to make a choice" Jade commented.

"A choice? So, you chose to detonate a bomb?" Tori asked confused.

"Yes" Jade responded sharply.

"But why?" Cat asked.

"Everything was going well but then…one of them recognized me" Jade said. "One of the defectors, he recognized me before he died, they were all supposed to drink the poisoned water but they didn't and that idiot said my name"

"So, he said your name and, naturally, you had to blow up a building" Beck said sarcastically.

"That place was full of cameras, they had me in every angle and they had that man saying who I was, who John was and most importantly, exposing the mission, this is bigger than me" Jade responded. "I had to make it go away and there was only one way to do that" She said.

"You killed innocent people!" Tori exclaimed upset. "Not all of them were criminals and you just…You just did it, don't you feel even a little guilty? Don't you feel bad for the families of those people?" She asked but Jade remained stoic and calm, she even seemed a little confused by the question and it was clear she didn't feel bad at all, so they shook their heads.

"I don't understand why you're reacting like this" Jade said sincerely and they looked at her disconcertedly, the fact she couldn't even understand their shock meant she really couldn't measure the gravity of her actions.

"You are…unbelievable" Beck said appalled and she looked at him confused.

"Why are you so shocked? You know who I am and what I came here to do, you've seen me killing before, what's all this fuzz about?" Jade asked and they looked at each other not knowing what to say, she was right but the truth was they'd been trying to hold on to the idea that she wasn't a bad person at heart, they wanted to believe she only killed those who deserved it but realizing she was just as remorseless after killing innocents was disturbing for them.

"You are right, we know who you are" Beck said disappointedly. "Which just makes me feel worse about hoping you'd live" He added sincerely and she stared at him coldly, trying to pretend his words hadn't hurt her.

"Well, I am alive…so thanks for your good wishes" Jade said almost cynically and he smiled shocked as he shook his head.

"You ARE a psychopath, Alexandra" Beck affirmed and she glared at him coldly. "I don't care what you say or how much you try to deny it, deep inside you know it's true"

Jade simply stared at him for a few seconds completely emotionless, she didn't know what to respond because she knew he was right to feel that way and she wasn't even going to try to convince him of the opposite, it was too late and that day had been hard enough for her. She just wanted to feel good, she wanted to enjoy her success and she wasn't going to let his words cloud her judgement. That had been a flawlessly executed mission and she had the right to feel good about it.

"You're not going to say anything?" Beck asked.

"Should I? It seems you've already made up your mind" Jade simply responded and shrugged calmly with a slight careless smile so they looked at each other, she was basically confirming it "Anyway, I just came to let you know I'm alive so…I'll see you all at school tomorrow because it's another normal day for us" She said in a threatening tone and left the house.

"Oh my god" Tori said and sat down again. "She is crazy"

"No, she is not…she is just evil" Andre commented and they took a breath. "Her smile! She is proud of this, she really doesn't care"

"No, she doesn't, one thing is killing bad people like her but killing innocents and laughing about it is another level, she really is a psychopath or at the very least, a sociopath" Robbie added and shook his head. "And we have to keep her close if we don't want to end up like those people"

"Not for long, she promised she'll be out of our lives and that's all that matters, we just have to keep up the act for some more time" Beck said and nodded to himself. "She said it, we'll be free soon enough"

The following two weeks went by normally but the city was still in chaos after the explosion, investigations were taking place and they had already determined Maria wasn't the real criminal, but they couldn't really identify Jade from the description they had. They were looking for a young woman with blonde hair and glasses, but no one seemed to know her and there was no footage of her, she was a ghost.

The gang felt uneasy near Jade again, but they tried their best to stay calm because they didn't want to give her reasons to get rid of them, they were sure she wouldn't hesitate to kill them as well and they were terrified of her. Jade knew it and it was sad for her but she couldn't do a lot to make them feel better, she didn't want to lie to them and say she felt bad about doing her job because it wasn't the case, but knowing they felt repulsed by her real self hurt her even if she didn't admit it.

Friday night came and Jade usually spent that night with Beck, so she went to his RV to avoid changing her routine, she didn't need John suspecting anything about him or her friends. He'd been happy with her mission but given the amount of attention it had attracted, he needed her to be extra careful.

"Hey, I brought pizza" Jade said as she stepped into the RV and he sighed, he let her in and closed the door. "So, what movie are we watching?" She asked casually.

"We are alone, no need to pretend" Beck said coldly and she looked down for a second.

"We don't have to fight either" Jade responded. "This is gonna be as hard as you make it" She added and he chuckled.

"Now you use the same phrases you use with your victims on me?" Beck asked and she looked to the side, she forgot he'd seen that. "I guess it's okay, though, I'm kind of your victim too…" He added coldly.

"I'm sorry, I know you're upset because of what I did at that building but I don't want to fight, please" Jade said sincerely.

"I'm not fighting, I just don't have interest in playing happy couple when we both know that's not reality" Beck commented. "You are here because it's part of your cover and I'm protecting my life and my friends' lives, that's it, this 'date' is basically you coming into my home at gunpoint, nothing else" He informed and she looked at him sadly, she knew he was right but it still hurt her.

"Okay, then what? Do we sit here in silence?" Jade asked.

"Do what you want, I don't care, just leave me alone" Beck said and laid down on his bed with his phone while she stared at him trying not to show any emotion, his total indifference hurt her more than she had imagined and cared to admit.

"You are right, this is stupid" Jade said and stood up. "I'll just be outside"

"Good" Beck said, part of him felt guilty to be treating her like that but he felt it was the right thing to do. Jade was, after all, a killer and he had to accept that, he didn't even know if she could feel at that point, so being cold to her felt only fitting.

Jade simply stepped outside and closed the door behind her, she walked to the side of the garden and sat down on the wooden bench to pass the time. She simply stayed there thinking about everything she'd done to get to that point; her childhood, her crimes and the lack of any meaningful relationships in her life. The truth was Jade felt completely alone in the world, she had no one, not as Alexandra and not as Jade. It was always a struggle for her to face the reality. She had grown comfortable behind Jade's mask, she found comfort in the fantasy of a normal life and she couldn't help to feel that loss deep in her soul, she felt she was mourning.

"It'll be okay…" Jade muttered to herself, but she couldn't hold it in any longer, a few tears started streaming down her face and she closed her eyes as she cried in the darkness of the night and covered her face. That darkness perfectly reflected how she felt on the inside, she was a dark void of nothing.

Beck had been watching her from his door and he didn't really understand what was happening, but he couldn't help to feel bad, he still loved her and he couldn't just erase all those feelings from his heart overnight. He tried to be indifferent, he tried to hate her because she deserved it but seeing her cry hit him deeper than he'd expected, he was moved but he was mostly confused.

"You forgot your jacket" Beck said as he approached her and she looked to the side as she grabbed it, she didn't want him to see her crying.

"Thanks" Jade said trying to conceal her breaking voice.

"What's the problem?" Beck asked coldly.

"Go back, I'm fine" She responded but he simply sat down next to her.

"You are crying" He said and she chuckled as she wiped the tears away.

"You could be a spy too" Jade said sarcastically.

"I thought people like you didn't cry" Beck commented.

"Just go back inside, I know you don't like being around people 'like me' and I get it" She said.

"Why were you crying?" Beck asked.

"Why do you care?" She asked back.

"I just don't get it" He commented. "I thought you'd be happy, you just killed dozens of people and you're still free" He added coldly and she looked down.

"I'm crying because you were right" She admitted and looked at him

"About what?" He asked.

"I have no place in the world…not here, not in Russia, not anywhere" Jade commented.

"Yet here you are" Beck said in an ironic tone and she chuckled.

"I know I don't belong…" She said as she looked at the darkness of the garden again. "But I liked to believe, to pretend I did, before you guys found out the truth you were the only real thing in my life, I've wished to be Jade every day since I moved here" Jade admitted and smiled sadly. "Going to school, spending time with you, movie night and all those moments made me forget, if only momentarily, that I should be dead"

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	14. Chapter 14

"It made me forget, if only momentarily, that I should be dead" Jade admitted sadly.

"Why do you say that?" Beck asked.

"Because it's true" She simply said.

"I'm sure there are people who want to kill you, but you might kill them first, you've proven time and time again that you're quite good" He commented coldly and she knew he meant it in a negative way, but she wasn't going to even fight it.

"You are right but that's not what I'm talking about" She said and he looked at her confused so she stared at him with a sad smile. "You don't get it, but it's not your fault, I mean…how could you? How could any normal person?" She asked and sighed.

"Maybe if you explained" He said and she looked down shaking her head sadly.

"It's not something you can explain, you have to live it" She responded.

"Try" He insisted and she sighed.

"I never wanted this, Beck" Jade informed and looked at him. "You think I chose to have this life? You think I chose to be a killer?" she asked almost angrily.

"I don't know, Alexandra, you seem to enjoy yourself while you are at it, so even if you didn't choose it, you certainly have grown a taste for it" He said and she smiled sarcastically as she shook her head.

"It's easy for you to judge me" Jade said upset as she glared at him. "I know you expect me to have a normal reaction to the things I do, I know you expect me to feel bad for the people I've killed but I can't, I just can't" She admitted. "And you wanna know why? Because the people who raised me made sure to erase every last trace of empathy off me" she added.

"Is that supposed to make me feel better? You are still a psychopath who rejoices in the pain you cause" Beck said and she stared at him coldly for a few seconds but then she thought about it and looked down.

"Maybe you're right…" Jade said and took a breath "But I never wanted this, you know…when I was young I used to dream about having a normal life, I wanted to have a family, I wanted to have a puppy, I wanted to play and have friends, I even wanted an older sister…" She admitted and smiled sadly as she stared into space remembering. "They made us watch western movies and I remember feeling so jealous of all those kids, because they had a mom who hugged them and put them to bed every night, they woke up to pancakes on the weekend, they were loved, they felt safe and they all seemed so…happy, while I…" she added resentfully as her eyes filled with tears but she didn't finish.

"While you what?" Beck asked, he could see that topic hurt her.

"That just…wasn't my life, Beck" Jade said and looked at him. "I never had a mom or a dad who loved me, as far as I know they either sold me or they died, the kids I grew up with were the closest thing to a family I had and I couldn't even trust them, we grew up surrounded by other children but we were alone, all of us" She commented.

"Why?" Beck asked.

"When you are like us, you can't have friends" Jade said and sighed. "Back in the mansion where I grew up, when they realized kids were starting to grow fond of each other, they punished us and if that didn't work, they made us fight each other, sometimes to death, because _'at the end of the day, you are alone and you can trust no one_', that's what they always said, every day of my life since I can remember" She said with a tear streaming down her face and Beck looked at her shocked, that was horrible. "And it's true, isn't it? You never should have trusted me"

"How old were you?" He asked.

"The first time I had to fight a friend? Ten" She responded and looked down. "Her name was Annie, our beds were next to each other and we liked to pretend we were actual sisters, she had blonde hair but we looked alike and we loved to imagine that one day they'd send us to America together, we even plotted our escape, we wanted to be adopted and we imagined what our life would be like with our new parents, we always dreamed about waking up on Christmas morning and finding all the presents and having our mom cook breakfast for us" She commented with a little giggle and he stared at her sadly, he knew that story wouldn't end well.

"And what happened?" Beck asked.

"Well, we hid our friendship for a long time but we weren't good enough, so they noticed" Jade commented. "And one night, they took us to the yard in our pajamas in the middle of winter and left us out there"

"In Russia?" Beck asked surprised.

"Yeah, they said only one of us could back into the house" Jade said and Beck looked at her mortified "We didn't want to fight at first, we thought they would let us back in if we resisted it or we would die together, so we just hugged and stayed on the grass trying to stay warm but it was cold and we were freezing, I remember feeling the numbness on my hands after only a few minutes" She commented as she remembered "It was in the middle of the night and we were tired so we just cuddled and I started falling asleep but then…I felt her hands on my neck, she tried to strangle me" She commented.

"And what did you do?" He asked and she looked at him emotionlessly.

"I smashed her head against a rock until she stopped moving and the snow turned red with her blood" Jade simply said and his eyes wide opened. "After I killed her, they let me back in and quickly warmed me up, they even gave me hot chocolate and cake to congratulate me, they said they knew I was better than her and that they were happy I had finally gotten rid of that burden, then they made me sleep on her bed and gave mine to another kid" she added.

"Oh my god, that's…sick" He said sincerely.

"Yeah, well…I missed her at first but then I realized they were right, so I didn't feel guilty anymore" Jade admitted. "Annie betrayed me, so she deserved to die and after that, I never had a friend again" She added and he took a breath processing that information, it was disturbing for him.

"You were locked up there the whole time?" Beck asked and she nodded. "How was it?" He asked and she looked at him confused.

"Why do you care?" Jade questioned.

"For the first time since I met you, I would like to get to know you" Beck responded. "I want to have an honest conversation with you, with Alexandra…not Jade" He added and she sighed, she didn't know exactly how to interpret that but she was glad that at least he wanted to talk to her. "So, tell me, did you have school?"

"Yes but it wasn't like yours, I woke up at 4am every day with a chain in my foot because we weren't allowed to leave our bed during the night" She commented. "Then we had to do physical training for hours...Be faster, be stronger, be the best and still get beaten because nothing is ever good enough" She affirmed as she looked at him. "At 9 we had breakfast but only those of us who had earned it during training, the others were made to stand in line and watch"

"Which one were you?" He asked.

"Both, I wasn't always good and I had to earn my place on the table, but when I did I never got off" She responded proudly. "At first, I felt bad for the others and one day, when I was eight, I tried to give Annie a piece of bread because she was usually standing in line, I thought they wouldn't notice but…they did" she said.

"And what happened?" He asked and she looked down.

"They said that if she wanted my food, she could eat it and they dropped all of it, then they forced her to lick it off the floor until she finished it" Jade said. "As for me, well, they made me watch her and then locked me up in a tiny dark closet by myself for ten days, no food and only two glasses of water per day" She commented. "After that, I never even looked at the kids in line, I just ate my breakfast"

Beck was just listening to her and feeling sad and angry, he could imagine all those horrors and it hurt him to know that had been her life, it was obvious it haunted her even if she tried to pretend otherwise. "That's just…" He started but he couldn't even finish a sentence so she chuckled a little.

"Yeah, well, empathy came at a high cost, we couldn't afford to feel it" Jade simply said.

"You only had fighting lessons?" He asked.

"No, after breakfast we had our 'America' lessons, so we practiced our English and watched movies to understand and imitate you" Jade explained with a little smile and chuckled. "That was fun, it felt like a game"

"A very real game…" Beck said.

"We also had more conventional classes because they needed us to be educated but that was the easiest part, we all liked to be doing normal school stuff, the kind of thing we saw in movies" She commented.

"Did you have spare time?" Beck asked and she laughed a little.

"You are so naïve" She said. "School was our spare time"

"What else did you do then?" He asked.

"I can't tell you everything, it would take weeks, it varied from time to time…there were different stages in the process, we were divided by age" Jade explained. "But I can tell you this, we had to master pain from a young age so what you saw at my basement started happening early on" She responded.

"You mean they tortured you as a kid" He said angrily.

"We are spies, Beck, we are always in risk of being caught and the most important part of the training is our ability to stay quiet no matter what they do to us" she explained.

"They electrocuted you back then too?" He asked.

"No, that came later…they couldn't afford to make us retarded" Jade responded. "They used different techniques to accustom our bodies to pain and the older we got, the worse the torture became"

"That's barbaric, no person can get used to that" Beck said and she chuckled.

"You'd be surprised" She responded.

"What else did they do to you?" Beck asked.

"I mean, I feel this is obvious but we had to beat the polygraph and every other test they threw our way, mistakes weren't allowed" Jade explained.

"What happened if you did make mistakes?" He questioned.

"Every now and then those of us who were deemed weak or stupid simply…died, they were poisoned during dinner without warning" She commented and Beck stared at her appalled, he hadn't seen that coming. "Then the caretakers grabbed their corpses from the table and simply dragged them throughout the hall so we would all see them"

"What?" He asked shocked. "You're kidding…" He added

"No, the next day they usually made us dig out holes in our yard and we buried them, then we could go on with our duties as if nothing had happened" Jade explained.

"Oh my god" Beck said completely appalled and she looked down.

"We lived knowing every day could be our last and that…" Jade said and took a breath as she tried not to cry. "That is a kind of fear you could never understand" she affirmed as a couple of tears streamed down her cheeks.

"God…" Beck whispered as he shook his head disturbed.

"In that mansion they taught us what real fear is so that nothing would ever scare us, we are always prepared to die" Jade affirmed. "We are just weapons in a mission that's bigger than us" she said and sighed.

"Nothing is more important than a life" Beck responded. "You can't believe that"

"I belong to them, we all do" She said. "They taught us everything we know: how to fight, how to kill, how to torture, how to deceive, how to manipulate, how to shoot and how to seduce"

"How do they even teach you to seduce?" Beck asked confused.

"In the beginning it's more psychology and things like that, techniques to catch people's attention, human physiology, the keys to pleasure and more…theoretical stuff, I started learning that when I was around eight" Jade commented. "But it couldn't be all theory, we had to learn from experience" She responded and sighed, Beck didn't like the sound of that, so he just stared at her nervously.

"Experience?" He asked and she nodded.

"Every person needs something different, we had to figure out exactly what that was and provide it" Jade said.

"And how did that happen?" Beck asked afraid of the answer.

"When I was eleven, I had to start getting older men to…you know, be satisfied, in all possible ways" Jade said ashamedly and wiped a couple of tears off her face, but it was obvious she could barely hold it together. "Then women too, everything they wanted to do with us was allowed as long as it gave us experience for the future, other times I was the subject for other kids to practice on or they were mine, it varied, sometimes we even had to be watched and they evaluated our performance, but those times only adults were with us and bad scores from them meant days in solitary confinement with no food" She said as she looked down.

"They raped you since you were eleven…" He said horrified and she took a breath as she held her head. "You were a child" he added and shook his head disturbed by those images. "God, I…" He couldn't even find words to express his feelings.

"It became easy with time, all the practice paid off, I was sent to solitary a few times and I learned my lesson" She commented. "I mastered it!" Jade said with a smile she was using to hide her pain, but he could see through her façade.

"Don't try to justify it, nothing can excuse what they did" Beck said upset. "Raping a child is not training, it's abuse, it's a crime"

"Well, if they hadn't done it, I wouldn't have been able to get crucial information out of several men when I arrived here" Jade responded.

"Did your 'father' do it too?" Beck asked angrily.

"No, John and I have never had sex, but when I moved here I was still young, so he had to keep teaching me things" Jade explained.

"And how did he teach you then?" He questioned coldly.

"We have a bed in our training room, you've seen that" She said. "He taught me positions and things like that, techniques I could use on the people I slept with, either to get them off or to kill them, but we were fully dressed all the time, it was theoretical, he's never touched me like that or had any pleasure from me"

"No, he just sends you out and allows other people to do it" Beck responded and she rolled her eyes.

"It's part of my job, I've been actively using sex as a tool since I was fourteen!" She exclaimed and he wanted to be angry because she was reminding him that she had cheated, but he couldn't, he only felt sad and upset that she'd been through that.

"And that was rape too, you were still a fucking child" Beck said angrily and she looked to the side, she didn't like to think of her missions as being abused.

"I'm not saying those were nice experiences, I hated every second of it but it was my job and at least I got to see the fear in those bastard's faces when I threatened to destroy their lives and when I killed them" Jade commented.

"That is so wrong in so many ways" He said and shook his head. "How can you be loyal to those people? They ruined your life!"

"I was told our bodies and our minds belong to the state because the state nourished them, we simply have to comply with our orders" Jade said and shrugged. "What do you expect me to say? It is what it is, it was my job"

"No, it wasn't and I'm so sorry you had to be there, no person should ever endure what you just told me" Beck commented angrily and looked down sadly. "I never imagined your life had been like this" He said and sighed trying to process it.

"That's okay, I still have hard time telling my nightmares and my memories apart sometimes" She admitted.

"I'm sorry, Alexandra" He said.

"Don't call me that name please, not you" Jade said.

"It's a nice name" Beck said trying to be nice.

"But that's what they called me in the mansion and that's what John calls me when we train, that name makes everything feel real and sometimes I just can't handle it, now is one of those times" Jade admitted because she felt really fragile in that moment. "Jade allowed me to escape my reality, it's the best thing that's ever happened to me and I know that makes me a monster, because the real Jade had to die for me to be here, but I don't care because I wouldn't trade my life as Jade for anything so you can go ahead and call my a psychopath again, it might be true after all" she said upset as several tears streamed down her face.

"Jade…" He said because he didn't know what to respond and she sighed as she wiped the tears away. "I…I don't know what to say" He admitted.

"You don't have to say anything, I already know how you feel and you're completely right" Jade commented and stood up.

"You don't have to pretend this doesn't hurt you" Beck said sincerely, he felt differently about her after that conversation.

"And you don't have to pretend you don't hate me" Jade responded.

"I've never said I hate you" Beck said and stood up as well. "I don't" he added and she looked at him emotionlessly.

"I have killed more people than I can count with my fingers and you know it, no need to act like you suddenly don't care about that because I had a 'sad childhood'" Jade responded coldly.

"You were abused since you were a baby, that's why you are like this" Beck responded. "You literally just told me, I thought you wanted me to understand"

"Maybe I did, maybe I wanted you to know I wasn't born a psychopath" Jade admitted. "But I didn't expect you to lie and act like you don't despise me anymore, nothing's changed"

"I know I've said that nothing could excuse you but maybe I'm wrong" Beck said. "I've called you a psychopath because of the way you react to violence and how ruthless you are with people; the truth is I can't understand you and you know what? You're right, I probably never will, because I didn't grow up in hell and you have no idea how much it hurts me to know you did" He admitted. "It's no my place to judge you, you didn't choose this life "

"I didn't choose it but that doesn't erase all the monstrous things I've done and I don't need your pity now" She said coldly and he looked at her mortified. "This is, after all, just part of my cover"

* * *

**So, now you know what her life was like :(**

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	15. Chapter 15

"This is, after all, just part of my cover" Jade said coldly.

"Drop the act, Jade" He demanded and she looked at him coldly "You don't like this life, I don't even think you believe all the lies they fed you" Beck affirmed and she raised an eyebrow at him.

"Oh, you don't? Do you think I killed all those people for fun?" Jade asked.

"After what you just told me, it's pretty clear you have no choice, you either follow their orders or they kill you too" He simply responded and she looked to the side, that was true.

"So, you think it's okay that I value my life over dozens of others?" She questioned and he looked at her confused. "I am a killer, Beck and I don't regret anything I've done, I would do it again if I had to" She affirmed cynically.

"Why are you suddenly acting like this? You're not a monster, any person living under your circumstances would do what you've done" Beck commented. "I can see it now and I believe you, I believe you're not a psychopath and I believe you care about us, so why are you trying to convince me of the opposite now?" He questioned and she looked down, the truth was she knew her friends would have to leave her life soon and she realized that it'd be harder for her to let them go if they forgave her.

"This was a mistake" Jade admitted. "I shouldn't have said any of that"

"What? Why?" He questioned confused. "It wasn't a mistake, I finally understand, I finally see that you're like this for a reason, but I know that deep inside you're not an evil person, Jade, you're still you" He affirmed and held her hands. "I can see it in your eyes" He added and she looked down

"And what do you expect me to say now?" Jade asked sadly. "-Great, it's great that you get it, now I'm going to go have sex with Katherine and tomorrow I'll kill someone, but then we can meet up for movies and pizza-" She said sarcastically and he looked at her mortified.

"Jade…" He said.

"No! This is my life, Beck and I can't change it, right now you're overwhelmed because of what I just told you so you think it's all good now, you think we can be a happy couple and forget this ever happened, but that's not reality" Jade with a couple of tears streaming down her cheeks "Tomorrow you'll wake up and realize I'm still Alexandra, all the pity will be gone and you'll realize I'm still a mass murderer and you won't be able to handle it and you know why? Because it's monstrous, I'm a monster regardless of my childhood and deep inside you know it" She affirmed with more tears streaming down her face.

"Jade, listen to me" Beck said and held her face gently "You're not a monster and this isn't the life you deserve, you don't have to die for the people who tortured you all your life, it's not fair, you've done enough for them" He affirmed and she closed her eyes as more tears streamed down her face so he hugged her and she felt so broken that she just cried more.

"It'll be okay" Beck said as he held her tight and stroked her head but then she suddenly stepped back and wiped the tears away.

"I'm sorry about this, I shouldn't have told you any of that" Jade said sincerely.

"I'm glad you did" He affirmed.

"Of course you are, you wanted to believe I'm good but it doesn't matter, none of this matters, Beck" Jade said. "This might not be what I want but I can't escape it" she affirmed.

"I know it seems difficult but I'm sure we can figure out a way" He responded.

"How? How do you hide from people like me?" Jade asked and he thought about it, that was a good question because she'd proven lethal in all her missions. "I can't defect, it's suicide so if that's your plan, I might as well just shoot myself and save them the trouble"

"No, no, wait let me think" Beck said and took a breath. "What if you ask for protection? You can tell them everything you've done and what you plan to do and maybe they'll protect you" He said and she laughed.

"Oh my god, you really think it's that easy, uh?" Jade asked and shook her head. "I have killed many defectors who thought they were protected and it wasn't hard, not for me or any of us for that matter, so if I did it I would be dead within a month" She added and he shook his head mortified, she was right.

"We can't give up just like that" Beck said. "You don't deserve any of this and I won't let you ruin the rest of your life"

"There is nothing you can do to change it, this is who I am and who I'm always going to be" Jade responded. "And the best you can do is stay away from me"

"And you really think it's that easy, uh?" Beck asked back quoting her. "I can't just erase the last three years of my life, Jade, I love you, I do even after everything" He affirmed and she stared at him sadly.

"I…" She started and looked down. "I'm sorry, I really am" she admitted.

"You love me too, I know that" Beck affirmed and she nodded a little.

"Yes, I love you and you know what that means?" Jade asked. "It means that I failed"

"No, it means you're human and that those sick bastards didn't succeed in trying to turn you into a psychopathic killing machine" Beck affirmed and she sighed. "You can overcome this, we can overcome this"

"No, we can't, I can't change what I am and I'm sorry but you need to accept it" Jade responded.

"What about Katherine? What if you confess to her?" Beck asked.

"Are you crazy? I killed her husband, she would have me thrown in a dark hole for the rest of my life" Jade commented.

"You said she didn't like him and she loves you now, doesn't she? Why don't you just…pretend you love her back and say you want out of this?" Beck asked and she looked at him surprised.

"Are you really asking me to do this?" Jade questioned genuinely surprised.

"I mean, I don't love the idea of you dating her for real but if it'll save your life, maybe it's worth it" Beck admitted. "Just for a while, only to get you out of this, and then you can break up with her later on"

"Wow…that was unexpected" She admitted. "But it won't work, she wouldn't forgive me and best case scenario would be having to actually date her until she gets tired of me, I wouldn't have a choice or a say in the relationship, it'd be like prison anyway"

"She can't be that bad, I'm sure she'd let you go if you told her you don't love her anymore in a few months" Beck commented.

"Katherine is as vicious as the people who raised me, I can feel it" Jade said. "You think only Russians can be cruel? Your country is just as fucked up as mine, I can assure you that"

"Please just think about it, this might be your way out" Beck commented and she sighed.

"I'll see you at school" Jade simply said and walked away.

Jade arrived home later that night and found John drinking coffee in the kitchen, she didn't even want to see him but when she was heading upstairs, she heard his voice.

"Jade, come here" He demanded and she sighed as she went back to the kitchen.

"What's up?" She asked.

"What's the matter with you? You look…upset" He commented, he knew her better than anyone and he could read her easily.

"I'm fine, I'm just worried because Katherine won't give me any updates on the investigation" Jade said and he nodded incredulously.

"Is that it?" He questioned and she sighed. "Go on, tell me" He demanded.

"Why do we do this?" Jade suddenly asked and he looked at her confused.

"What do you mean?" John asked back.

"Why do we have to do all this? What's the purpose? What do we get from it?" Jade questioned and he took a breath as he nodded.

"You are doubting, aren't you Alexandra?" He said and put his hand on hers, so she stared at him nervously, she felt he would punish her for even asking that. "That's okay don't be scared, I knew this would happen one day" He commented and she looked at him confused.

"What? You did?" Jade asked and he nodded.

"Of course, we all have our moments of doubt, it's normal" John commented. "I'm your supervisor and your caretaker, but I'm not like the robots who raised you and I'm here to guide you in moments like this" He added and gave her a gentle smile. "So go on, tell me how you feel and don't worry, I won't punish you for it" He said and she sighed as she nodded a little.

"I just…I don't understand why we have to sacrifice our lives for this, why can't I have a boyfriend? Why can't I have friends? Why do I have to risk my life every time they say so?" Jade asked upset. "It's not fair! It's not fair that they ruined my childhood and it's not fair that they expect me to ruin the rest of my life too" She added.

"Okay, I understand why you are upset" John said and took a breath. "But I think you're forgetting something important, you're not Jade and you didn't come here to live a happily ever after"

"Exactly, I know…but why? Why can't I just have it?" Jade questioned.

"Because we are simply not like them, we are not like the people in this country and we are not even like most people in Russia, we are more than that" John said and held her hands. "We have a bigger purpose, YOU have a bigger purpose" He affirmed as he looked into her eyes "I know your life has been hard, I know you must be thinking we are the villains in this story and that your loyalty shouldn't be with your abusers" He commented and she looked to the side, it was as if he were reading her mind.

"I'm right, that's what you think, isn't it?" He said and she sighed.

"Nothing bad has happened to me since we arrived here, the only people who have hurt me are not from this country" Jade commented and he smiled.

"And do you think our country created the TA-12 program just because? They had reasons, this country pushed us to our limit and we had to find a way to fight back, you're a new type of soldier, a better soldier and any enhancement requires some sacrifice but it's worth it, you're better than any other agent in the world because of it" John explained. "But don't get me wrong, that wouldn't have been necessary if things were different, all your suffering and all the pain you've been through is the result of a long history that has put us down to give this country a place in the world it doesn't deserve" He affirmed.

"I…" She started but he interrupted her.

"You've been through hell and you have the right to be angry, but don't be fooled, all that suffering was caused by this country and you're not the only victim, you think your life was bad but it can't compare to what they have done to our compatriots in the past, they are barbaric" John said. "You might think that this place is better because they haven't hurt you but make no mistake, Alexandra, if they knew who you really are, if they knew you come from Russia, they wouldn't treat you like they do now"

"Of course they wouldn't, I'm a spy" Jade responded.

"Even if you weren't" John affirmed. "You, me and all our people are not seen as equals here and that's why we have to do things differently, we are fighting for the greater good, we are fighting for our country"

"And you think I deserve to die for that?" She asked sadly.

"Of course not" John immediately said. "But I don't think any life is worth more than a whole nation either, that includes mine and yours" He added and she looked down. "None of us deserves to die but keep in mind it's not Russia who is killing us"

"What about the defectors?" Jade asked.

"They chose their path" He responded coldly "They refused to accept their place in the world, we are agents of change, we are here to undo past wrongdoings and anyone who sides with the enemy is no longer Russian, therefore we no longer care and they are foolish enough to believe this country will honor their sacrifice" John affirmed and she sighed "Now tell me, what happened when they died? Nothing, because these people don't care, they use those who are weak enough to defect and then they abandon them because we are nothing to them" He added and she thought about it, he had a point.

"Were you thinking about defecting?" John asked and she looked at him nervously. "Because that would be a terrible choice, Alexandra"

"No, of course not" Jade affirmed.

"Good, I wouldn't like to lose you, especially not under those circumstances" John commented "You know defectors can't escape their fate but regardless of that, this country is not worth it, they wouldn't appreciate your sacrifice and they would be happy to know you're dead after they suck all the information out of you" He affirmed.

"I'm not a traitor, I just…I wanted answers, I needed to understand why I'm here" Jade said sincerely and sighed.

"You are here because of them, you could've grown up in a normal home, you could've had a happy childhood and maybe now you'd be in school in Russia, your life could've been different but this country made it impossible" John affirmed. "They are the ones you should be angry with, they are the ones who stole your life and now you're fighting to make sure that doesn't happen to any other Russian child again"

"I understand" Jade said and he smiled as he stroked her cheek.

"I know it's hard but you're here for a reason, you made it out of the mansion because you're strong, stronger than most people" John affirmed proudly. "And you'll succeed, we'll succeed together"

"Yes, we will"

The truth was she felt conflicted because part of her believed everything John said, she believed in the purpose of the mission and her role in it, but part of her also believed Beck, she believed her life didn't belong to them and she wanted to just have peace. It was troubling, it felt like a fight between Jade and Alexandra, Jade wanted a normal life and Alexandra wanted to finish the mission. She was both of them at the same time and it was suffocating because she couldn't choose one path, but at the end of the day, it wasn't up to her to make the choice anyway.

It was Sunday night and Jade was back in the apartment with Katherine, they were having dinner and a glass of wine while they chatted about their day; that usually meant Jade would say a couple of stories she made up and then let Katherine go on about all her frustrations, which is what Jade needed.

"You are very quiet today, is there a problem?" Jade asked as they watched a movie on the sofa.

"We still have nothing on the person who killed my husband and blew up the building" Katherine responded.

"You need to stop worrying about that, let the police take care of it and let me take care of you" Jade said as she put her hand on Katherine's leg and smiled seductively.

"You are a treasure, I'm so glad I found you" Katherine said and started kissing her, the kiss quickly turned into a make out session and Jade felt the woman's hand unhooking her bra.

"Wow you're really proactive tonight" Jade commented and Katherine continued kissing her as they walked into the room.

"Do you like it?" Katherine asked biting her lip and Jade smiled

"Oh, I do" She said as took her shirt off and the woman pushed her onto the bed. "I like you when you're rough" Jade added seductively and slowly opened her legs.

"Oh, I've waited for this all week" Katherine said excitedly and got on top of her, they made out for a while and then Katherine broke the kiss "It's game night" She said and got off to grab something from her bag.

"What's that?" Jade asked curiously and Katherine revealed two pairs of handcuffs.

"It's my turn to please my princess…or dare I say, slave" Katherine said smiling and Jade didn't love the idea of being restrained but she didn't want to break their connection.

"Okay…" Jade said nervously and kissed Katherine before she cuffed her hands to the corners of the bed.

"This is gonna be fun" Katherine said and started kissing Jade's neck, she went down her chest, her belly and her inner thighs, so she just closed her eyes and relaxed, she tried to enjoy it. However, Katherine stopped after a few seconds and simply moved off the bed.

"Where are you going?" Jade asked confused and the woman started looking into Jade's purse.

"Let's see what you got here" Katherine simply responded and Jade felt all her instincts firing up.

"What do you mean? What are you doing?" She asked playfully and the woman chuckled as she grabbed Jade's phone and took the battery out.

"I know who you are, sweetheart" Katherine commented and Jade looked at her confused.

"What are you talking about?" She questioned.

"A little birdie told me all about you, Alexandra" Katherine commented. "He told me exactly who you are, what your life was like and how you ended up here, you are nothing but a fraud, a very cute one" She added and Jade's first thought was Beck, he was the only person who knew everything about her, she knew he had come to Katherine to betray her and she felt like the stupidest person on earth for having trusted him. Beck was just like Annie, he was traitor and he didn't deserve her love or even her mercy.

"What? I don't understand anything" Jade insisted. "Baby, it's me…It's Jade!"

"Shut up, I know it all about you" Katherine responded.

"I'm Jade, I'm you girlfriend" Jade affirmed "Please let me go!" Jade begged as she cried, she needed to be convincing but she knew it'd be useless anyway.

"I know exactly who you are, you Russian bitch" She responded and Jade stared at her scared. "You're never seeing sunlight again" Katherine said and a few seconds later four men walked into the room.

"Who are they?" Jade asked scared.

"Let me introduce you to some friends from the CIA" Katherine informed and handed them her purse and the phone. "Battery is out, I couldn't find any bug but it's always better to double check" she said and one of them put Jade's belongings in a bag.

"You sure no one followed her?" One of them asked.

"Yes" Katherine said. "We are ready to leave"

"Leave? Where am I going?" Jade asked.

"No need to worry, we just wanna talk" One of the agents said cynically and she stared at him terrified "Alexandra Romanova, you are under arrest for espionage, identity theft and murder"

* * *

**Dun dun duuuun**

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	16. Chapter 16

The gang met to play cards on Sunday night at Tori's house as they usually did, they knew Jade wouldn't be attending because she had to work and they were relieved, they felt safer when she wasn't around.

However, Beck couldn't stop thinking about everything she'd told him, he tried to see her objectively and not feel compassion, but he couldn't. All the horrors she'd lived made it impossible for him to judge her the same way, not even the murders she'd committed seemed as bad after that conversation.

"Beck!" Tori shouted and he snapped out of his thoughts.

"What?" He asked.

"What are you thinking? You are lost" Andre commented.

"I talked to Jade last night" He responded and sighed. "I don't know how to feel about her anymore"

"What do you mean?" Robbie asked.

"She told me about her past, how she was raised and it's just…" He said and shook his head.

"What?" Cat asked curiously.

"It's horrific" Beck informed.

"Well, we knew she'd been trained by Russians, that doesn't sound nice" Tori commented. "I mean, we saw her father literally torturing her and she said it'd been like that all her life, so we know it was bad"

"Yes, but it's a lot worse than I had imagined and it's not even her fault, she never chose this life" He said.

"It's sad that her life hasn't been the best, but she is an adult now, there is no excuse" Andre said. "She is with one of her victims right now, she's deceiving that woman and she might end up killing her one of these days and we know for a fact she doesn't hesitate to take a person's life…or a whole building for that matter"

"None of us would if we were her" Beck responded.

"Yes, we would because we are good people" Tori said.

"No, believe me…We wouldn't" He affirmed. "Not after living what she lived, she wasn't born evil"

"What did she tell you?" Robbie asked.

"She's been mentally, physically and sexually abused all her life, she's never known love or freedom or safety" Beck responded, anger and sadness dripping from his voice. "She grew up locked up in a mansion where she was constantly tortured, she slept chained to a bed, she couldn't have any meaningful bond with anyone, she was made to compete for food, she had to witness and perform murders as a child, she had to do so many horrible things in order to survive that I'm surprised she is even alive at this point" He exclaimed upset and they looked at each other mortified.

"They really made her do all that?" Cat asked sadly.

"Yes, they did that and many other things to make her the person she is today, they turned her into a weapon because that's all she is to them!" Beck affirmed.

"She told you all of that?" Tori asked.

"I can't even tell you the half of it" Beck said upset. "She is ruthless and coldblooded and cynical and it might seem unthinkable to us that a good person could ever do what she does but…I don't feel so certain anymore"

"You think she is good?" Andre asked. "Really?"

"Not necessarily good, but I don't think she is a monster either" He responded. "I think she's been broken so many times that at this point in her life she no longer fears or feels anything, I mean who would? After living in that place…"

"You seem very affected, how bad was it? What did she tell you?" Tori questioned curiously.

"For starters, she was abused into losing all traces of empathy, they punished her if she dared feel it…I mean, they locked her up and starved her for trying to give a kid a piece of bread when she was eight and then she had to kill her best friend in a freezing yard when she was ten, TEN!" Beck commented and they looked at each other surprised "She grew up knowing she was disposable because those sick fucks poisoned the 'weak' kids during dinner and then forced the others to bury them like it meant nothing, can you even imagine that? Can you imagine what THAT would do to an adult? Well, now imagine what it could do to a child, what it did to Jade" He said upset and sadly, just thinking about it made his heart ache.

"Oh my god" Tori said mortified and looked down.

"What she is doing with Katherine right now? Well, she learned that as a child too" Beck informed. "Those bastards forced her to have sex with older people when she was eleven and when she wasn't good enough, they sent her to solitary confinement and starved her" He commented and they closed their eyes sadly. "That's why she does it now, that's why she's done it since she was fourteen, she was abused, she was tortured into learning" He added angrily.

"That's so…disgusting" Andre admitted.

"The kids in that place are not seen as people, Jade was raised to believe she is a weapon designed to complete a mission and that her body, her mind and her life don't have any worth beyond that" Beck affirmed sadly. "That's the truth, that's how she feels"

"I mean, that explains why she was ready to die a couple of weeks ago" Andre commented.

"That is so sad…" Tori admitted.

"Yes, it is but you said it yourself, she is a weapon and nothing else now, her name is not even Jade" Andre commented. "It's not her fault to be like this but she is, we can't just ignore that, we can't just ignore the fact she is a coldblooded killer, regardless of her childhood, the damage was done and she is twisted now, as twisted as the people who raised her"

"The thing is…I think she is our Jade in a way, I don't think she is evil or empty, I think she is just trapped in Alexandra's life" Beck commented. "I don't know how to explain it, but I don't think the person we've known for years is made up, it's her, that's Jade but she can't escape what she was born into"

"So, what's your plan? You want us to just forget she is a killer and be like nothing happened?" Andre asked confused.

"She is a time bomb, Beck, Russia won't just let her walk away and she might not even wish to, maybe she is just manipulating you" Robbie said.

"Let's just…give her a chance, maybe she is not so bad after all, maybe we can fix this" Beck insisted. "I wouldn't be saying this if I didn't think she deserves another chance"

"She said she is working on a plan to get us out, what about that?" Tori asked.

"If that doesn't prove she cares, then what does? She is doing it to protect us, if she really didn't care she would have killed us in her basement or plotted an accident to get rid of us, but she didn't because she cares about us, that's not something a psychopath would do" Beck affirmed and they thought about it because he had a point. "I know this is sudden and even I am surprised that I feel this way, but I can't hate her, not after what she said and not after the way she's been trying to protect us, she cares, I know she does"

"Okay, maybe you're right but we also need to be careful" Andre affirmed. "Even if she is not a bad person, the people around her are and being close to her puts us in danger, it's inevitable"

"Listen, I know it's a lot to ask…" Beck said but Tori cut him off.

"Yes, it is" Tori said and sighed. "Let's just wait, we'll talk to her and see what she has to say, maybe there IS a chance…"

Two days later they were at school and Jade had not shown up, she hadn't responded messages either and the gang, as well as John, were worried. They decided to go to her house to ask about her but even though they knew John didn't know about their classified knowledge, it was still scary for them to face him.

"Hi" Tori said nicely when John opened the door.

"How are you?" Cat asked nervously but he remained serious.

"I'm fine, thank you" He responded. "In fact, I'm glad to see you, I guess you're here to tell me about Jade"

"Tell you? No, we are here to ask you about Jade" Beck said. "We haven't heard from her in days and we are worried, she won't even pick up my calls" he said and John looked to the side.

"I'll look into it and let you know, maybe she went to San Diego to visit her aunt but anyway, please do tell me if she comes into contact with you" John asked and they nodded. "Thanks guys" He simply said and closed the door, so they sighed.

"That was quick" Andre said as they got back in the car.

"Maybe she is on a mission and it's not like he can tell us, right?" Robbie suggested.

"It could be, he didn't seem concerned to me" Tori added.

"He is not her father and he is part of the reason she is like this now, I don't trust him" Beck commented, and Tori sighed.

"Either way, there is nothing we can do, we just have to wait"

More days, weeks and even months passed and they still had idea where she was, she'd been reported missing but no news had come, the police had no idea why she'd disappeared. John did not know whether she was alive or not and what concerned him the most was the possibility that she'd confessed, he knew that if she had said anything, she was dead either way.

John decided to take a trip to their little hideaway because he couldn't afford to be arrested as well and he tried to find her through his contacts but it had been useless. On the other hand, Beck and the rest of the gang weren't sure if she'd gone on a mission that John obviously couldn't tell them about or if she was really missing, which worried them.

"It's been three months…" Tori said as they sat quietly during lunch.

"And not a single word from her" Andre added.

"I mean if she is on a mission, she won't contact us, right? She is a spy" Robbie commented.

"But what if she is not? What if someone killed her?" Beck asked concernedly.

"We would know, the murders she told us about, you know…her 'siblings', they were public knowledge, we just didn't know they were spies" Tori commented.

"I don't want her to be dead" Cat said sadly.

"The only possible options are: she is on a mission or she is dead, and we know she isn't dead so let's calm down" Tori said. "One of these days she'll come back and it'll be like nothing ever happened"

"She is officially missing, though, so there will be questions if she just comes back" Andre commented. "She needs an explanation"

"This doesn't feel right, her mission is here, it's Katherine and keeping her life as Jade" Beck said worriedly. "I don't think she is okay"

"But she didn't tell us like last time" Cat said. "I mean, when she did the explosion thing she told us she would probably die"

"Maybe she didn't have the time to do it" Beck said and took a breath "I just want her to come back, I want her to be okay"

Two more weeks passed and one day Beck was in his RV waiting for his friends to arrive, they had agreed on meeting that evening to do homework, so he ordered pizza and he was cleaning a little for them. Beck leaned down to pick up some clothes from the floor and a photo fell out of his jacket's pocket, he grabbed it and sighed sadly when he saw it; it was a photo of Jade a year back, he still found it hard to believe things had changed so drastically in that time and he just wanted to go back.

"Don't move" Jade suddenly said and Beck felt a gun on the back of his head so he froze.

"Jade?" He asked confused.

"I said don't move" She responded angrily and pulled down the lock of the gun, so he opened his arms slowly and got on his knees.

"It's okay, I won't" Beck said trying to stay calm but he was disconcerted. "What's happening? Where have you been?" He questioned.

"Where have I been? Are you seriously asking me that?" Jade asked back, anger and frustration dripping from her voice. "You know exactly where I've been, you fucking traitor"

"What? What are you talking about?" Beck asked even more confused.

"I opened up to you and what did you do? You betrayed me as soon as I left!" Jade exclaimed angrily "I don't care if you had good intentions, I told you not to say anything and you didn't care"

"Jade, what happened? I don't understand" He said sincerely.

"Stop lying! You betrayed me but I warned you, I told you what happened to Annie, I told you what would happen if you did it and I came to fulfill my promise" Jade informed coldly.

"Jade, I really don't know what you are talking about, I never betrayed you" He responded scared, he knew she was capable of pulling the trigger.

"Yes, you did!" Jade exclaimed angrily.

"Oh my god" Tori suddenly said from behind and Jade immediately grabbed Beck's neck to turn him around and stay behind him.

"Jade!" Cat exclaimed shocked.

"What are you doing?" Andre asked as she held the gun to the back of Beck's head.

"What I promised" Jade said coldly while Beck looked at his friends terrified.

"Jade, listen to me…I don't know what happened but I didn't betray you, I swear" Beck said.

"Shut up, you liar" She ordered and pushed his head down so he would face the floor. "I'll kill you like the rat you are"

"No!" Cat said terrified.

"Please, Jade, no one has to get hurt" Tori said worriedly.

"No one has to get hurt?" Jade asked back with palpable rage in her voice and tears in her eyes. "Do you have any idea of where I've been the last few months? What they did to me every single fucking day?" She asked angrily as a tear streamed down her face and they stared at her confused.

"No, what happened?" Beck asked.

"Shut up and face the ground" Jade demanded as she pushed his head down again "I know you did it, it couldn't have been anyone else" She said.

"Jade, why did you disappear? Where were you?" Andre questioned and she looked at them trying to contain the tears and anger she felt.

"The CIA found out about me…or, more specifically, someone told them" Jade informed and pressed the gun to Beck's head so he closed his eyes scared "I was at a black site" She said and they looked at her shocked.

"Oh my god" Tori said and covered her mouth mortified.

"What's a black site?" Cat asked confused.

"It's an illegal facility, Cat, that's where the CIA does everything they can't do in regular prisons, it's a torture chamber" Robbie explained as a couple more tears streamed down Jade's cheeks and she glared at them.

"They call it enhanced interrogation, nice name, right?" Jade asked sarcastically.

"They tortured you…" Beck whispered sadly.

"Of course they did! Day in and day out" Jade added upset. "And you caused it, you put me there and now it's time to pay the price"

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	17. Chapter 17

"And now it's time to pay the price" Jade said and smiled maliciously as she looked down at Beck's head.

Jade could only think about everything she'd been through and all she wanted was to pull the trigger, she wanted to make him pay for all her pain but part of her also refused to do it, she didn't want to kill him because she loved him. It was confusing but she knew that if she'd been able to kill Annie, she would be able to kill him too and she thought that was the right choice. He deserved to die.

"No, no, you're wrong, I didn't tell anyone about you" Beck affirmed scared.

"Stop lying!" Jade ordered.

"Wait, if you were in a CIA black site, how are you free now?" Robbie asked confused.

"How do you think? I escaped, I watched them, I studied them and I planned it for months until I could finally do it and everyone who tried to stop me is dead, as they should be" Jade informed coldly. "But it's only a matter of time before they send someone to get me again and that won't happen, at least not before I make you pay for it" she said to Beck.

"No, no, no wait!" Tori said scared.

"Shut up" Jade ordered. "I want to enjoy this moment, I dreamed about it for months!" She exclaimed full of rage another tear streamed down her face.

"Jade, I didn't betray you, they must've found out through someone else" Beck affirmed.

"Only you knew all the details, they couldn't have known all of that by themselves" Jade said.

"What?" He asked.

"They told me things about my childhood while they tortured me! Things I said to you because I trusted you" Jade said clearly hurt "I can't believe how stupid I was, I really thought you loved me"

"I do!" He affirmed.

"Yes, so much that as soon as I left your house you ran to Katherine and told her everything" Jade responded. "You are a liar"

"I'm not lying, the only people I told were them" Beck said referring to the gang and she looked at them nodding.

"Really?" Jade asked emotionlessly and they looked at each other scared. "Interesting…"

"No, Jade…it's not what you think" Andre said nervously

"On your knees now" She ordered as she aimed the gun at them.

"Please put the gun down, it wasn't us" Tori said scared.

"Now!" She demanded again and they slowly got on their knees. "I should've killed you in my basement when I had the chance, you're all the same, you're all like Annie" She said angrily.

"Who's Annie?" Tori asked and Jade chuckled cynically.

"Why don't you tell her, Beck?" Jade said. "You enjoy talking about my past so go ahead, tell her who Annie is" she added with irony in her voice.

"I didn't do it, Jade, you have to believe me" He responded. "I have never even met Katherine" He said sincerely.

"Do you really expect me to believe that?" Jade asked coldly.

"It's the truth, why would I even tell her anything?" Beck asked. "If I had wanted to get you arrested, I would've done it before, don't you think?" He asked and she thought about it.

"You might've had good intentions, maybe you wanted her to help me defect, I'll give you that" Jade said and took a breath. "But it doesn't change what happened, it doesn't change the fact you betrayed my trust, Annie had reasons to do what she did too but that didn't save her, and it won't save you" She affirmed.

"Who is Annie? What did she do?" Tori asked again.

"It's a nice story actually" Jade said with a hint of irony in her voice.

"No, it's not" Beck responded but she ignored him.

"Once upon a time in Russia, there were two little girls who were inseparable, they weren't allowed to be friends, but they loved each other so they hid their friendship for a while" Jade said calmly and they realized she was talking about the friend Beck had told them about. "One of those girls was me and the other was Annie, we promised we'd stand by each other's side forever, however, one unfortunate night, our bond was put to the test, I really thought our friendship was stronger than anything but Annie's loyalty wasn't as big as she claimed and she betrayed me, so I smashed her head against a rock until all the pretty snow in our yard turned red with her blood" She commented. "And then I got to eat cake!" She exclaimed with a cynical smile. "The end"

"Oh my god" Tori said appalled and Jade laughed a little.

"Yeah, oh my god!" Jade said in a mocking tone. "She deserved it, nothing can justify treason and that night taught me a valuable lesson" She said and sighed "A lesson I decided to ignore when I arrived here because I thought you all truly cared about me" She commented coldly.

"We do care, Jade" Beck affirmed.

"No, you don't! They were right all along, I'm alone and I can trust no one!" She affirmed. "I can see it clearly now"

"That's not true, you need to listen to us" Beck responded. "We didn't betray you"

"Yes, you did" Jade said.

"Jade, it wasn't us, you have to believe us" Andre affirmed.

"I don't have to do anything other than making sure you don't see sunlight again" Jade commented upset.

"I don't wanna die" Cat said as she cried terrified.

"I didn't want to be tortured nonstop for months either but here we are" Jade responded.

"We never wanted that either" Beck affirmed.

"It doesn't matter if you wanted it, it's what happened and it's your fault" Jade said coldly.

"Please don't hurt us" Cat begged crying but Jade simply checked the charge in the gun.

"I only have three bullets, pity" She informed and saw their terrified faces "So, do you want to choose or should I?" She asked.

"Jade, please don't do this" Beck begged "This isn't you" He affirmed.

"Oh, you have no idea who I am" Jade said. "This is the purest version of me you've seen, I never wanted you to be on the other side, but you insisted…" She added cynically and they stared at her completely terrified. "So, no options?"

"You seriously want us to choose whom you'll kill?" Andre asked appalled.

"No, of course not" Jade said like it was obvious "I'm going to kill all of you, I just need to decide which ones of you go the easy way and which ones are going to mimic Annie's death" She commented and they looked down trembling.

"Please don't hurt us, I swear it wasn't us" Tori begged as she cried her eyes out but Jade didn't even blink.

"You deserve this as much as Beck does but I'm going to give you the easy way out because I'm tired of hearing your stupid voice" Jade said and aimed the gun at Tori's head so she covered her face terrified, but then the door suddenly opened, Beck expected to see his father or the police but it was John West.

"John!" Jade exclaimed gladly.

"I got your message, but I didn't expect to find this" He commented as he saw all of Jade's friends on their knees with their hands behind their heads. "Care to explain?"

"These rats blew our cover" Jade informed "But that's not why I called you, if those bastards know about me then they know about you so you can't go back home" She said "We need to leave the country at once"

"I know, I left on a trip after you didn't come back because I suspected they'd caught you" He informed "I also activated my contact at the CIA as soon as I got your message this morning, they had kept your arrest secret but that changed, they are not happy with what you did" John commented.

"I'm not happy with what they did to me either" Jade responded. "Those fucking bastards deserved what happened to them"

"Did you…?" He started but she cut him off.

"No, don't worry, they didn't get a single word out of me" Jade informed and he exhaled relieved.

"I knew you could do it" He responded proudly and she smiled. "But why are your friends hostages now? Explain this"

"They betrayed me, they found out about us and-"She started but he cut her off.

"And you failed to report it to me" John said coldly so the gang looked at each other scared "Since when?"

"A few months ago, when we killed the man in the training room" Jade confessed and he took a breath as he stared at her coldly.

"Oh Alexandra, I told you, I said your emotions would get the best of you and look what happened, was it worth it?" He asked disappointedly and she looked down ashamedly. "These people should've been taken care of long ago, we could've staged an accident but now it's too late, they'll know it was you"

"I don't care, I trusted these traitors and they told Katherine about me, they deserve to die like the rats they are" Jade said and John sighed.

"Trusting them and allowing them to live was your mistake, not theirs" John said coldly.

"Don't worry, I'll fix it now" Jade said and put the gun on Beck's head again, so he closed his eyes in resignation, he knew she would kill him.

"Wait" John said before she pulled the trigger "According to my source, the intel came from one of the defectors, Petro" He informed.

"That's impossible, I killed Petro with my own hands months ago" She responded.

"He must've somehow told Katherine before you killed him, which means she played you for months after that and you didn't realize it" John said coldly and she looked to the side feeling ashamed of herself, she couldn't believe she had let Katherine fool her all that time.

"I…" Jade didn't even know what to say, that changed everything.

"That makes two major failures in matter of months, if the CIA doesn't kill you, Russia sure will" He added.

"You think I care about dying? I've been waiting for it my entire life" Jade said.

"You'll have to keep waiting because it won't happen for now, I'm covering this up for you, I already have a plan to change the story behind your little stay with the CIA" John commented and she looked at him surprised.

"What? Really?" Jade asked confused and he nodded.

"Yes, it's a risk but you're worth it" He responded sincerely "And I don't want you to die, Alexandra, especially not under those circumstances" He added and she gave him a little smile.

"Thank you" She said and he nodded.

"As for them, only we know about this and if you kill them, I won't be able to justify it to the Kremlin so let them go" He ordered and the gang felt their souls coming back into their bodies, they never thought John would be the one saving their lives.

"Are you sure it wasn't them?" Jade asked again keeping the gun on the back of Beck's head.

"Yes, I'm sure" He affirmed and she took a breath as she put the gun down so they all exhaled in relaxation and Tori wiped a few tears away.

"So, now what?" Jade asked as she walked towards her father and the gang gathered in the back of the RV still scared.

"Well, first we need to fix your appearance, you do look like you just broke out of prison and we need to be discreet" He informed and it was true; Jade was wearing grey pants and a grey ragged shirt, she had bruises and some blood on her arms and on her face, her hair was all messy and she had huge dark circles around her eyes "Don't worry, I got what we need in the car"

"We need to leave now, I am not going back there" Jade informed seriously.

"You won't but just in case something goes wrong, here..." He said and handed her a small pill, she looked at it relieved and nodded while the gang looked at each other appalled, they knew it was another cyanide pill and the fact she was glad to get it was both, disturbing and heartbreaking for them. They knew those months had been horrible for her.

"Thank you" Jade said and he stroked her face with a little sad smile, even though their relationship was based on work, he'd developed some paternal feelings for her and he didn't want her to go through more unnecessary pain. They were a team after all, and teammates look after each other.

"As for you" John said and turned to the gang, who were staring at them nervously. "You've kept your mouths shut for a long time, and if you want to keep breathing, I suggest you continue to do so, if anyone comes to ask questions: you don't know anything, you haven't seen Jade and you just want your friend back, that's about all you have to say"

"Yes" Andre said scared and Jade simply stared at them coldly, she felt terrible for having blamed them, especially after realizing Katherine had been playing her for months but she didn't know what to tell them, she'd nearly killed them and she knew that hadn't John appeared, she would have done it.

"Jade…" Beck said but she simply looked down, she didn't want to face him and she knew she had to leave anyway, so there was no point in trying to fix things. They would be out of her life and she would be out of theirs, they would finally have peace and she would finally go on to live as Alexandra, her true self.

"Goodbye" John simply said as he grabbed Jade's hand and the two of them walked out of the RV carefully, so the gang finally took a breath and Robbie immediately locked the door.

"Oh my god" Tori said still in shock. "We almost died"

"Yes, she was really gonna kill us" Andre added.

"Thank god her father arrived" Robbie said.

"She was so angry" Cat commented.

"Of course she was angry, she spent all this time being tortured" Beck responded and took a breath. "And she thought I'd caused it" He added sadly.

"I mean, she had a point" Andre added. "She thought only we knew, who would have known Katherine was playing her? It's crazy"

"I know" Beck said. "She was no victim at all…"

"So, now what? She is gonna disappear?" Robbie asked.

"Does she have a choice? She is an outed spy in an enemy country, she'd die here" Andre commented.

"At least we won't have to worry about this anymore" Tori said but Beck wasn't sure about his feelings, he agreed with Tori but he also refused to simply let her go, he knew Alexandra had to leave but Jade was part of his life and he didn't want to lose her. Not even she had nearly executed him.

Jade and John disappeared after leaving Beck's RV, the gang had waited a few days and then walked around their house to see if they would show up, but it had been ceased by the CIA. Jade's social media pages were deleted and her phone disconnected, they really had no idea where she'd gone. It was as if she'd never even existed, there was no record of her or her father. The government had tried to keep his true identity hidden because they couldn't afford to admit to the public that Russia had infiltrated a judge in the country, it was an embarrassment.

"I can't believe it's been six months and we still know nothing" Beck commented annoyed during lunch and the gang looked at each other.

"Beck, she is gone" Tori affirmed. "Jade never existed, she was a lie and she had to disappear, she had no choice"

"I know but I thought she'd come back or that at least she'd let me know she is alright, she said she loved me" Beck responded upset.

"That was before she spent three months getting tortured and wishing to kill you" Andre said and Beck looked down, he had a point. "But even if that were case, even if she loves you, she would risk getting caught or getting you killed by making contact, do you really think she'd do it?"

"No" Beck said and sighed. "I wish this were all a nightmare, I wish she were here"

"I miss her too, but…when she was Jade, not when she killed those people and when she threatened to kill us" Cat admitted.

"Yeah, we all do but we have to move on" Tori said. "The Jade we knew was never real and Alexandra is long gone now"

More time passed and Tori's words became reality, they moved on, they grew up and they got over the trauma of what had happened, they no longer feared going on the street thinking they were potential targets, they no longer thought about Jade and they continued living, even Beck. He hadn't started a new relationship, but it had been two years since Jade had left, it had been two years since the incident at his RV and he had not heard from her in all that time. He didn't know if she was even alive at that point, but he'd mourned her loss long enough and he felt he was ready to meet someone new.

Beck signed up on a dating app and started talking to a few girls, he'd decided to talk to the ones who didn't look like Jade at all because he didn't want to be reminded of her, it still hurt him to remember her and he knew she would never truly leave his heart. However, a new girl could arrive, and he was open to the idea of moving on completely.

Beck set up a dinner date with one of the girls, a beautiful blonde with big brown eyes and sparkly personality but she wasn't boring or dumb. She was perfect because she was the opposite of Jade and that's exactly what he wanted. He showed up at the restaurant early and simply waited for her to arrive, he was nervous and excited at the same time, but it really felt like he was doing the right thing.

"This is your table, Miss" The waiter said nicely.

"Hi" Beck said nicely as he stood up to greet her but as soon as he saw her, his eyes wide opened and the smile on his face dropped. She had long blond hair with bangs and she was wearing a nice red dress just like the one on her profile photo, but it wasn't her. It was Jade.

"Hi Beck, did you miss me?"

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	18. Chapter 18

**Hey guys, this is the LAST CHAPTER!**

**It's pretty long, so enjoy! :)**

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"Hi Beck, did you miss me?" Jade asked and he stared at her shocked. He hadn't expected to see her again, he had waited for her for months after she left but his hope vanished as the time passed by. He had decided to finally get over her and now she was back, she was alive and she was there, after two years. It felt surreal.

"What…" Beck muttered completely shocked and she smiled a little.

"I know I'm not what you were expecting" She said but he was still in shock, he was looking at her like he was seeing a ghost. "Please sit, no one else is coming" She informed, he looked down and sat back down while she looked around to make sure they hadn't caught anyone's attention.

"I…I thought you were dead or out of the country" He admitted confused as she sat down as well.

"I know" Jade said. "I was for a while"

"What are you doing here? How did you know I'd be here?" Beck asked.

"You told me, we've talked for weeks" Jade informed and he looked at her disconcertedly.

"You…You were…" He said.

"Chloe? Yes, also Jane, and Annie, and Laura" Jade commented and he shook his head confused.

"Why?" Beck asked coldly.

"I made different profiles, some more like Jade's and some completely different, at first I expected you to choose Jane, she looked like me and she talked to you first but you ignored her, you didn't want to be reminded of me" Jade explained, a little sadness dripping from her voice, and he looked down. "It makes sense, I should've seen it coming"

"I don't understand" Beck admitted.

"Well, since you ignored Jane, I had to come up with alternatives and I know you, Beck, I know what you like, I knew you'd like Chloe" Jade commented. "She is totally different from me, but she is not a pushover, she has similar taste in music to yours and well, she is pretty so…" She added as she looked to the side slightly annoyed, she deep inside felt bothered by the fact Beck had actually tried to date someone else even though it was understandable.

"I don't care how you did it, I want to know why" He responded.

"Because I needed to talk to you" Jade said and took a breath.

"Yeah? After two years?" Beck asked upset and she looked down. "I thought you were dead, do you have any idea of what these years have been like for me? Do you?" He asked and she looked back at him sadly.

"I couldn't approach you before, but I made sure you were okay" Jade commented.

"Oh thank you very much" He said sarcastically.

"I know you are upset and you have the right to be" She said. "The last time we met wasn't ideal and-" she started but he cut her off.

"You tried to kill me!" He exclaimed and she looked to the side to see if someone was looking at them.

"Could you not yell it?" Jade asked annoyed and sighed. "I know I scared you and I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking straight…" She admitted and looked down. "I spent months being tortured, Beck, they did horrible things to me while talking about everything I'd done and what my childhood had been like, I was sure you'd told them"

"What did they do to you?" Beck asked curiously.

"All of the things I practiced for, but they weren't as careful as John so…I don't remember how most of those times ended, my memories just cut to the horrible next episode, I don't remember having a single moment of peace…I was either getting tortured or getting told how I would be tortured later" Jade commented as she remembered "They also beat me, they tied my arms to a chain and left me hanging for hours, they hit me with an iron stick, they choked me, they starved me for weeks and they did many other things, like I said, I barely remember some of them…" She admitted sadly.

"Oh my god" Beck said shocked and she nodded.

"Yes, it was horrible…not even all the practice I'd had made it easier when it was real" Jade admitted "And all I could think about during that time was the fact you'd betrayed me, I was angry and hurt and that's why I went to see you as soon as I was free, I wanted to kill you and the truth is I didn't do it only because John showed up, thank god" She said and looked down ashamedly "I always think about that day and how close I was to…and it's just…" She said mortified and shook her head.

"I didn't betray you" He said coldly and she rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, I know that now" She responded annoyed. "I'm sorry"

"I understand, Jade, I understand that you were angry and you wanted revenge, I understand all of that and I am over it" Beck affirmed so she stared at him a little surprised "You know what I don't understand, though? The fact you just disappeared for two fucking years and you didn't have the decency to even send a letter" He said angrily as he felt the tears coming "I thought you were dead! I cried for you every fucking night for months, I mourned your loss and now that I thought I could finally move on, you just…" He said as he opened his hands and motioned at her but then he shook his head and looked to the side.

"I'm really sorry, Beck" Jade said sincerely "I couldn't risk your life, I needed you to be safe"

"That wasn't your choice, I deserved to know you were alive!" Beck affirmed. "I think it's the least you could've done after everything you did"

"I know" Jade said and looked down as she shrugged "I don't know what else to tell you, I'm sorry but I needed to get my life under control first" She said and he took a breath to calm down.

"What happened all this time?" Beck asked.

"A lot…" Jade admitted and he sat back listening so she sighed "It's a long story"

"We have time" He simply said.

"After we left your house, John and I had to leave the country illegally so…that was a fun trip" She said sarcastically "I spent some time in Mexico awaiting new orders from Moscow and then we had a mission, it went bad…" Jade said and she looked down to hide her teary eyes. "John was killed and I barely made it out"

"Oh my god" Beck said.

"I was all alone so I went into hiding but then Robert, a CIA man I met while I was still Jade, well, he found me" Jade informed.

"They took you back to that black site?" He asked worriedly

"He gave me a choice, I could either go back there to die or I could betray my country and receive protection from yours" Jade informed and shrugged. "I chose life"

"And what happened then?" Beck asked. "What did they ask you to do?"

"Talk loud and clear" Jade said with a fake smile and sighed "I told them everything, I helped them to arrest other spies and I told them about some of the missions I knew about in exchange for immunity, so I've been under witness protection for a year" she explained.

"And doesn't that mean Russia wants your head now?" Beck asked and she looked at him for a few seconds.

"You could say that" Jade said emotionlessly. "Anyway, I just wanted to apologize and let you know I'm alive" she commented as she grabbed her purse "And I can see you don't want me around, so don't worry, this won't happen again" she informed sadly and stood up but he grabbed her arm.

"Wait, you can't just leave" He said.

"You said it, you're ready to move on and I think you should" She said as she looked at him with a sad smile.

"What about you?" He asked and she sighed.

"Me, well…I'll just try to move on too, I guess" Jade said "Bye Beck" she added and tried to get his hand off her arm but he stood up.

"You can't leave, not again" Beck said.

"What?" She asked confused.

"You heard me, you can't just come back out of nowhere and leave me again, I won't allow it" He said. "I love you, Jade, I have tried to stop but I can't, you're like a disease" Beck commented and she chuckled.

"Wow…I'm really flattered" She said sarcastically.

"You know what I mean" Beck responded. "You can't leave because I love you and I need you, and I know you love me too, otherwise you wouldn't have done any of this foolishness, you wanted to see me again" He commented and she looked to the side trying to hide her smile.

"I just…wanted to say sorry" Jade said but he simply grabbed her chin gently and made her face him.

"Really? Then look me in the eyes and tell me you don't love me anymore" He demanded and she stared at him for several seconds but then looked away, so he smiled. "See? I'm right, you love me and I love you, so why do you want to leave?"

"Because…life is complicated and two years won't erase everything I've done, I know you still remember all the crimes I committed" Jade commented sadly. "I may be out now, but the past will never change"

"I know that, I've had two years where the only thing I said to myself was that I was better off without you, I tried to hate you, I tried to despise you but I just…I couldn't" Beck admitted sincerely "I wished to have you back every single day, even after finding out the truth, cause even having to live with you as Alexandra was better than not having you at all" He said and she smiled a little as a couple of tears streamed down her face.

"Are you sure about this? There's no going back, Beck" Jade said.

"What do you mean? You no longer work as a spy, you can finally have a normal life, we can be happy" Beck said smiling and she thought about it but then smiled back.

"You are right, I just…yeah, I just need you to be sure that you love me because I…" Jade couldn't really find the words. "I do love you, Beck, and I just don't want you to wake up one day and realize you can't live with what I've done" She admitted with more tears streaming down her face. "I killed so many people…and…"

"And you didn't have a choice and I don't want to even think about that, it's in the past" He responded as he held her hands and she sighed. "Let's just leave this behind us and move on, we can start over" He said smiling.

"Do you really think we can?" Jade asked and he smiled as he sat down again but he didn't stop holding her hands, so she sat down next to him.

"Yes" He responded sharply and wiped the tears off her face "So tell me, I want to know it all about you, what's your new name? Where do you live?" Beck questioned and she smiled.

"I'm still Jade, just not West anymore…my new name is Jade Anderson" She informed. "And I live here in Los Angeles, not too far from this place actually, I'm currently working as a singer in a restaurant, it's good money and it's low key"

"That's what you do all day?" He asked.

"No, I also work with Robert, he keeps an eye on me while I give him tips and teach some lessons for their agents, it's awkward" Jade admitted. "Having to stand there and tell those people how to catch and treat people like me"

"But it keeps you free" Beck said.

"I also teach them Russian" She said and chuckled, so he did too "It's a weird change from going to high school" Jade admitted. "But you're done now, aren't you?"

"Yes, we all are but we still meet for cards" He said and smiled at her. "Tori has an apartment now, and we still go to her place" He added.

"What about the others? Are they okay?" Jade asked.

"Yes, they are all fine and they'll be happy to see you again" Beck affirmed and she sighed.

"I hope so" Jade said.

"So, you're a blonde now?" Beck asked and she laughed.

"No, it's a wig" She informed.

"You look great, though" He complimented nicely and she smiled so he held her hand tighter "This will be our new beginning"

Jade and Beck continued meeting and after a few weeks, she also met with the gang, they were all shocked to see her, but they warmed up to her quickly, especially after learning she had given up her previous status as a spy. Everything felt okay, it was like being back to normal, they would hang out and have fun together, Beck and Jade dated for about a year and then finally decided to move in together; it was the logical next step in their relationship, they loved each other, and it was nice to finally have a normal life.

"So, how was the audition?" Andre asked Tori as they all sat down around the table in Beck and Jade's apartment.

"It was okay but I don't know, there were some big names there so I might not get the role" Tori admitted.

"There are other roles" Robbie said to make her feel better.

"Yes, I'm okay" Tori said and smiled.

"What about you guys? How is married life treating you?" Andre asked Beck and Jade so they looked at each other.

"We are not married" Jade said

"Yet" Beck added and she smiled.

"Oh my god, did you actually propose?" Tori asked surprised and Beck smiled as he held Jade's hand and showed them the ring on her finger.

"Ah! That's so pretty!" Cat exclaimed happily.

"I had to save up for half a year, so it had to be worth it" Beck commented and they all laughed, Jade gave him a sweet kiss and he put his arm around her shoulders so she leaned on him.

"You guys are so cute" Tori admitted. "I'm glad you got back together"

"Yes, it's been two great years for you" Andre added. "I mean, getting back together after all that time Jade was away and then moving in and now you're engaged, you have this amazing apartment and everything is good" He said gladly and they smiled.

"Yes, it's been great" Beck said and kissed Jade's cheek.

"And has anything…new happened?" Tori asked Jade and her smile slowly dropped.

"You mean, has Russia tried to kill me recently?" Jade asked back and they looked at each other.

"You defected and you said they would hunt you down" Andre commented.

"They think I'm dead, as far as they know, I died with John three years ago in Mexico" Jade explained "That's the information Robert leaked within too, so I'm not a concern for them anymore"

"Exactly, Jade is out of their reach and we can finally leave in peace" Beck said and she nodded.

"That is great" Andre said.

"Does Robert still make you teach the courses?" Robbie asked.

"Yeah, that's my job now" Jade said "But it pays the bills and at least I still get to perform, he says that with time, I'll be able to do the courses and all that stuff on the side and pursue an artistic career, it's a good deal"

"Definitely a lot better than a black site" Andre commented and she sighed as she drank some wine, she didn't like to remember that. "Sorry, I didn't mean to upset you"

"It's fine" Jade simply said "That's over now"

"And Katherine? What ever happened with her?" Cat asked.

"She got some death threats, so she had to leave the country and hide" Jade informed and chuckled to herself "That's what the bitch deserved"

"Did those death threats come from Russia?" Tori asked.

"Of course they did, I told them all about her as soon as I was free from the black site" Jade said and they looked at each other so she smiled annoyed. "We are not going back to that time, are we?"

"What do you mean?" Cat asked.

"You know, the times when I would say something and you all would look at each other scared" Jade said.

"No, of course not" Andre said and sighed. "That's in the past"

"Exactly, Jade no longer works for those people and we are all free, so you don't have to be scared" Beck said.

"It's crazy, isn't it? To think we have come so far…" Tori said and they smiled. "I mean, after everything that happened, we are still here on Friday night four years later playing cards and eating pizza, it's insane" She said.

"It's tradition, so…cheers!" Andre said and they all raised their glasses.

"Cheers!"

Everything was going great for them, the events that had fractured their relationship were four years in the past and they had finally moved on. They were all thriving and their friendship remained intact, Beck and Jade's love had grown stronger and they were now engaged, everything seemed to have fallen into place. There was nothing else Jade could possibly need, at least _not in appearance_ and that's exactly what she wanted. She had to keep the appearance.

"What a lovely day" Jade said as she took a seat in her regular coffee shop.

"It's cold" The attendant said. "The usual?"

"Yes, please" She simply responded and he prepared her coffee while she glanced around the place calmly, then he served it and handed it to her, she simply took the cup to drink it and discreetly grabbed the photo hidden under the cup holder, she put it in her purse and took a sip.

"It's good, as always" Jade said and took another sip, so the man nodded. She left money on the counter and made her way to a park nearby, Beck was working as the lead on a new show, so he was usually busy and she had time to spare by herself during the day.

Jade walked around for around 30 minutes and then sat down on a bench to look at the lake, there was a nice view, it was almost sunset so the day wasn't too sunny and she felt relaxed. She liked to take those walks and they were a great addition to her routine, it helped her disguise her meeting as self-care time.

"You look good" A man said as he sat down next to her on the bench with a newspaper, that man was John but he looked different, he was wearing different clothes, a beard, glasses and a hat.

"So do you, death has never looked better" Jade commented as she pretended to be on the phone "I'm glad you're back in the city, it's been a while"

"I know, I've missed you" He admitted and she sighed.

"I miss you too, I liked our previous life better than this" She admitted.

"I know but things change, we evolve" John said. "And what matters is that we are still on the game" He added so she smirked.

"Yes, we are" Jade said satisfied

"I sent you your new target, did you get it?" He questioned and turned the page on the newspaper to pretend he was actually reading.

"I did" She informed.

"I need you to get to it this week" John ordered. "Instructions are on the back of the photo"

"Got it" She said and took a sip of her coffee.

"They don't suspect you, do they?" He questioned.

"No, they really believe I'm on their side now" Jade affirmed and chuckled a little. "Idiots, after what they did to me in that black site, they really believe I would ever help them, I'd rather die" She added coldly.

"The important thing is that it made you seem weak to them, they think they got to you through the torture and that's what we needed" John said. "You getting turned in by Katherine ended up serving our purpose, if only she'd known..." He added and shook his head smiling

"This plan was genius!" Jade exclaimed and chuckled to herself "I've infiltrated them, they opened the door for me themselves and Katherine gave me the perfect cover story, it's poetic"

"It is impressive" He admitted "I'm proud of you, you managed to turn a failure into your biggest success to date and Katherine doesn't even imagine it"

"She underestimated me, they all did and the best part is that they continue to do it" Jade affirmed.

"Good, that's what we need" John said "Faking my death and sending you back alone was a risky move, but I'm glad we did it because it worked flawlessly" He added.

"Yes, it did, as far as they are concerned, I've been clean for three years…You know, ever since I let Robert 'find me' in Mexico and save me from Russia" She commented and laughed a little. "How stupid" she added cynically.

"Was it hard to convince him you were telling the truth?" John asked.

"Not really, he knew you were dead, he found me trapped like a little kitten and everything I told him proved my loyalty" Jade commented "I gave him all the names you told me, those weaklings and soon to be traitors were taken care of by this country before they could betray us and all the 'secrets' I revealed made him think I was really trying my best to impress them" She added and laughed again, she found it so amusing to be deceiving those people.

"That's great" John said gladly and looked at her hand "I see you are engaged, is it still Beck?" He asked.

"Yes, I told you in my last message…we live together now" She responded.

"Are you sure it's a good idea?" He questioned.

"I don't see why I can't have him with me, I love him and I'm doing enough as it is, I'm not willing to give up everything I have, not anymore" Jade responded.

"He knows too much" John said.

"And that's exactly what makes him worth it, he loves me despite everything" Jade affirmed so he sighed.

"Risky, but as long as you stay on track and he doesn't distract you, it's all good" John commented. "Just be careful, Alexandra"

"My missions are not as recurrent or as dangerous as the ones I had before, it's all low key so he will never find out, he really believes I defected" Jade affirmed. "Besides, having him and my friends around gives Robert comfort, he feels they watch me too"

"And they don't?" John asked.

"No, you're officially dead and they trust me completely" She affirmed.

"Keep it that way, we are playing a bigger game now and we need you here for the long run" John commented and a cynical satisfied smile appeared on her face.

"Oh don't worry, I will be"

* * *

**Dun dun duuuuun ;)**

**THE END**

**Yep, she is still kind of bad but hey, at least she is happy with Beck and her friends, it's a win-win for both, Jade and Alexandra.**

**I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter and the story as a whole, it was so much fun to write! :)**

**Soon I'll be posting another one I wrote some time ago, so stay tuned for that as well ;)**


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